Anime Men as Omegas Because I Said So

ITACHI - When his baby is very... energetic.

The first rays of milky, morning sunlight filtered past the curtains, illuminating the chaos of your home in a way that artificial light could never manage. Toys, bottles, pillows, clothes— all of it was strewn onto every surface of the living room, curtesy of the little tornado you had brought into this world.

“Isn’t it lovely, Kouki?” Itachi said, wiggling a little orange toy for the infant in his arms. His voice was tired and hoarse, but your son was full of sunshine and giggles as he reached for the sparkling piece of plastic.

“Is he getting tired yet?” you asked, dragging your way across the house trying to clear a bit of floorspace.

“No,” he sighed. You groaned. “I didn’t know children this age were physically capable of staying awake for twenty hours straight.” Itachi bit his lip and sent you an anxious look from under impressive purple eyebags. “Should we take him to a mednin?”

“I don’t know…” You flopped down onto the floor at the base of the sofa, leaning back against Itachi’s legs.

“Maybe tomorrow, we can ask someone— or, well, I suppose that would be today, technically,” he corrected, nodding at the sunlight. “For now, though, you should get some sleep.”

“What? No!” you protested, spinning around and looking up at him. Kouki was still delighted by Itachi’s rhythmic shaking of the rattle. “Why should I sleep?”

“We should sleep in shifts,” he explained. “Like we’re on a mission.”

You considered his words and decided that while he did have a point, you couldn’t agree with his exact plan.

“You’re still post-partum, ‘tachi, if one of us is going to sleep, it should be you.”

“I’m fine.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. He pretended not to see the look. “Unless those purple bags are a fashion statement, you’re not fine— you’re exhausted.”

“So are you.”

You stared at each other, stuck at an impasse. Kouki’s giggling felt a little like you were being mocked.

And then, inspiration struck.

“Then… what about that playpen that Shisui got us?” You sat up straight, remembering the small circular pen that was currently folded somewhere in all the mess. “We could put Kouki in there to play and he’ll be totally safe if we want to lay down just outside the pen. We can rest and keep an eye on him at the same time!”

Itachi seemed hesitant. “It’s not a bad idea…”

“But?”

“Remember the first time we tried to get him to stay seated in a highchair?” You did. You wouldn’t ever be able to forget the vengeful screaming. “Or the crib incident? That time at the hospital? The oversized scarf?” You also remembered all of those, yes. “Kouki isn’t fond of his freedom being restricted.”

“This is different though,” you said, trying to convince yourself as much as you were trying to convince him. “A play pen is much larger than a highchair or a scarf. I mean, it’s worth a try, right?”

Once you’d secured Itachi’s agreement, you dug the playpen out from under a pile of laundry and set it up on the rug, filling it with Kouki’s favourite bouncy balls, cuddly animals, and a bunch of building blocks.

“Wow, Kouki, look at all these toys!” Itachi kept his voice light and playful as he brought Kouki over to the newly erected playpen. Kouki lit up at seeing all his favourites in one place and started to reach for them. Gently, Itachi put him down in the pen. “There…”

You both watched with bated breath as he crawled towards the balls, giggling as he bounced them a few times. You had just enough time to hope when Kouki started gathering the balls and then looking around like he was trying to get back to Itachi.

You could see the exact moment that he realised he was surrounded by a wall. There was one beat. Then a second. And then rage filled his tiny body.  

“Oh no.”

The screeching started.

Kouki threw himself at the flimsy wall, abandoning the balls and trying in vain to grab fistfuls of the slippery material, each failure only making his screams louder.

“No! No, no, no, no!” Kouki screeched his favourite word as Itachi hurried over to free him from his tiny baby prison.

“Alright, alright, Kouki, it’s alright.” Itachi lifted the ball of writhing violence into his arms and turned his back on the playpen.

