A nightmare

@nobilitylost​ II Shenyi and Cyrus ‘ some days you will breathe and it will be enough ’

     His head lays upon their lap, their fingers in his hair as he feels his body collapsing into the comfort of their touch. “How can you be so sure?” Cyrus asks, lips trembling as he hides his features against the elder’s thigh, blocking the light out as he tries to imagine what his brother most be enduring, “how can it possibly be enough when I have done nothing? I should be doing something if I’m still breathing shouldn’t I? I have to do something and yet here I sit, unable to do anything.” He whispers, pulling himself back from their comforting touch, from the safety that he has decided resides in their arms. “What if I can’t even breathe? What if I suffocate on my own inability to live, my own cowardice is killing me Shenyi and you’re saying it is okay to simply breathe? How? It can’t be.” Cyrus refutes as he pushes himself up further onto his knees, grass stains have all but worn through the knees of his pants, porcelain skin tarnished a dull emerald as he shakes his head and looks down at his own hands, those same hands that are currently bathed in sunlight. “How can I breathe when Silas cannot? How is it fair for me to keep living when I left him to die?”

what color is your love language ?

your result: Mulberry

Keywords: romance, slow-burning, devotion

     The love of yearning, of candlelit nights spent staring longingly at your lover’s hands or of cramping your own with the effort of writing the perfect love letter. Yours is the love that transcends time, expectations, and patience. When you’re in love with somebody, you give them your whole heart. An extremely loyal, thoughtful, and introspective person. Your ideal date may involve simply opening a bottle of wine and reveling in the company of your favorite person. Voted most likely to fall in love with somebody who your soul remembers from a past life.

❝ ☠  There were things about the medium that like precious treasures she kept hidden, secrets that made people afraid of her and Vanessa is no stranger to being abandoned when secrets are revealed. So she chooses to hold them close. Being in the space didn’t bother her as much as she thought it would, after all the demons that plague her often protect the person that is to rule over them. Entities wouldn’t dare attempt to step on the toes of those directly born from evil. Truthfully she wanted to make sure Dorian was safe. A man that made her cheeks flush and little flutters in her chest whenever he would look at her a certain way. When he is back in view, relief envelopes her entire being and she does nothing but remain by his side, happily pulling his jacket closed over her shoulders. “It’s fine, it’s fine. I just didn’t see you and got scared.” She admits, ignoring how his touch makes her cheeks burn and internally she groans at just how his simple touch affects her so. “I’m sorry for yelling at you.” Turning, she lets her head tilt as she observes the mist materializing a confused look on her expression.

Feeling his touch pulling her to safety, she relents without hesitation but keeping an eye out for the spirits that had begun their curious gathering to see what exactly the two people with beating hearts were up to. “A recent victim it seems,” she mumbles to herself as the mist that drew her attention begins to take shape. “If anything this is more terrifying to me because you can’t see. Or rather she doesn’t want you to see.” A woman’s form takes shape and Vanessa isn’t startled in the slightest when she sees the hollowed out eyes, tattered clothing and scratches to the apparition’s skin - what does surprise her is the fact that the victim resembles her. “Is that a promise senpai?” cooing at him she steps from behind him, giving him a reassuring squeeze to his fingers. The woman reaches her hand out to Vanessa and she walks towards it, slowly lifting her hand herself. “I’m going to let her borrow my body so she can help. Remember the last time this happened? If you ever get too afraid, just call my name and i’ll come back. I promise.” shooting him a gentle smile over her shoulder, Vanessa allows her fingers to intertwine with the spirits and instantly is she thrown back, the wind knocked from her lungs.

Possession never gets easier for the medium - each time she physically feels her soul willingly move to the passengers seat as another energy settles within her body, adapting and caressing her memories as they shift over to accommodate another. It takes about five minutes for the evolution and Vanessa comes to with a strong gasp, bolting upright. It takes her awhile to realize that her body is functioning, flexing her toes, wiggling her fingers and using now live eyes to take in her scenery. When she spots Dorian she blinks in surprise. “You’re going to help me, aren’t you?” The woman asks with Vanessa’s voice and she stands, smoothing out the wrinkles in her clothing. “I can take you to where I was buried with the other two girls.”

