lil bee's space

Kissing you with her hand pressed into your padding. Squeezing your neck softly.

staring at people talking to you with big eyes

speaking slowly and quietly

wringing hands/playing with sleeves

look at everything

wanting to hold onto your cg/partner/friend in public (fear of separation/abandonment)

kids menu

dress similar to how you did as a kid, or how you wanted to as a kid (graphic tees, fun socks, plaid shorts)

write or color with your non-dominant hand

ask others what to draw so you have directions to follow

have someone else brush your hair if possible

This evening, rnt and I were lucky enough to be joined on our front porch by three of our friends who happen to share our ABDL interests. As I sat, conversing with these four other magnificent souls, it struck me that there is a myth about ABDL folks that I believed as a young man which was wholly wrong, and the proof surrounded me on all sides… but I never named it. It’s time to do so, for my own sake if not others’.

ABDL folks are not stunted.

To my right sat one of my best friends in the world. He is an intellectual giant with an advanced degree and a seemingly endless compendium of knowledge at the ready. He is an emotionally mature man with deep loyalty to his friends, a healthy and ever-more connected relationship to his family, and a compassionate heart that knows no bounds. He works in the non-profit sector and gives his time and often his weekends to raise money for an issue that really matters.

To his right is a friend I have known for nearly seven years, and whose story gets richer and more amazing every year. He is polymathic, educated in healthcare *and* finance, and able to slip in between disciplines effortlessly. He is an entrepreneur who has assembled a remarkable business, and led both himself and others to very profitable careers. He is an adventurer, a hiker, an explorer, and a giver.

To his right sat his fiancé, a woman with a doctorate from an ivy-league institution who is dedicating her career to reform. She is adeptly conversant in music, art, politics, literature, history, and just about every topic we can seem to throw at her. She is fit, active, loving and beautiful, and leads future PhD candidates through the rigors of discovering their own mettle as they head out into the world.

And to her right sits my wife, the love of my life. She is an artist, a writer, an avid reader and the best poet I have ever known. My written word pales in comparison to hers, and I struggle to recall facts and literary tidbits that she can access with little thought. She is an intellectual, a lover, a devoted daughter, and an amazing mother to our child, and stunning.

ABDLs aren’t stunted or broken. We are every bit the mothers, brothers, bankers, teachers, lawyers, entrepreneurs, baristas, lovers, poets, rabbis and doctors that you place your trust in, and it is duly so. We are humans, and we come with all of the glory, weirdness, complexity, fracture and beauty that humanity does… no more, no less. Are there people among us who have bigger issues than others? Of course. We contain our angels and our assholes like every group, and most of us take turns being each.

Been meaning to write this for awhile… my wife is not into diapers, but is very understanding of my interest in them. While she does not enjoy wearing them, she has no problem if I feel the need to put one on. Still, she finds little ways to be a part of my fetish without having to make herself uncomfortable.

Here is a quick list of the top ten ways she adds to the diaper experience without wearing one herself. If you have a spouse that does not want to play an active role in your diaper play, maybe they might still be willing to do some of these things:

10. Makes me diaper myself in front of her.

I can get shy when I decide to put on a diaper. I usually will retreat to a private area to get suited up, but she will often put her foot down and tell me to just diaper up in front of her. She’s never really looking since she isn’t really interested, but the idea that she might be watching is very appealing.

9. Draws attention to the fact that I am wearing.

She doesn’t ever do it unless we are alone (she knows I don’t want anyone else to know). During those times she will mention that I am crinkling, or give a playful slap on my butt. Sometimes she will just grab me and nod her approval.

8. Demands I strip down to check me out.

If I am wearing a pair of sweatpants or loose pajama pants and walk by she occasionally will stop me and tell me to drop my pants. She’ll then have me turn around a few times, and revel in my shyness. Sometimes she’ll drop a remark if I am wet, saying I need to go change.

7. Makes me wet in front of her.

This is pretty huge for me, since I am a bit shy when it comes to peeing. It doesn’t happen often, but there have been times where she’ll tell me to wet myself and wait until I obey.

6. Makes me wear in public.

Another huge one, since she knows I feel awkward going out in public with a diaper. Almost any trip to the movies she will check to see that I am wearing a diaper before we go. There is no feeling as awesome as when she pulls back the back of my pants to make sure I am all diapered up for a movie with her. However sometimes it is also for regular outings. We’ll be going out and she will tell me to go put on a diaper before we go. Or I have an errand to run and she’ll ask if I’m wearing a diaper.

She doesn’t do it for herself, it’s only because she knows I love it when she does it. I had to sit down and ask her to do it in the beginning, but now it’s just second nature for her.

5. Mentions diapers during sex.

She won’t wear a diaper, but she doesn’t mind talking about it. She’ll often mention what she’d look like if she put one on, using at as a form of “dirty talk” that appeals to me.

4. Never asks… commands.

She knows that it is more of a thrill for me if I don’t have a choice, so she will make it a point of forcing me to put on a diaper. She notices when I am in the mood, or just need a pick me up, and will suddenly get an evil look in hereyes and say, “Go put on a diaper. NOW.“ 

3. Surprises me with a prolonged diapering.

This can happen out of the blue, where she will suddenly tell me to wear diapers around the clock. Usually she will allow me to use the toilet when I need to poop, but the best times are when she doesn’t even allow that. The times that I would ask permission to use the toilet to poop, and she would say no, are probably some of my best diapered moments.

2. Interrupts me in the bathroom and gives me a diaper.

To be fair, when I need to poop I can be in the bathroom for thirty minutes or more and my wife hates to wait. On occasion she will come in and give me a diaper, telling me to get off the toilet. I don’t get any say in this and have to vacate the bathroom for her immediately.

There have also been instances where I need to be doing something (like cleaning or packing to go out for a weekend) when my stomach starts cramping up. This usually means that I am out of commission for twenty minutes while she continues on her own. Sometimes she gets fed up and makes me put on a diaper instead so I can keep helping. 

1. She is accepting, even though it is not her thing.

Bottom line, she accepts me for who I am and doesn’t let my love of diapers bother her in the least. She finds little ways to add to my experience without allowing it to affect her. She recognizes that this is something I need, and has always helped to make me feel better about myself. She makes sure I don’t look at diapers as a negative aspect of my life.