The instant he was freed and back into the loose cradle of his oma’s arms, Kouki quieted. Then, he grabbed a fistful of Itachi’s hair and started playing with it, giggling happily like nothing had happened at all. Itachi didn’t try to remove the tiny fists yanking at his scalp. He looked as defeated as you felt.  

“Do you think Sasuke wants to babysit?”

KAKASHI - When his pre-heat suddenly gains a new symptom.

It was difficult to give meaningful gifts to someone as flighty as Kakashi, but you’d known him for a long time, and your relationship was… close, even if it defied a lot of the usual category markers. With years of experience under your belt, you knew how to give him sappy gifts without facing an immediate rejection and/or panic attack and had managed several years ago to get Kakashi to take a copy of your apartment key under the excuse of ‘safety’ and ‘convenience’ and ‘definitely no sappy life partner nonsense, I swear!’.

He always used the window, but the point remained that he had a key.

Which was why it was so strange to find him not at your window, nor letting himself in, but instead standing outside and knocking.

“Kakashi? What’s the— Oh. Hey kids.”

He wasn’t alone. Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto were standing with him. Only Naruto looked as energetic as normal, while Sasuke and Sakura seemed afflicted with red cheeks and noses, and a general air of exhaustion.

“We’re not kids! We’re ninja!” Naruto exclaimed, pointing at your face. You slapped the finger away, but it didn't deter him. “We just did a successful mission and everything!”

“Well,” you started, leaning on the doorframe, “despite the ethical conundrum, and the varying understanding of both definitions used by the general populace, legally, there’s no reason you can’t be both a ninja and a child.”

Naruto blinked at you. “What’s a ‘condrum’?”

“Never mind,” you sighed. “Hello, baby ninja.”

“That’s even worse!”

You looked at Kakashi questioningly, but he just stared back, panicked and helpless like a terrified puppy. You raised an eyebrow.

“The mission was that bad?”

“They’re sick,” he blurted out. “Sasuke and Sakura got sick on the mission.”

“It’s just a cold,” Sasuke said, shoving Kakashi’s hand, which had been on his shoulder, off of him. "Don't make a big deal out of it."

“Yeah, it’s okay, Kakashi sensei!” Sakura chirped, although her voice was hoarse in a way that made Kakashi wince. “We’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

Kakashi did not wring his hands, because he wasn’t the sort to do such a thing, but you got the impression that it was a close call.

Had he brought the pups here to… take care of them? That was sort of sweet.

“I see… well, colds are always aided with soup and tea and blankets, so why don’t you all come in.”

They all shuffled in at your words, some more eager than others.

“No one sits on the couch until they've had a shower!”

…

When the showers were had, at least for the pups, you and Kakashi bundled them up on the sofa, even Naruto who insisted on being included despite being completely healthy. You went to make soup while Kakashi...

He had actually fussed over them.

He re-tucked them in more times than you could count, he tended to even the most minor of bruise or scratch, and he put so much honey in their tea that Sasuke refused to drink it and you had to make him another cup.

It wasn't that you didn't know he was a bit of a mother hen, but you honestly believed he kept that part of himself hidden for almost everyone. To see it so out in the open with his students was jarring.

And now, as the sun set and all the baby ninjas had passed out in a puppy pile, you were cleaning the kitchen. Kakashi fresh from his own shower, was standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, watching his sleeping students like a hawk.

He was acting so strangely today! Had something happened while on their mission?

You approached Kakashi from behind, question forming on your lips, only for something you didn't expect to stop you in your tracks.

There was a deep, but quiet rumbling sound, and it was coming from Kakashi. It bubbled from his throat, reverberating through his chest and settling in his tummy. You could almost feel it, even though you weren't touching him at all.

Kakashi as purring.

And then, when you thought you couldn't be shocked any further today, the pleasant noise was joined by an even more pleasant smell, ever so gentle, wafting up freely only because of his recent shower and current lack of a mask. Fresh, like Kakashi's normal scent, a little static-y where his chakra blended in, but sweet, much sweeter than normal.

