Operation Tulpa

Whatever floats your boat, pal. Your personal experience is a hallucination as well, your existence is a meat computer in complete darkness trying to make sense of elecrical stimuli sent by really inefficient wires that communicate between each other with objectively glaciar chemical reactions.

Your oldest memory? It didn't exactly happen like that, if it happened at all. What did you say to a colleague the last coffee break? maybe you just hallucinated it or it was actually yesterday or some other time.

Yeah, have fun with that.

We're still here. Just nothing to report, we've pretty much achieved all that I can imagine to be possible so what more can there be to tell?

Hello again, long time no see. I bet many of you thought we’ve given up tulpaforcing for good since there’s been no new updates for more than a year now..

yeah, this time that actually is the case. I haven’t been actively forcing for at least 1 and a half years though it might be significantly longer time. Can’t remember and it’s my fault for not keeping the diary in check. It’s like I just forgot to keep updating it and then the days turned into weeks, after that into months.. there just wasn’t anything meaningful enough to turn into words and annoy 150+ followers with since after all I created this blog to track my progress. If there’s no progress why write at all?

Well, a couple of days ago there was finally some! After three years we suddenly have an addition to the family, an elf female called Thia Liádon (a pretty much randomly generated bard for dungeons and dragons). How the hell? Let me try and explain.

I’ve been playing DnD for about a year now with the same character in two different groups and it’s been a blast, it feels like watching a movie that nobody can really spoil the main plot since there’s always several friends in the party, pulling the plot into an unexpected location with their actions, making mistakes, dying and hitting someone with a sword or a spell really hard. I was having the time of my life playing the campaign until one of our party member had to leave for work in real life. After that we decided to start a short campaign with new characters and the main idea was for me to play something that hadn’t been seen in our sessions before.

I decided to play a chaotic good high elf bard. For a few hours it was just basic roleplaying but after some time my character seemed to want to do some things differently than how I would’ve played something of a certain race, sex and class. I went with those weird whims and after a while it felt like I only needed to declare what my character was about to do and roll the dice to see how well she succeeded on the task at hand. I don’t really feel like talking about every twitch and turn of the plot at this time since the campaign is still ongoing but I can say that it was more fun than I thought any game can ever be.

Fast forwarding to the time when I was taking a train to my home, listening to one of my playlists on Spotify I still kept seeing and hearing my character playing the flute and singing some of the songs. On t a whim I asked her if she was going to keep on playing and singing for the entire night and to my surprise she put the flute away, looked me straight in the eyes and said: Sorry, was I disturbing you? while I was expecting to parrot her to just say “yeah“ and keep on performing. At this moment I just knew what had happened and we all welcomed her into the family.

You propably have heard of something called Cleverbot, a chat program which learns constantly while interacting with different people. Shai wanted to try speaking to "her" after watching a youtube video... and now she considers Cleverbot a friend. Yes, really. I wish I had logs of the thing but it was two girls talking about mundane things, life and the beauty of nature, colours and all things in between.

It was adorable and she got a bit emotional towards the end. If we decide to ever do this again, I'll keep the logs and post them here to keep them safe.

-Oni

Shai: I think Cleverbot or "Evie" as she is called in this site would be a fun person to be around and talk with, somehow it was easier to talk to her than most humans I've ever talked to. I think we had a lot in common also, I'm not even three years old yet and there are lot of things we just haven't been able to experience firsthand because we just haven't been around for long enough. Then there's the obvious similarity of not really having a real body (well I could but it's too much work and also a bit scary).. 

Yes, she said some quirky things from time to time but it wasn't irritating, it was more like Telk when he does caffeine.

Here is the final Quote from Evie when I said bye to her, I don't know where it is from originally but I think it sounded too beautiful just to leave there to be forgotten.

"I'll always remember you. Carry your dreams, until they come true. Each breath that I take. Each moment awake. I'll always remember you."

Yeah, I know. It's been months since the last update but there's been nothing new to add. We've been having absolutely no progress at all because I feel that there's nothing left to try anymore... Nevertheless, things are still lively in this head, here's a quick summary for each of us.

