your boyfriend is a beast marked for death

sometimes there really is a single load bearing piece of information about a blogger that elucidates everything about their whole deal and recently for me it was learning that someone was from jersey. another time it was a prolonged history of concussions

Honestly if you say or do something strange, an employee probably WILL tell all their coworkers about it all day, however they’ll basically never remember it was you specifically and instead just a faceless “customer” amalgamation of every time someone said something to them. Plus you’re giving them enrichment and something to mutually bond over. So really you’re doing an important service by being a little awkward.

i hate when you have the best reaction photo saved but you cant find the right post to use it on

if you've ever gone on a romantic "date" at olive garden just block me rn i literally can't deal with you proshippers -_-

what

when you're there you're family

i'm your only friend (realizes that's statistically unlikely) i'm not your only friend (considers my positive qualities) but i'm a little glowing friend (suddenly gets cold feet) but really i'm not actually your friend (remembers to be confident in relationships) but i am

sometimes i have a dream that reveals such a humiliating desire i have that i genuinely lose a bit of respect for myself