One for Mischief

“I know…” She whispered in return with a deep understanding.

In truth, she never expected him to make promises. Certainly not flowery promises of forever and love and devotion. He was still unwell, learning how to live in this new world. He was still learning his place and learning his heart. Learning if there was room for anyone else.

She had waited this long for the walls to fall and it was worth it. This hug alone was worth it. If this small bit of affection could breath life into her… imagine what patience could reap in the future. If not… at least she could die knowing she’d put in her whole heart.

The sound of her name on his lips waa promise enough. There was some thought for her well-being behind his tone. There was a glimmer. There was Loki. To her, he was worth a lifetime of patience. Since no one had thought to give him that, she gave it in abundance.

Drawing back she peered into his eyes. Slow but deliberate, tentative and reassuring, her hand brushed his cheek, finger tips tangling in his hair. “I know… But I can. And I will. Without any hesitation, without any regret. I will wait a thousand years for just one hug. This…. this is enough. This moment. Whatever you can give me in a moment. It is enough.”

Her eyes spoke the rest. I will never force you to love me. 

Loki stared at her, astounded by the softness of her touch and the unyielding certainty of her conviction. It was not the wind that took his breath away--it was most decidedly her, and he was still not used to that. 

My muse must answer truthfully.

What line should someone never cross?

What line have you crossed that you regret?

Do you hate yourself?

What do you hate about yourself?

Do you hate others?

What do you hate about others?

Do you have a mental illness?

Have you ever sought therapy?

Has therapy ever worked?

Do you have a physical illness?

Do you have a physical disability?

Do you take medication(s)?

Do you overthink things?

Do you take things too literally?

Have you ever died?

Were you brought back?

When you were brought back what was your reaction?

Have you ever been in a coma?

What was it like?

Are you more likely to have dreams or nightmares?

Do you think your friends shouldn’t like you?

Do you ever wonder why people hang around you?

Have you ever pushed someone away?

Why did you push them away?

Is your first instinct to run and hide, try to talk it out, or fight?

What’s your moral alignment?

Are you a sadist?

Are you a masochist?

Are you a pyromaniac?

What would it take to push you over the edge of anger?

What would it take to mentally break you?

Have you ever been mentally broken? Describe the experience.

Have you ever been physically broken? Describe the experience.

Who has caused you the most pain in your life?

What is your core belief about yourself? (I.e. “I’m a horrible person”)

What assumptions do you make about yourself due to that belief? (I.e. “I cause people problems”)

What rules do you follow due to that belief? (I.e. “Stay quiet or else they might hate you.”)

Do you think people should know your pain? Or do you believe that nobody should?

Do you have brief moments of happiness?

Does your trauma have specific triggers? What are they?

What is the strangest thing that’s ever triggered memories of your trauma or panic?

Do you have hope in the future?

Do you think you can get better?

What do you stay alive for?

Do you ever get terribly-timed existential dread?

Have you ever said something that made it obvious you’re ill and suddenly everyone around you looked at you strangely? Describe it.

What is the strangest reason you’ve gotten rationally angry?

How do you cope?

Have you ever hurt yourself?

I am NOT your brother

                                                           Rules | Verses  |  Ask

All of those years believing that Loki was dead when Loki was alive, wearing his Father’s skin like a cloak simply because Thor had left him to die alone in Svartalfheim. He had to save the universe that was yet again in danger but, was the universe more important than a brother?

Loki was right to lash out at him, to despise him and his lineage. Odin would have his head in a spear and Thor would probably be sent to a cell for treason. Thor was a failure to all of those whom he loved. He had believed, prayed that Loki would find peace in Valhalla by his Mother’s side. Now, looking at his brother broken expression, he know that peace was a far concept for him.

In the cold floor of his cell, Thor brought his knees to his chest and buried his face into the folded cradle of his arms, trying to disappear or to become small and insignificant. He knew he wasn’t neither, but he wanted to shield himself from the world that changed so abruptly he could hardly comprehend.

At Loki’s accusation Thor felt his throat burning with guilty, trying to choke back a sob. He knew it was because of him that Frigga had died. He wasn’t enough to save her, or Loki, or his Father. Loki had to come back from the dead to tell him what he failed to see: he was never enough and he would never be.

“I am sorry,” he heard himself repeating. He didn’t know what exactly he was apologizing for. For being an useless son and brother and prince? All of them combined?   “Leave me alone.”

It wasn’t enough. It was never enough. Power was all well and good, but Loki had realised lately how stale it became when it was easy--and Thor was putting up very little resistance. He was merely sitting there, agreeing, letting this happen. The apathy was so unlike him, and Loki felt, with an uncomfortable prickle, just how familiar it was. His own thoughts had been there--tangled in despair, unable to break free and unwilling to try.

But still, a part of him whispered, this was Thor. Thor was supposed to be stronger than this. Loki had counted on it. 

“You’re sorry?” he hissed, tension flooding his stance as he took a few sharp steps towards Thor. His thin lips twisted as he looked down. “Oh, my brother--you will be far more than that before I am done--when you see what your arrogance and neglect have brought on this Realm--when you hear the cries of Asgard for the Prince who abandoned them--then your sorrow will be tenfold.”