     Dorian can’t help but chuckle, it’s a nervous habit he’s picked up over the years, laugh in the face of danger right? “Don’t worry about it, I deserved it anyways for being an idiot.” He mutters, watching as she looks at something he can’t see and a part of him is relieved he can’t while the other wishes he could, at least something he can see is something he can fight… right? The detective can see the hesitation in Vanessa’s form, the tension in her shoulders, Charlie has told him many things about spirit possession, about how he will not let anyone take him over for the mere terror it strikes within him. Dorian can only imagine what Vanessa must be feeling, what she must be going through as he chews upon the inside of his cheek. “Y-yeah,” he doesn’t mean for it to come out in a stutter but the memories of the last time she did this flood him, his stomach flipping uneasily. But the detective is quick to nod as he takes a deep breath in, “just promise me you’ll be safe okay?” His hand leaves the small of her back only for them to return a moment later, holding her steady, grey hues filling with worry half tempted to call her name already.

     The medium gasps, Dorian right beside her now as he looks her over, trying to make sure she’s okay, his stomach clenching nervously as he fidgets. “Hey are you o--,” but his words aren’t quite finished as Vanessa wiggles her fingers and toes, almost as if she’s testing them, making sure they work and it’s then that he knows the possession was successful. His hand falls from her back as he takes a step away, giving the spirit a moment to adjust to their new body before her gaze is falling upon him, almost as if startled to see him. It would be comical to him at any other time, but there isn’t a moment to waste as he nods his head, Vanessa’s voice filling the room as the spirit smooths their clothing out. “I am,” Dorian replies slowly, his lips parting about to ask if she had seen her attacker when the woman speaks up. Grey hues widen and his stomach plummets, “the other two?” There was more than one? This sick bastard had killed three women!? He wants to punch the wall, wants to scream and curse but most of all he wants to find this man and wrap his hands around their throat, strangle them and make them suffer just like they made all their victims suffer.

Nuzzled against Hansol, Benz smiled as the other took his request and began speaking more about the stars above. His voice was soothing as Benz breathed in his shirt, fingers lightly trailing over the fabric and nodding along as Hansol spoke. He knew he managed to mumble a couple more than likely incoherent questions before he couldn’t fight it anymore and sleep ultimately took over. One battle he couldn’t quite win, though it didn’t feel like such a loss considering where he was, tucked away safe and sound in Hansol’s arms under a clear night sky.

Once he stirred though, there was a part of him that almost felt guilty for dozing off—not that he could help it, and he knew Hansol didn’t mind. It was just that part of Benz that didn’t want to waste his time with Hansol by sleeping it away. “Mm… way too early.” Benz let his eyes fall shut again for a moment, a smile gracing his lips both at the fact that Hansol was indeed still there, and the feeling of the other’s fingers brushing through his hair. His eyes fluttered open at his words though and he rolled onto his back as Hansol sat up. “I can still sleep. I don’t work today, so I’ve got plenty of time to sleep.” Benz stretched his arms over his head before pushing himself up to sit as well. “I think I definitely need this old man to come tuck me in.” Untangling himself from the blankets, he got back on his feet, bringing one of them with him and draping it around his shoulders, stumbling ever so slightly with a chuckle before offering Hansol his hands to get up.

“Just…” Benz inhaled deeply, exhaling through his nose with a smirk. “Distraction or not, come over. Stay. You can meet Mali. She’s a sweetheart, I promise. Unless you have allergies to cats? Do you have allergies?” He wasn’t sure if Hansol’s biological makeup even allowed him to have allergies, but either way, it didn’t hurt to give a heads up. “I can sleep for a couple more hours, and you can get some rest too. Some time to relax.” Thinking back on how this night started, teasing about it being a date, it was almost funny how it had actually sort of taken that turn. Still holding Hansol’s hands, he let them sway between them. “If you really don’t wanna stay, you don’t have to. But I would love it if you did.” Benz grinned. “I promise I’m not trying to pressure you. I just want you to be comfortable.” He leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to the other’s cheek. Then, he pulled away just enough to find his lips instead. Another gentle kiss. “Come on,” Benz practically whispered against his lips before pulling away to meet his bright eyes, giving his hands a squeeze. After all, he did say he’d tuck him in. 

The whole way back to his apartment, Benz questioned himself again. Whether or not he should more or less attach himself to Hansol like he had over the course of the night. If they should talk more. About them. About what was troubling Hansol’s mind. If Benz could stay awake long enough, maybe he’d try to figure out a way to bring it up. Unlocking the door to his apartment, he stepped in and hit the light switch, quick to turn back around and extend a hand towards Hansol. “You can come in. Mi casa es su casa.” He smiled. Thankfully, he didn’t have much of a mess other than some papers and textbooks piled on the kitchen table from his paramedic training, along with an empty mug he’d had tea in. And the blanket he’d had strewn on the sofa, which was where Mali seemed to crash, a ball of black fur all curled up.

