Lot of folks know about safewords. Lot of folks are aware of tapping being a safe signal, or a way to nonverbally alert their dom they need to safeword, usually through touch or hand signals. Not as many know about safe objects. And I've had quite a few folks ask me what they are after I've used the term in conversation.
In situations where a submissive may be doing high risk edgeplay or will be unable to speak and unable to use their body to signal you (such as an all body tie with a gag) their safety can be better monitored with a safe object.
A safe object is simply an object the submissive holds in their hand that is noticeable if they drop it. If they need to safeword for any reason they drop the object. If they pass out during edge play they will lose control of their grip and drop it and play should always immediately stop and the safety of the sub always be immediately tended to when that object is dropped.
Some objects I've always recommended:
Keys: everyone tends to have keys and they make a lot of noise when you drop them and make very little noise when held.
Bouncy balls: specifically ones that make sounds and light up when dropped can be very useful if you can avoid triggering them in your hand.
Beanie baby/bean bag: look I know your beanie baby probably shouldn't see you like this but it makes some noise when dropped and is pretty easy to spot when it's missing from your hand. You can also squeeze it pretty hard without hurting yourself.
Typically you want something that will rattle or clang when dropped but not while held (so no small bottle of pills or a rattle) so it alerts the dom only when dropped. Nothing that will injure the holder, so if you're a sub that's going to squeeze hard from play, opt for something softer. But make sure it has enough weight to it that it just drops immediately when let go of.
And if you are a dom in this scenario you should be constantly scanning to make sure your sub is holding on to it. You always treat a dropped safe object as a full-blown red and get the sub out of whatever they're in the middle of being put through when it's dropped, even if by accident.
The reason for this is because in higher risk play, this object can be one of the only indicators you get before risking injury and is absolutely CRITICAL to even participating in this play (breathplay I'm looking at you).
It's like a gun, even if you know it's unloaded, you always treat it like it's loaded because most accidents happen when people don't treat it like it's loaded. You always treat a dropped safe object as an emergency. No exceptions. You always treat a dropped safe object as an emergency. You always treat a dropped safe object as an emergency. You always treat a dropped safe object as an emergency. Have I said it enough yet. Is it sticking? Safety before pleasure.
So doms remember: the riskier the play the more frequently you should be scanning for your sub's safe object, no exceptions.
And you may say well that doesn't apply to me, I don't do high risk play. And that's fine, but the amount of people I've met engaging in high-risk edgeplay not taking any precautions whatsoever is way too many, and I'm passing on my safety knowledge in the hope that it helps someone avoid getting themselves seriously hurt or injured.
And now you know too and can help pass this knowledge along. But if you're only ever in lower risk scenarios, sticking to safewords is not only perfectly fine but recommended. But everyone should know what safe objects are even if you don't need to use them.
