˖ ‧ ᯓ ☦︎ ▒ . ❘❘❘     ──── / @omvangel was cute — a rookie through and through . fresh and fledgling .

it reminded ilya of his rookie years . back then , for him , being first overall in the draft was exactly what he needed to get promoted to alternate captain his second year . by the time he was twenty , he had already rose to captain position . it did not take much for him . ilya was a born leader . rallying the bears was where he excelled . this kid reminded him of the greenies that joined their roster . something about him makes ilya feel paternal , brotherly even . helping the opposing team was never his goal , but sometimes he wished that other people had been nicer to him back when he was their age . it was nice to try and be to others what sometimes he had wished he had for himself .

from the jump , the media claimed ilya “did not play well with others” . this claim followed him his entire career , still did . sometimes , ilya wonders if things would be different if they had been truthful — he loved to make friends . he craved connection with other players . they were the only ones who understood a modicum of his experience . when the boy smiles , ilya returns it with a goofy grin .      ────       ❛ my head is up . where is yours , rook ?  in gauthier’s ass ? ❜ 

mouth guard chewed to shit pops out like the toast in a toaster . clenched at the molded molars just by a canine . rotated around to further acquire more teeth marks . it's all so he won't giggle at the acquisition . they both know the answer to that . niklas was on the receiving end of that disappointment once , he never wants to experience it again .

ilya holds niklaus' respect , really , he does . yet the bias is heavy . rhys is the reason he is where he is now . there's no confidence in sharing the same possibility had he been beneath ilya instead .

there's something about it that's familiar though . seeing a little closer . finally dredging up a chuckle from the young forward . ilya is laughing with him , not at him . ❝ as if you w-wouldn't happily t-trade spots . ❞ shoulders loosen now . certain possibilities drop away to leave nothing more than the usual verbal pickage .

stick sways over to tap at ilya's shin , once , a slow second , then the last at the top of a skate . the sports channel panel will probably try and dissect their private moment on camera and fail , they always do . ❝ when w-we win ... you owe m.. me a drink . ❞

⋆˖ ‧ ᯓ ☦︎ ▒ . ❘❘❘    ────       /      @omvangel had some teeth on him , thank christ .

he bites back ,   and it made ilya grin his   shit eating grin   behind the clear cage of his helmet .  this was what he lived for .  this was what made hockey worth anything .    sure he was GOOD with the puck and when he hit , it packed a PUNCH .   but the banter made his blood rush .   it’s what made the game good .    while his confidence was exaggerated , that did not mean it wasn’t real .     ────    ❛ twenty - one ? you are child . ❜

he’s matter of fact , so much so he laughs with his words .  at twenty - nine ,   ilya was in his prime . not a kid , but not a fogy like some of the older players out there . he was untouchable . flipping his stick over ,   ilya nonchalantly scrapes the ice off the blade , the other firmly on the shaft . he was waving the metaphorical white flag   by getting the thing he could smack the other play with off the ice .   ────   ❛ how long have you been with your team ?  i don’t think i’ve played with you before . ❜

a twitch builds in lower eyelid . smack talking always made niklas feel bitchy . in the feeder league he could merely twist around and set fist to jaw . not to say most of them down there didn't bother . cutthroat exhaustion . thinking about it now feels like a humbling reminder . it's no longer a nameless face . it's the captain of boston .

he's right about one thing . they've never played before . it's the lynxes' first ever match-up against boston . yet there are familiar jerseys in the crowd . the sight springs a bit of ill tempered confidence . they haven't lost yet , he needs to stop treating it as such .