     Hansol couldn’t help the chuckle that left him as he watched Benz drape one of the blankets around their shoulders, they looked comfortable, more than comfortable and it was adorable. His hand gripped the younger’s own as they helped him up and he slowly began to pack everything up that he’d brought with him, folding the blankets and putting them inside the basket as he slung it over his arm. “Mali? That’s a cute name,” the vampire chuckled, shaking his head at their concern, “no I’ve never come across anything that I’ve been allergic to,” though he couldn’t help but furrow his brow in thought. Was his species allergic to anything? The lore of garlic and stakes had him chuckling, sure anyone would die from being impaled in the heart, garlic though didn’t repel him, he just didn’t care too much for the smell; personal taste and all. Benz’s lips pressed to his cheek and then his own lips, pulling him from his thoughts as their hands swung together and he smiled softly, easily returning kiss as he hummed. “Well when you say it like that, it leaves me no choice but to come over now doesn’t it? Besides I can’t get Mali’s hopes up now can I?” He laughed, easily walking back with them as he stroked his thumb over the back of their knuckles, listening to them talk as he answered questions and asked some of his own. It had been a while since they’d merely had time to just do this, a while to simply let time take over and bring them closer together.

even for someone like hyunshik, life does get tauntingly repetitive and simply boring at times & for him, such course in life would drive him mad ( in the loosest sense of the word in his case. ) so he has created ways to keep himself entertained in those tedious times ; spread his connections around different fields in the city ( and country) to see what those worlds, so different from his, have to offer. and while pulling  so many strings at the same time does increase his exposure for unwanted eyes ( those with too much vigilance ) – he can not stop himself from adding that thrill to his life. as long as he does not get too deep into those webs, his secrets will lay hidden. he has had years and years to perfect the deception.

the building has a faint smell of musty hanging in the air ;  a scent he has grown familiar during the years. he does not enjoy it but has learnt how to… appreciate, in a way – it is a sign of continuance, of people within the building settling for their parts and rarely questioning their positions. so, when the chief’s number lighted up the screen of phones few days prior, he couldn’t find it in himself to refuse an offer for more consultations ; a lovely way of wasting time, he has realised. ( and truly, it is fascinating to see case files – pictures and descriptions  of people fallen victims for crimes many would consider macabre ; occasionally even coming across familiar names and faces. the way it sparks something within him, the familiar sense of power. )  

hyunshik can not contain a mild form of surprise being evident on his face when the chief has decided to change things up a bit from usual ; most of the time, hyunshik is asked to help a larger group of people, the work usually not taking much of his time. but this time, the chief gives him a quick overall of the investigation at hand, before disappearing  for brief moment  – and soon after, he finds himself standing face-to-face with an unknown male. or, perhaps unknown is not truly the most honest narration ; he has seen the male before, has caught his gaze on him ( and for the first few times, it grew a small nest of suspicion under his skin, though it was quick to dissolve. )   — hyunshik won’t hide a light, amused smile forming on his lips as he hears the male finish up the chief’s words. a surprise, both pleasant and tiniest bit unsettling in his mind, he glances at the oldest man ( curious of the reaction this detective might have pulled out of them ) before returning his gaze on him. 

“oh hyunshik”, he proceeds to introduce himself, despite the obvious knowledge the other already has. he offers yet another, polite this time, smile as he takes the offered hand, bowing his head the slightest in greeting ; “it is lovely to meet you, dorian”, he says, voice laced with a hint of playfulness. “i would beg to differ; i am here to assist you”, he corrects with a small chuckle, “so please, do not hesitate to ask for my help. i am happy to help in all the ways i am capable of. hopefully that will bring the wanted conclusion to your case.” hyunshik only pays attention to the chief briefly, as he lets a more cold, yet still oddly pleasant smile draw itself onto his lips, “if you would kindly excuse us, chief. i do not want to take any more of anyone’s time than necessary, so i would like to settle somewhere and go through the case in more detail with detective chae”, he glances at the said man, “shall we?” 