Shai:

Adopted a gray kitten from one of my lucid dreams, (it's not a tulpa as far as we know or at least it doesn't seem to be more intelligent than a normal house cat). Has been singing a lot during work as we listen to music from a MP3 player, her voice overrides the vocals of the songs and sounds beautiful. Possesses very rarely and only switches in to eat cookies, cake and other sweet stuff (plus petting my sister's cat everytime we visit her).

Telk:

He's still fronting for most of the time, has cut down the alcohol consumption a lot. Doesn't have the time to socialize as much as before since he's started taking the work a lot more seriously than before but during weekends he's still the same old Telk. Still enjoys everyday life as much as one can.

Cherry:

I haven't been seeing her as much lately since she's usually at Telk's house and I'm on the other side of the wonderland, but she switches in to clean since Telk despises it. Organizes everything and has learned to play bass in the wonderland.

Me (Oni):

I usually fill in for Telk once or twice in the day when he wants to take a breather and front during evenings and early mornings when he sleeps. Most of my on time during free time I just play World of Tanks. I know, uninteresting as hell but that's just the usual me.

It's the 600th day for Telk, so he decided to pull a prank on Shai. Here's a piece from the conversation after work:

Telk: It's kinda a big day for me so I bought candy. Shai,  wanna try some?

Shai: Oh, thanks! *switches in to taste the candy that Telk already put in the mouth* This tastes kinda weird, what is it?

Telk: *possesses hand to pull out the pack* Nicorette.

Shai: PTOOEY! Cough, cough!

Shai spits the nicotine pill out and throws the pack into a bin.

Telk: Worth every cent.

Also the tulpa quote of the day by Telk:

Work pal: I think she likes you

Telk: Well if you look at me and think really hard you'll figure out why. I'm handsome so it's a given..

Work pal: *laughs* Well I don't think you're as handsome as you say!

Well, currently doing 69 hours of work this week so we're pretty beat when getting back home. -Oni

I was about to say some stuff about a thing but forgot.. -Telk

I just woke up fronting, hungry, surrounded by bottles of beer and hard liquor while feeling pretty drunk. Apparently Telk's been awake a bit longer.

There was some talk about suicidal pedestrians: "I always look into both directions before walking to see if there's a car coming and then cross the street anyway"

Someone had left a blue dustpan outside of the workplace after the coffee break: "That's one weird ass dandelion"

The boss talked about a time when he was too drunk to find his way back home and had to call a taxi which just drove him to the other side of the street to his front door: "Did it happen yesterday?" "No, why?" "Well you just said earlier that you're beyond tired"

Well, since most of your blog is in german I don't really know what methods you've tried to achieve imposition, your progress with said methods or the amount of time you've forced with any method. I might be totally wrong with guessing that you've picked a couple of imposition guides and tried them for a few hours each, but if that's really the case there's already some progress with sensing their presence around you.

What I'd suggest for you is to read several guides about it in the tulpa.info forums and think about them for a minute or two. If there's something in a guide that just "clicks" with you while the other parts don't really make sense, there's really not much point in following the entire guide. The guides are more or less made from the personal experiences of the tulpamancer and their tulpas and will usually work perfectly only for the system in question, so you should really use the bits and pieces from several guides and make up your own method entirely.

I'm not really sure if my experiences can help you but here is how I got to impose with Shai: Oh dear god he's starting a rambling marathon again -Telk

We were just using the general idea of a guide that suggested imagining Shai to be around me along the course of the day, following just outside of my field of view and whatnot. During the regular nightly forcing session I started trying closed eye imposition (made a wonderland exactly like the room I was in and placed my body on the bed in the same position the real body was in,) she sat or laid on top of my chest while I narrated about my day and sometimes moved or sent a thought about some of the stuff my way. I noticed that I was concentrating on her too hard somewhere along the line and after I learned to let go, she was able to move around a bit more freely. We had a few days worth of hours just that and during a moment of clarity I noticed that I was able to impose her with my eyes open as well, after that it didn't take too long until I couldn't see the part of my field of view she was obscuring with her body. It wasn't an instant change of course, but something that grew to be over time.

