My ex-PI held me back and left no room for me to play around. I now have to hold my current PI back so they don't run around too much. How the tables have turned...

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My ex-PI held me back and left no room for me to play around. I now have to hold my current PI back so they don't run around too much. How the tables have turned...

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Mom: are you going to submit a paper on [my rotation project]?
Me: then people will look at my cv and be like "first paper is in XAI, second in computational cogsci, third in BCI - what kind of mad sorcery is this???" so prob no
Me: I have to tell you this... Please don't get mad... I submitted a paper without telling you and it got accepted by a conference that no one in this department will ever attend because it's irrelevant to this whole field... But I want to go and present it...
My advisor: oh that's totally cool
Me: btw I'm thinking of going to this conference in our field with everyone else in the lab next year even though I'm not presenting
My advisor: nah, you don't even have things to talk about, what's the point?
Me: *lifeless stare at my ongoing research project*
... okay so I guess the criterion is not relevance but contribution (it's time to invade the philosophy department again :))))
tfw the course is mostly embodied cognition and I’ve never read papers on it (except class readings) and a bunch of people were enthusiastically debating its philosophical implication using jargons I’ve never heard in my life
Me, watching Congratulations by DAY6, because I was searching N.Flying but saw this Weekly Idol episode of them with DAY6: hmm the actors looked really familiar
(flashback: watching 썸남 yesterday)
Me: ohhhh that’s the day6 they were talking about in the comment section! The internet is indeed round.
I saw multiple people recommending Parasite so I decided to watch it yesterday. The moment I saw Ki-woo I thought "this face looks familiar..."
Turned out he's played by one of the actors in 썸남, who's also in DAY6's Congratulations MV.
I had to pause and laugh before watching the rest of the film. The film was very good tho, great use of metaphor.

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3 Things I learned after 1 Month in Grad School
1. Not everyone has the same computational background I had. In fact, in a highly interdisciplinary program, it’s rare for any two people to have the same background. It’s normal for a more senior grad student not to know linear algebra and still be able to do good research.
2. Always ask: why do we need this new thing? Often I just took papers for granted (too much textbook-reading rule-following probably), and don’t really think about the value they provide (if any). My advisor, in contrast, asks this literally all the time (and usually ends up questioning EVERY paper...).
3. There’s at least one thing I knew absolutely nothing about: linguistics. My program actually has quite a few language people, and I’ve never heard anything like whatever they talked about. Hopefully I know a bit more now (reading 80 pages of Talmy without any linguistic background was physically draining...)
My flipping anxious brain: shite there’s all these assignments and research stuff I had to do which is gonna take me 40+ hrs and I agreed to prepare a manuscript there’s no way I can finish everything in 4 days I’m fked
Me, after 20-something hrs: wait why is everything done
Me as an undergrad during research meetings: omg I have no idea what they are saying and I'll embarrass myself if I ask for clarification... I guess I'll do some background reading and still not understand anything and stress myself out for two weeks
Undergrads in the same lab as me now: let's talk about this hypothesis that I just came up with! Plus look at this ridiculous statistic! Also why did you only talk about apples?! What about oranges and octopuses?!
Me: ...I guess I understand when people say they dislike undergrads... We are a f-ing mess...
--- Scene 1 ---
Philosophy prof I'm familiar with: when's your birthday?
Me: uhhhh some time during summer break
Philosophy prof: *nods* that makes sense given your personality
Me: ?????
--- END ---
--- Scene 2 ---
My future PI, probably: I have faith in my ability to tell stranger's personality by looking at their resting face
Me, basically unaware of this line of research: *went blank for a minute, trying to recall if I seemed normal during the initial interview*
--- Scene 3 (Flashback) ---
Closest friend of mine: dude you looked unapproachable I wouldn't have talked to you had there not been a mutual friend
--- END ---
Me: well shite can you tell my birthday too
--- END ---
[rant] Questions for An Epic Eye Roll
“You study cognitive science, right? Do you think my therapist is good?”
????? I have absolutely zero knowledge about clinical psychology????? Would you like some predictions by Bayesian modeling?????
“As a cognitive science major, do you think I should take this non-counter medication without a prescription?”
????? When did I sign up for med school????? After six years of zero chemistry education????? Also please don’t?????
“Can you give me your pSycHOlOgY pErsPeCtIvE on my relationship with my partner?”
????? Would you like a connectionist perspective????? Deep learning or reinforcement learning????? Gaussian noise and SVRG to spice it up too?????