     Dorian would like to say that he wasn’t one to become easily giddy, that he did pride himself on his own sense of professionalism and that his heart wasn’t racing with excitement at that very moment. But that would be a lie as he watched them, taking their hand in his own as he too bowed his head lightly before he forced himself to clear his throat, composing himself. He could see the chief’s brow raising higher and higher at his actions, never had Dorian been so excited to meet someone, let alone a psychologist. Yet he couldn’t help but to have grown more intrigued by the other the longer they were around. Always coming and going, always seeing them but never talking, he hadn’t lied when he made mention to them being a near celebrity around the precinct. He couldn’t remember the number of times him and his colleagues had placed bets on just who would get to meet the other first, whether or not they were seeing someone, if they were straight, gay, or even neither.

     His smile only grew wider as they introduced themselves and he couldn’t help but shake his head, “be careful, if you say things like that, I’ll be asking for your help quite a lot. Not to say I can’t do my job on my own, but to have someone as revered as you helping out on a case, I mean who wouldn’t jump at that opportunity.” Dorian praised, the chief’s head shaking slightly as they rolled their eyes, “okay well if you’re done going all sparkly twinkle eyes at the Doctor, perhaps you’d like to start investigating the case, or would you like to ask him for his autograph next?” The old man’s words were gruff, a hint of amusement hiding behind them as Dorian snorted softly, eyeing the pudgy man, “don’t tempt me chief.” Laughter spilled into the room from the both of them as the chief nodded his head, “sure, sure go right ahead. Go ahead and just talk in here, I’m taking the rest of the day, the wife’s been nagging me to see the doctor about that cough, told her it was nothing but… women.” He grumbled under his breath, tossing his hands up in the air in exasperation before he bid the two men goodbye, grabbing his battered gray coat, threads fraying from where buttons used to be as he pulled it around himself, unable to close it properly before he limped out the door.

it burns at his cheeks.  embarrassment in being caught ogling at the dj throughout the night, and especially being singled out as he was.  but he tries to not think things over, reminding himself that it’s likely they’ve encountered it before, making a mental note to avoid the god sitting at the bar and how out of place he appears.  he tries to not let his mind wander, but it’s as though he no longer has control over his own thoughts as he stares down at the nearly finished drink before him.

but the voice catches him off guard, and he thinks to himself about how he should have noticed someone approaching him, especially one approaching him on the side he could see.  but he keeps his right side turned away, barely moving his head to glance at the male that’s taken a seat next to him.  it’s for a moment he realizes, the lights did little to highlight how breath-taking the man before him truly appears, and he can’t help the way his eyes follow the line of glitter stretching across his skin.

yet he pauses again when a hand is offered to him, fighting with himself for a mere moment until he’s letting go of his drink, wiping the remaining condensation from his skin and taking it in his own–awkwardly might he add, and he worries for a moment as he has to turn the rest of the way to greet the other properly.  he worries knowing that his eyes and prosthetics are visible, many others liking to turn their own eyes away from him once they notice how broken he is, regardless of how he tries to hide it.

“jihun.  and there’s no need.”  he struggles with forming words, and it’s odd for him–normally the god is stubborn, confident in his own words and how he can respond so quickly despite how he struggles with his own memory now.  but there’s something about the other in front of him that has him pausing, taking a moment to think.

“i was nearly finished with it anyways.”

     He watches them, it’s almost as if they had hoped to not be noticed, to not be caught and he can’t help but wonder why? There are many men that look at him they way this one has, though he wonders if it’s perhaps because of their sexuality? Were they embarrassed? Were they annoyed? Hansol holds his hand out a moment longer, thinking they won’t take it when they hesitate, his smiling falling slightly before they do and he’s grinning just as brightly as before. They turn slowly and he can feel the fumble of their fingers together, feel the awkwardness in the way they hold his hand and chuckles gently, gripping it firmly for the both of them when he sees their features fully. Amethyst hues take in the sight of them, one red and one grey eye, his gaze lowering as he sees the prosthetics, the way they hold themselves as he smiles warmly. “It’s nice to meet you Jihun,” but he doesn’t let their hand go, not yet as he shakes his head. “Are you sure? I don’t mind, besides, who else will keep me company if you leave? No one wants to talk to me.” He lies, of course there are people who would like to talk to him but there’s something about this man, something in the lines of their face that draws him in as he lets their hand go and watches as the bartender comes toward them. He orders a water for himself before he points to their glass, “you don’t have to drink it.” The vampire assures as the bartender nods their head and walks off, his body leaning forward toward the counter as he stretches his arms out and groans quietly.

