Say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out

We’re now 5 days into the new year and by now I would assume that about 50% of people have thought up of some new years resolutions, or at least wrote some goals down that they hope they’ll stick with this year. And usually every year, I’m part of that 50%. And planned to be for this year. Except you know what? No matter how many goals I write down, or projects I want to finish, or things i want to do, there’s always one little problem that holds me back.

My laziness.

Not surprised? You shouldn’t be. Laziness is in human nature - it’s an inherent part of everyone. No one should feel guilty of being lazy once in awhile, especially if you work hard on a day to day basis. But the laziness that I’m talking about, that I’m dealing with, is one that affects me in every single aspect of my life.

Have work to do on the computer? Let me sit on the couch instead of the $200 desk that I bought just so I could be more comfortable. Have lunch to make for tomorrow? Let me throw a peanut butter and jelly sandwich together instead of making a better and perhaps more healthier alternative for lunch. Need to go to the gym? Let me cut my sets and reps short so I can get home in time and bum out on the couch in front of the TV.

These are just little things though. When you take this to a higher level...

Need to work on a creative project? Nah, I want to relax and watch TV, I can do it tomorrow. Need to apply to jobs that are better than the mudane 9-5 one that I have now? Nah, I’m too scared to apply, and besides it’s going to take forever to look at each job posting and come up with questions and answers for interviews, and practice coding questions, and...I’ll just do it later.

See what I mean? I’ve been stuck in this loophole for as far back as I can remember, and there are days when I’m driving home from work and feel so frustrated with myself because all I feel like I’m doing is going to a boring job that doesn’t really motivate me anymore, going to the gym, coming home to eat a late dinner and going to bed to do it all over again. And then when I do get opportunities to actually do something different, something more productive, I throw myself on the couch and go to sleep, hoping my fears of stepping out of my comfort zone will disappear in my dreams.

I know that my goals for 2018 are focused on two main things - get fit at the gym and eat healthier and get a new job. But if I’m going to continue to carry this lazy behavior with everything that I do in my life, I won’t get anywhere.