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I had a very bad convo with a friend in the study space I usually go to, starting from me proving to him that a STATEMENT he made the other day (when I wasn't there) is illogical. Somehow he thought I was trying to prove that HE is illogical, and kept saying I wouldn't prove his claim illogical if I wasn't trying to prove he, ultimately, is illogical. So I gave further logical argument how that conditional statement doesn't logically hold either. Then both of us got upset (he denied tho), and I was really not in the mood to continue a logical debate like this. Anyways, by the end, he repetitively said "you must ask me to clarify my statement for a reason" and I got tired of saying "I'm literally just suggesting your claim may not stand" so I yelled "can we stop this conversation." He said, "what's the problem with you."
(He originally made a very ill-informed claim about LGBTQ+ and sexual assault, and I couldn't ignore it)
He also made claims in our convo like "anyone's claim would be bullshit by your standard". I mentioned "accurate belief" and he said "there's no such thing". I was so frustrated I was ready to throw all philosophy papers I have at him.
I packed my things, told him I'm sorry if anything I did hurt him. I'm not coming back to this space. I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to let others be aware that their argument could be biased, in a logical manner, but there's no way I can be myself without upsetting other people. This is so shit.
----
Honestly I would have done the same, and the only regret I have was that I yelled at him because I got tired of his whining and illogical defense. But the fact that he tried so hard to make himself look innocent and protect his self pride while making me look like the villain is just too shocking.
jfc why am I ruminating over this thing so much.
----
After talking about this to a few friends, I have learned that I am a piece of wrong, mean, rude, overly sensitive, and stubborn object that everyone wants to avoid. No one cared to ask how I was doing because I didn't talk, and the current state of my existence is problematic. Where do I even start working on that?
Expected questions from relatives/non-academic friends knowing I'm going to grad school (sample answer attached)
"Are you gonna be a fEmALe dOcToR?"
Wait I thought I just wanted to get my doctorate. Tell me more about this fancy "female" add-on.
"Are you gonna be a pRoFFeSSoR?"
Is that a job offer?
"What do you study?"
What do you think? I'll tell you if it's right or wrong.
"Do you have a boyfriend yet? You know, once you graduate you are gonna be like 30 and that's too late oh wait you can marry someone during grad school right? Anyways, you need a boyfriend."
Why do you care? Are you applying to be my boyfriend?
"I know someone who goes to that school for undergrad! Are you gonna see them in class? Can you take care of them?"
Will you pay me for my time that I could otherwise use to do actually important things?
(TBC)
How to imitate me talking irl, according to my friend
Include one of the following phrase in every ten sentences or so:
"fk me"
"you should go fk yourself"
"shoot them out of space"
"Flipping Hell"
"Jesus Fking Christ"
"wut the actual fk"
"how about no"
"when did I sign up for this"
Best result if coupled with an eye roll.
This is probably the best and saddest video I've ever made in my college life.
Student: I need a regrade. I got full marks on the first two sections of this question and zero on the third one, but I used the same piece of code.
Me, in a rational alternative universe: no single section could verify complete correctness, so correctness in any section does not necessarily imply correctness in another
Me, in a slightly bitter universe: have you ever heard of edge cases, asking for a friend
Me, in this very actual universe: why stop there, step up your game and say you used the same brain to infer 1 + 1 = 2 so everything else you come up with must also be correct

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Just got my first official rejection letter from grad school. That's it. That marks the official start of the downfall of my grad school application season. I'm ready for the [shit I have to go rough to not get into grad school] thread.
*tried to do the sit-to-stand test w/ left foot in front*
*stood up without any trouble*
Me: huh this is not as bad as I thought
*continued to try with right foot in front*
*almost broke the wall*