      There is this moment, where Basil rests his head against his stomach and Enoch’s hands find solace in gently touching the edges of the male’s hair. He speaks but it takes several moments for him to register them.  Enoch was complicated in many ways, oftentimes, he never felt right about himself  - he locked himself away and yet, it’s where with worry dressing him, that he feels those walls falling but was it safe with someone like basil ?  “ Trust me when I say i’ve seen death a lot and this, isn’t it “ He was pale and daunt and always ill himself but tonight not of his worry was within himself, it was on the male and when nudity takes the room. He can’t help the way his eyes dance, slowly, over the male’s body. He wanted to touch it, feel the way Basil’s skin was - was it smooth? rough? a mixture of both? He’s all too aware of the hunger inside him. Join me if you want to help me so badly 

       He’s thoughtless, weighted down by desire, by confusion - by the need to help and that’s the reason he justifies the way his hands find the zipper of his jeans, edges it down before undoing the button and allowing his jeans to drop, he’s bare beneath as well, short following suit and where Enoch would question the appearance of his body, was it up to standards? was it nice? none of it mattered, he cared very little as he lowers himself across from the other, the water shakes as well, the floor would need a towel but it’s the last thing on his mind. Where was his head? he supposed caught between fear and amazement.   “ i have epilepsy. “ it comes out with regret, he’s always regretted his condition as if he had a say in the flaws of his mind.   “ it’s why i look close to death today… but that besides the point, i don’t do well with stress Basil. i don’t mind helping you, opposite actually but i need to know what you do for a living? why is it normal for you? “

     His eyes linger upon Enoch’s features, reading, watching them as they contemplate their next actions. There’s something behind their eyes, as if they’re debating amongst themselves internally. He wants to dip his fingers into their mind and feel it, to open their head so he can watch their thoughts like an old black and white film, the reels turning as the projector casts them upon the screen ahead. But he has to settle for this, has to settle for simply watching and deciphering their actions himself. It’s not long before the other’s pants are on the floor, their body exposed and he looks them over slowly, lets his eyes travel from the dips of their collarbones to the thin, almost frighteningly thin body and down between their legs. He does not leer, does not make lewd sounds nor gestures for Enoch is art, he is a porcelain creation and Basil wants to handle him with the utmost care. Words are not needed as he finally tips his head back and lets it rest against the edge of the tub, his eyes closing as he feels the water rising, hears the gentle sloshing of it over the edge and onto the floor as he sighs quietly.

     They’re in the tub together now, his legs stretching out as he lets them lay beneath Enoch’s own and he chuckles lightly. “Epilepsy?” There is nothing funny about it but he feels his lips lilt, Basil works with toxins, works with poisonous herbs that can induce such things and yet there is no cure for it. There is no cure for what plagues the younger, there are remedies to help lessen them, but there is no true cure and it’s almost like a slap in the face as he keep his head tipped back. “Then perhaps I shouldn’t tell you what I do, if you don’t handle it well, what I say will only make you stress more. Besides, I’ll be gone tomorrow, I’m sorry for showing up on your doorstep but you’re the only one I trust to help me…” Its only then that he picks his head back up and looks across the tub toward them, his gaze searching their own before he lets his head loll upon his shoulder, hair obstructing his features.

            “ We’re friends, you’re supposed to tell me things. “  voice lacks the usual sunbeam, instead he’s an ocean, tugged into chaos -  he feels left out, burdened. Loyalty, truthfulness were all elements which raised the small witch. Naivety is pondered for a moment, perhaps he was too soft / too easily trusting of the people with good smiles and gestures of attention. He feels propelled in a victim, brought forward by his frameshifting back.  “ but you didn’t and i don’t - I don’t know why.”  @oleandercrowns​  

     Her lips press together as she watches the boy, feels the heaviness, hears the hurt upon their tongue like they’ve sliced their own lips with their words, crimson spilling forth with every breath. She can feel their heart as it breaks within their chest and for a moment Rei wants to reach out and soothe it, to cup the beating organ in her hands and bring it to her lips, to kiss it until it stills it’s quivering. But she merely reaches out and cups the boy’s features with a delicate palm, thumb brushing across stardust kissed cheeks as she lowers her gaze, “I’m sorry, I didn’t think it was important. I didn’t want to burden you with something else.” Rei’s words are almost motherly as she watches them, she feels no familial bond but there’s a pull in her chest that makes the familiar pull them closer against her chest as she wraps her arms around the boy’s lithe frame. “Forgive me?”