drown me in coffee

the world is vile. the state of politics in the uk is so bleak and fuelled by hatred and bigotry right now i don’t know how anyone can stand it

update cause i’ve been not posting weight or intake the past few days, i’ve been binging and also have a cold 😀 im in hell

i actually might just work in a pub for the rest of my life who fucking cares. i’m not gonna get a professional job at this point, def not making enough money to buy my own place ever and it’ll probably take them like at least 15 years to replace bartenders with robots and by then i’ll just kill myself

banger tunes on the pub radio i swear someone who works here has the exact same playlist as me

the state of the world makes me want to drown myself. i have to find a way to live in the woods or something so when nuclear war comes at least it'll be a surprise

i would kill to have been born a lean guy who wears band shirts and beanies and grows their hair long

instagram unprompted showed me a picture of my ex wonderful so great

in the library and a fully grown woman who i heard talking completely normally earlier is now talking in a horrible baby voice when her assumed boyfriend turned up eughhh

i don’t think i’ll find it atp but i thought i might ask on the off chance anyone’s seen it, around 2019 my school made literally the whole school watch this documentary about eds, it was following girls in an inpatient ward in the UK i would guess in the 2000s or early 2010s? there was a scene where a girl was sobbing bc she was being made to drink water, and another where a girl had to have a meal out with her dad and then after they tried to spring on her that she had to have dessert as well after a bowl of pasta i felt so horrible for her. anyway i have no idea what the name was but if anyone possibly remembers it lmk, i’ve searched for it but it hasn’t come up

suddenly having a lot of anxiety about my grades this year. i’ve tried not to think about them because if i did i would stress to the point where i considered seriously harming myself to the point where i’d have to take a break from the year. but i never told anyone that or anybody at the uni about my mental health in general so it won’t be considered in my grade. and if i graduate with a bad classification ill probably be fucked for a job or potential further study. fuck i spent so much energy just trying to coast so that i didn’t spiral and kill myself that i’ve probably ruined my life haha. fuckkkk

tracked everything today at least. hate myself but ig it’s a normal person intake not a binge. but that’s just an excuse really i know i need to change

way over my limit today.. har har… kill myself

i just cut my bangs but i’m cutting them again i want them gayer