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my wife is constantly mocking me for how lightly done I like my toast. “your hot bread is done,” she says to me. disgusting

one of these days i’m not even gonna put it in the toaster, just gonna breathe real hard on the bread for a minute and you’ll be like “wow this is perfectly done”

“thank you so much for warming up my bread for me honey, I’m so glad we’re married, I love you” I say to you every time your mean little ass makes toast for me