eat ass

I learn that hating men

for what they could do         would do

is much easier 

than hating them for what they have 

I see stars not in eyes 

But in the empty held between chapped lips

Head back they swarm

Your tongue a lithe lantern 

A horizon to galaxies

I see them kiss you

Skilled divers launch from your cupid’s bow

They shudder the calm pool you provide

Creating the most beautiful night sky

As you gasp for air

Shame sighed your name last night

Used to be

Unravel false gods who live in my mind

Watch wings burn

Made of bone I stole

From past lives I lived in secret

Lovers I used to have

My own false gods

Forgive me for my mothers illness

That was passed to me

In bloody hands

That shake

When they give and receive

Both of which they fail

To do well

Forgive me of my mothers anger 

It’s been sewn into my clothes 

Since the day i was born

Slowly

Carefully

With the love she knew best 

Forgive me for my mothers love

Which smothered me

In gravy born from the meat of her father

And my own

They helped in ways they do not know

As men often fail to notice the intricacies

Of mother and daughters

How much we share

In blood and tears

The hatred we feel unexplainable

Our minds a mixing pot

Of mental illness

I fall in love with the idea of a man

Over and over

The idea of how he would love

Me as if he ever did to begin with

The idea of how he would hold

The smallest the biggest parts 

Of me

As if he could even find them

The idea of how he would cherish my body 

How he would cherish my laugh

My teeth my tongue my love

My lungs my liver

The idea of being 

Cherished 

Grows inside me stronger

Than anything i’ve ever known