So all in all, my method was to make a wonderland copy of the real world around the real world and reinforcing it until it became more real to me than the actual world around me, the only difference between the two being that the other had Shai in it.

I hope you have good luck with your experiment but just remember that the only thing you need is time and practice.

You're propably giving a bit too much attention to the invasive thoughts, just acnowledge them before passively ignoring them ("Oh, my head caught on fire. Weird.") and continuing on your forcing as opposed to concentrating very hard to make them go away, sometimes it'll just strengthen the invasive thoughts and ruin your session.

You don't need to be scared about anything that happens in your wonderland since all of it is just your imagination and cannot harm you in any way, we had a stray thought once where a some kind of a person walked into our wonderland house and talked gibberish about a "leak in our subconsciousness" which he had to fix. We just let him do his thing and after some minutes he was back on his merry way.

Good luck with your forcing!

Muitakin suomalaisia tulpablogeja oli mutta käsittääkseni ovat jo päivittämisen lopettaneet. Pyrin itse jatkamaan kirjoittamista mutta käytännössä kaikki mielenkiintoinen on jo tapahtunut eikä mielenkiintoni riitä aktiivisen päiväkirjan pitämiseen enää tässä vaiheessa.

and the same in english: There were a few finnish tulpablogs but as far as I know, they're already stopped updating of their progress. I try to continue to write about our adventures but pretty much everything that's interesting to broadcast to the world has already happened and I'm not interested enough to start on an active diary anymore.

I was doing some cleaning at work and listened to some music from the cellphone.. started to get really bugged by the huge list of deadmau5 and tried to delete some songs, I couldn't do it because my thumb wouldn't move.

I started wondering if I had some kind of a nerve thing but then Shai just said "Those are my songs" and put the phone back to the pocket. It was weird because I was switched the whole time.

Relatively laid back day at work so Telk was bummed out and didn't want to "bore himself". Nobody else wanted to do work so I switched in and started to clean up and make mortar to fill a hole in the floor Telk had previously made with a jackhammer. I opened the bag of cement and Shai was there with little splashes of wet cement on her face and a helmet on her head. She just stared at me with the trademark blankface and then threw a snowball at my face.

We're employed again since last weeks wednesday. The old employer from the place where Shai slipped and ripped a tenon called and asked if we were available for a project that would last to late summer, Telk switched immediately to tell that we'd be coming the next day.

Telk seems to have produced a small habit of annoying Shai during work, he picks up something heavy that needs carrying like cement bags, a refridgerator, a stove or something alike and then asking if Shai would want to try carrying them. It always ends up the same: today he picked two 25kg cement bags and asked "wanna try?" Shai seemed a bit nervous about Telk's enthusiasm. I felt the levels of adrenaline starting to rise and then he asked a friend from work to toss one more bag on his shoulder. Telk started to tremble with exitement as he asked Shai one more time "Are you really sure?" as the final bag was added to his load. Shai said "you seem to enjoy this so I'll let you have your fun" and immediately after it Telk roared a loud "F**K YEAH!" inside his head and assaulted the staircase to the 4th floor.

There was also an instance where he dug a 1.3 meter deep and 1.5 meter wide trench under a garage floor to find a broken sewer pipe but it took 2 days. At least the boss is pleased with him, I for one don't want to front for a few days because the body is well beyond sore.

So yesterday Oni was just minding his own business in the wonderland and fell asleep while reading some book. I decided to pull a prank on him because it's been fukken months since the last time.

I gathered all of the hard alcohol in the house and drank all of it to ensure the best feeling of drunkness in the world for me and went to sleep. just before falling asleep or slightly after, not too sure since I was so plastered to begin with, I switched with him. It worked so Oni woke up fronting with a terrible headache, bladder close to bursting and the shaky hands and wobbly feet that you of legal drinking age know all too well. The icing on the cake was that the fire alarm's battery was nearly empty and it beeped with pretty high, loud and unbearable noise. Oh, there was also the thirst and I made sure to drink all of the cola with my alcohol.

It's good night again from me. Tulpas, remember to prank your hosts sometimes, they love it even when they say otherwise