Keep on being kind

To fully fall with faith,

Into the depths of the abyss,

And think that I'll be safe,

I want to act, I want to play,

I want to write all night and day,

But if I did and then did fail,

Struggled to swim, did dim and flail,

I'd stand to lose all that is good,

By a friend of a friend,

I don't know them that well,

Or not to that end,

But still they were kind,

Without needing to be,

And I was just glad,

The sun will one day lose it's flame,

And none will live to speak it's name,

So know that when all's said and done,

What mattered was that you had fun,

Nothing can survive in life,

And yet we throw ourselves to strife,

Sure, it's not wrong to want to live,

To find some meaning you can give,

But in between the search and struggle,

Buried deep beneath the rubble,

There is fun still to be had,

Is shallow to be sure,

But if each river was a fault,

None of us would endure,

A drizzle can brighten my day,

A drop can make it shine,

Sure it cannot make me whole,

Day tumbles into night,

Gold in obsidian hue,

The flower that did bloom on high,

Has gone to sleep anew,

Tomorrow it will bud again,

As flowers are to do,

Till then the soil be left to rest,

Consciousness and sanity,

That fills my heart with fear,

A test that if I fail I'd die,

A test for my career.

Only fifteen out of hundreds pass,

My heart says I'll do too,

So I'm stuck here feeling insane,

Thinking I'll join their crew.

I'd feel as if I'd been crowned king,

I feel it is my fate,

Torn between self doubt and hope,

I need my days of rest,

How else would I get mad,

How else would I feel wholly hollow,

Or supremely sad?

See if work is what fulfills me,

Then the rest must all be low,

And even if that isn't true,

Just a foot inside the door,

Nothing else,

Nothing more,

If I had just that one inch,

I'd make it work,

I'd never flinch,

How I wish I wasn't young,

Or with my years,

How did I end up,

You the sun and I Arcturus,

As you rise I fade away,

I, the night and you, the day,

So in darkness I must wonder,

How some claim this makes me fonder,

All it does is bring me pain,

Someone whom I look up to,

With revery and respect,

Told me that I'm talented,

And perform with effect,

But more than that he said it plain,

As if there was no doubt,

That I was made to play a part,

A hill,

A mountain top,

A journey that must one day stop,

So I hurry on with haste,

Keep a steady heady pace,

I see flowers,

Smell them sure,

But I hunger still for more,

Time runs out and I with it,

Life's so short,

I'm starting to think that beauty,

Is the wrong reason to write,

I want to make an awesome thing,

That keeps you up at night,

Something that invokes an awe,

So incredibly profound,

That you might have the simple thought,

That we should stick around.

But is that really okay?

Am I allowed to want,

For you and I to feel that way?

Or should I just be happy,

With a work that makes me mad,

Because all my words don't seem to work,

Fresh air fills my room,

Scarf it down with panicked breaths,

Awaiting further doom,

Lighting split my soul in two,

I flinched between the cracks,

This does not feel like freedom yet,

Who I hate as dogs do fleas,

Know that though you bother me,

That is all you'll ever be.

An itch,

A glitch,

A spot of pain,

Tired of running round and round,

All my sprints have brought me here,

Facing the music,