Kakashi was in pre-heat.

Fussing over loved ones was one of the symptoms, you knew that, but… you had never seen Kakashi quite like this. You slid up beside him.

“Guarding?” you asked. Kakashi tensed, and the purring stopped immediately. “That’s good. Pups that feel safe, heal faster. You’ll get them back into training in no time.”

Having provided him with a less sappy excuse for what he was doing, Kakashi relaxed again.

“Are they… alright to stay here?” he asked, likely suddenly realising that he had neglected to do so earlier.

“It’s fine,” you agreed, “but you aren’t leaving me here to look after them alone. Once they start to feel better, it won't remain peaceful. You have to stay and deal with that."

“Maa, I suppose I have time.”

“And you’re doing all their laundry," you continued, "including all the clothes they’ve borrowed from me to sleep in.”

“Sure.”

“And you’re paying for my food bill this week.”

“Hmm… I’ll think about that one.”

SHINO - When his toddler is clingy.

“Melon, yoghurt, toilet paper, rice…” Shino read off the list in his hand. “Do we need anything else?”

“I think that’s it.”

Shino nodded and slipped the list into one of the many pockets of his coat.

“I won’t be long, I’ll just—”

“Oma?”

Shihori toddled over, looking unsure, her colouring abandoned at the coffee table behind her.

“Oma’s just going to run to the shops, baby,” you explained, scooping her up in your arms. “He needs to get you some more yoghurt for breakfast tomorrow. He’s getting your favourite strawberry one, isn’t that right, oma?”

Shino nodded, moving to the entry to put his shoes on.

“I will return shortly.”

The look on Shihori’s face, framed by her head of wild, black hair, made it clear that she was not a fan of this plan.  

“Oma, stay,” was the only thing she said, holding out a hand towards him. Shino faltered; he wasn’t good at denying your baby.

“Oma is super fast— he’ll be back before you know it, I promise!” You tried to keep your voice chipper. Normally you all went together as a family, but she was still recovering from an illness and you weren’t comfortable letting her leave the house just yet. The change in routine had clearly upset her more than you’d predicted. “Come on, why don’t we go make a drawing for when oma gets back? We can get the glitter!”

But not even glitter was enough to lift her spirits. Shihori’s bottom lip wobbled. You had been a parent long enough to sense the oncoming tears. You could see your mate’s resolve quickly crumbling.

“Alright, alright, oma’ll stay,” you agreed, passing Shihori into Shino’s arms. She immediately latched onto his clothes and buried her face into his chest. Shino cradled her firmly and pressed a kiss to her head.

“Okay. Stay. Love you, oma.” Shino melted at the adorable declaration. You didn’t blame him; you were struggling to keep the cooing at bay yourself.  

“I’ll quickly head out and grab the stuff instead,” you said, going to slip on your shoes. “Will you be alright to—”

“Appa?” Shihori hit you with her wide-eyed gaze. “Appa, stay.”

Oh. Oh dear.

“Appa is going to the shops,” Shino explained. “Why? Because our household cannot run without supplies and you asked me to stay.”

“No,” she denied, shaking her head. “Appa stay. Why?” Her face scrunched up and big, fat tears leaked from her eyes. “Why? Why? Appa, love you. Stay!”

There was a pain in your chest, and you immediately abandoned your shoes to go to her side, you wiped her tears as they fell, and she left one hand attached to Shino and while her other one quickly latched onto you.

“Shh, it’s alright, darling, I’ll stay, I promise.”

The comfort of her parents worked wonders in getting her to calm down, but it didn’t solve your shopping problem. To think such powerful shinobi were trapped here at the whims of the most adorable toddler in all the lands.

You sighed and wrapped your family in a group hug. Shihori squirmed happily. You had never known her to reject a cuddle like the other toddlers you knew.

“I’ll make a clone to go shopping as soon as she’s distracted,” you murmured in Shino’s ear.