❝ since the start of the season . ❞ spoken slower now , cautious not to get tongue tied . tone levels to something suddenly tame . there are eyes on them . the principal . niklas knows better , knows to behave for rhys' sake . there's no shame in letting someone else handle the fight . so fantasizing on seeing that smug mug hit the boards will have to suffice . faux scenario brings a giddiness to his eyes .

glove plucks off , the opposite of the white flag . merely lifted to swipe visor clean . bunny toothed grin re-loosens the cautious hold of a stutter . ❝ l... let's keep our heads up t-tonight , yeah ? ❞

PLAYLIST ROULETTE ! ⤳ like this for me to put my personal playlist on shuffle and I'll make up a starter depending on what song comes up as motivation. you can specify what muse you want, or I'll pair them with the song too !

for the "i don't need your help" one

you can get lost.

i thought i told you i had this under control.

you never listen to me.

i was taking care of it.

leave me alone.

are you happy now?

you just stepped in and ruined it for me.

that was completely unnecessary and you know it.

i had it under control.

you didn't need to show up.

can't you let me handle my own shit?

i would have appreciated it if you asked first.

i had it handled!

you didn't need to do all that!

what part of "i don't need help" do you not understand?

they were about to give it to me before you showed up!

i had something going and you ruined it!

what, you mean you don't trust me to handle it myself?

you trained me better than this.

you can't just show up every time and save me.

what's the point in putting me out here if you're not going to let me do it on my own?

i thought you trusted me to take care of this by myself.

you taught me this.

i'm never going to forgive you for this.

that was uncalled for.

what happens when you're not here one day and i have to take care of things on my own?

how am i ever going to learn if you keep stepping in?

i'm not you.

for the "i'm just trying to help you" one

i heard you struggling.

i was just trying to help you.

and this is the thanks i get for trying to help?

things were getting out of hand. i had to step in.

you never would have done that by yourself.

it's okay to ask for help.

it's not that i don't trust you. i don't trust [them].

a minute longer and you'd be dead in there.

i had to make sure you were okay.

of course i trust you. this was never about trust.

i'm not going to risk your life like that!

i should have been there sooner.

if i'd only reached you faster.

a simple "thank you" would suffice.

you could thank me for saving your ass back there.

sure didn't seem like you had it under control.

things were getting out of hand, and i stepped in.

i'm in charge here, not you.

i'm not going to put your life at risk like that again.

we're done here.

i'm not arguing with you.

i saved your life, and this is how you repay me?

i just wanted to make sure you were okay.

maybe i crossed a line back there, sure, but i did it for you.

it's because i care about you.

of course you're capable. that was never up for debate.

you're not ready.

next time, let me handle it.

clearly you need more time before i let you do that alone.

  ⋆˖ ‧ ᯓ  ☦︎   ▒ .  ❘❘❘     ────    ilya will look at / @omvangel , and wink . it was so easy to push other people's buttons . 

❛  i  am just messing with you , kid . ❜     ────    it was clear he had pressed one of the buttons a little too hard . his batting lashes and verbal retreat was not something ilya was expecting . was this not part of hockey ? the pats of aggressiveness become friendly , the gloved hand settling gently on the other man’s shoulder . / the game got to him sometimes , you know ! & it was hard to imagine someone so timid on the ice . whatever words ilya spat out at other players would be chewed up and spit right back in his face . what a strange feeling to finally feel someone crumble … pity maybe . ( but for himself . ) the fight drained from niklas fast .  perhaps ilya was just disappointed that he did not take the bait . the fear tactics were part of why he was good at hockey . what was he supposed to do if he could not poke the bear and be poked back ? ilya questioned if he was able to exist on the rink without opposition . there is an apologetic grin as he changes from wicked to congenial .    ────  ❛  are you nervous ? is just scrimmage . ❜

for a split second , niklas can't decide which is worse . the sudden switch . or how he can look so damn sincere . for reasons unknown— a primal instinct —he really really wants to jab the end of his stick into the front end of ilya's skate . anything to make a picture perfect image stutter .

most of the heat , though , is merely left over embarrassment . stuttering in front of a top league shit talker is a current nightmare .

should have just smiled and laughed along . instead of furthering the hole he's digging .

❝ fuck off . ❞ finally comes out two seconds too late and sounding lame . he's not nervous . he's certainly not a kid , either . . . is what he would have said if ❝ I'm tw... twenty-one . ❞ didn't slip out instead , thick and stretched , practically a whine . doing nothing to help his case . to the point that he decides to bite down on his bottom lip and stare elsewhere .