hi! a teacher in training and a fantasy enthusiast here :) you can call me jesse. i post a lot about dragon age, the elder scrolls, and the occasional video game outside of those two. my art tag is #my art. my asks and dms are always open! pro-trans, pro-choice, anti-capitalist, anti-trump, leftist, pro-palestine, y'know the drill. i use any pronouns! i am a lesbian, taken by a beautiful woman for 7 years :]
my blog holds a general nudity/suggestive/blood warning. still, it is a safe space! i use #cw: [trigger] when tagging my posts.
my interests. the dragon age series, the elder scrolls series, the witcher, red dead redemption (both i & ii), ARCANE, the life is strange series, baldur's gate 3, dungeons & dragons, elden ring, lord of the rings, twin peaks, bojack horseman, breaking bad, avatar: the last airbender and the legend of korra, night in the woods, etc.
favorite movies, top 4. lord of the rings: return of the king, fantastic mr. fox, requiem for a dream, dead poets society
tags. my main tags are #jesse speaks (general chattery) #[insert game] for game content, and #oc[insert oc] for oc content. skyrim fic tag is #fic: little lightbringer
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i love drawing for fun it basically means spending days worth of your limited time on earth working on something you're proud of only for it to flop in a way that will ensure the only three people watching it will be you, a random 64-year-old who hates it, and god
recently (yesterday) made a tiktok for art (it's @onwardspasserine btw). it's mad scary out there. a sketch of mine was labelled ai and i still don't understand why or how (literally every app it's been through is paint tool sai and discord) i fear homophobes also. but fuck it we ball
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recently (yesterday) made a tiktok for art (it's @onwardspasserine btw). it's mad scary out there. a sketch of mine was labelled ai and i still don't understand why or how (literally every app it's been through is paint tool sai and discord) i fear homophobes also. but fuck it we ball
rewatching the haunting of bly manor to boost my own unwellness during this time. who knows, maybe it's time for bojack horseman next. i am allergic to feeling fine and dandy
currently debating whether i accidentally made my sister gay by forcing her to watch all sorts of gay bullshit
there really are only 3 kinds of skyrim mods and its 1) Female NPCs Improvement Overhaul. Converts all female NPCs into having cock destroyer bodily proportions (tagged as lore friendly) 2) 8K Speck of dirt retexture and remodel. Overhaul of a unique speck of dirt found in Hjoldir's Cavern (4GB download) 3) fart thu'um
Whenever I see some anon asking an artist if it's "okay to take inspiration" from their art it makes me want to make some kind of manifesto or billboard or PSA or skywriting campaign to undo whatever damage strange litigious illustrator types inflicted upon the most basic foundations of the creative process. We can't let them get away with this
i am handling this breakup so well. last night i impulse bought a subscription to access an erotica audiobook just to hear victoria pedretti moaning in my ear (i had like $25 left)
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doctor: lower your stress levels or you will literally die
life: ok your sister will go through emergency surgery for gall bladder infection. also you will now break up with your girlfriend of over 8 years. i hope you know how to yoga you dumb fucking bitch
I wanted to come and say as someone in the medical field: I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, it fuckin sucks. I’m sorry anyone in my profession made you feel like it’s nothing, unfortunately medicine is still very much ‘stop what kills you’ rather than ‘let’s make you feel better.’ I know a lot of ppl who dealt with similar things, I can’t give advice but things did improve, eventually. anxiety is a chemical imbalance that makes all other problems worse, ESPECIALLY heart stuff, not a ‘lol youre totally fine’ gotcha… but docs do a bad job of making that clear (and the stigma is real). what you’re feeling is real and it sucks and I hope it gets better. I absolutely adore your art and fic. take care 🖤
as one of my visits ended up with the doc telling me i was imagining all my symptoms (nervous attacks with numbness/tingling and a sudden new lighthededness) this literally made my day 😭❤️
having ocd/anxiety fucking sucks, it's such a heavy load to carry that affects your whole body too. unfortunately the beta blockers haven't been of much help and i'm stuck in a loop of constant pvcs again (going to try and eliminate oils next, bc i feel as if i had this most recent flare-up appear because i ate pan-fried food for two days; already cut back a TON of caffeine and it helped for a while)
it's just a waiting game with most of these issues, although i hate it. i get stuck in constant loops of 'okay but what if it'll never get better and you'll be stuck like this forever' which is... definitely not helpful to the worrisome streak. :D anyway, fuck it we ball, thank you so much for your lovely message and for reaching out ❤️❤️❤️❤️
eughhhhh i didn't die, just had my health deteriorate real quick. after many hospital visits, 4 ekgs and hours of monitoring, bloodwork done twice, i fell into a sort of a mental drain that i just hardly got back up from. didn't sleep, got a wide variety of symptoms because of caffeine withdrawal and sleep deprivation. got assigned beta blockers and meds for sleeping that i didn't end up even trying due their highly addictive nature (since i have a certain tendency) now i'm bedridden with lumbago that decided this'd be the best time to show up again. :') at least i haven't scream-cried on my way to the bathroom this time around (but a cane/a walker would help me so bad right now. only i cannot see the doctor) life sure ain't easy
i have been really into my little sso au that i'm writing with my best friend now, so that's a fun thing. i'm also a single scene away from finishing the new chapter of little lightbringer (that's been taking far too long to complete, forgive me). art's been slow because i've been working to get some money (that comes and goes, as life works).
maybe ONE DAY this will end and i will have a week of no ailments to gnaw at me. maybe.
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sorry i disappeared off the face of earth. i've been battling arrhythmia & MAJOR anxiety and today i went for a 3-hour ekg, heart enzymes, and a new auscultation. got beta blockers, testing them out as we speak. trying to manage anxiety lol
i was literally told there is NOTHING wrong with my heart yet it feels that way lol