talk wordy to me

My main goal in life is to be Richard Castle. Aw damn, I’ve been watching too much television this holiday season…

I already am Richard Castle, but with a less well-defined jaw, so you're too late. Unless you get plastic surgery and come out of it with a more defined jaw than me, because then you've got me beat. I also don't have a Kate Beckett to be my counterpart, unfortunately. So maybe I'm Castle pre-Kate.

So…Christmas was fucking boring this year. My parents sent me new skates, at least.

Maybe you should've figured out a way to make it less boring. Go try out your skates and call today Late Christmas. The day itself is pretty much devoid of its original meaning for most people anyway, so you're safe. Be sure to do some pretty little spins in my name since I've been kind enough to drop a wisdom bomb on your head. Merry Christmas to you, no pictures please.

Would you like a smoke? 

There are over 70 known carcinogens found in mainstream smoke and secondhand smoke. Those little things that cause cancer, y'know? Very bad for you. I'm sure you've heard it a million times. But you've got to ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk? Because I do. So in short, yes. I would like a smoke.

Christmas is over and I feel like I have a holiday hangover. At least now I don’t have to stress about sending my parents anything.

Are you sure that's not a real hangover? They feel sort of the same, emotionally. Gotta drag your feet through both and maybe, depending on your personality, hang your head over the edge of a toilet for a while. It can be very helpful whether you actually feel sick or not. You're so disgusted with your surroundings that you forget to feel disgusted with yourself.

Have you heard of this happening to anyone before?

As a matter of fact, I have. It happened to my great-uncle. He was never the same again. He'd break down and mutter to himself about the girl with the Kit Kat mouth every day until the day he died. "Give me a break," he'd tell her, the vaguest of memories. She never did.

Well then, take out the drinks, so we can be more apt to let loose.

You know where I am and you know your way around my kitchen, help yourself. I'm lazy and already a little buzzed, so.

What if you feel like you're falling in love while you're eating chocolate? Does it double the effects? Loverdose imminent. Seems like a dangerous practice, if you ask me.

Well, would you?

Huh. If you're desperate enough to try to dare me into it, who am I to... not allow myself to be dared?

I find certain things not worth participating in, but rather best in terms of viewing from a different angle. Sometimes the participation is worth it, other times the observation is what is.

Hm. Just out of curiosity, would you call participation in an ugly Christmas sweater party... illogical?

Just wanted a taker, not like you’d be up for it.

I can't tell whether that's a dare or not. Or whether I should be offended or not by the assumption.