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There are so many hot picture captions/memes on Tumblr about hotwifing, cuckolding, the stag and vixen lifestyles, and all the other forms of alternative relationship arrangements we get out perverted and kinky selves into.

But you know what bothers me sometimes? 

How our perceptions and expectations about these arrangements can get skewed without us even recognizing it. 

Expectations for what it’s all like, what it should be like, how it happens, how often it happens, why it happens…all those expectations get influenced by the things we immerse ourselves in. 

This is especially the case for people who are new to the lifestyles or who are looking to get into the lifestyles.

Simply put, the eroticism and sexiness of hotwifing images/memes we see on Tumblr notwithstanding, they leave out some of the realities to it all. 

Sometimes though, it’s good to be reminded of the realities, and that’s what this post is all about. 

For example, you’ll never come across a picture like this…

…with a caption on it that says something like, “ “Honey I just got back from my date with another man, and he was a TERRIBLE kisser. I didn’t enjoy it at all.”

Or perhaps one like this…

Or how about one that conveys just how common it is to get all ready and excited for your first in-person meet, only to have the guy be a faker or flake…

We don’t see things like this because it’s not sexy to see or think about. We only reblog things that stoke our desires. And that’s normal for the most part. After all, sex isn’t the only thing that “sells”…SEXY does too. 

Don’t get me wrong though. I’m not saying the hotwifing lifestyle can’t be enjoyable or sexy or pleasurable beyond your wildest imagination, because it can. It can one of the most fulfilling journeys a couple can take together in their entire life. 

It just sometimes helps to be reminded every now and again that if it all doesn’t go down or happen like you read about in most online hotwifing stories or see in the hotwife pictures/memes,…DON’T WORRY…IT’S ALL NORMAL!

Nothing is wrong with you, or your partner, or your relationship, or your experience. You’re most likely not doing anything wrong. Navigating the lifestyle can be difficult and frustrating at times, and it comes with tons of challenges. 

So if at any point, you run into a challenge or a setback or have a negative experience along the way, remember that it comes with the territory and you shouldn’t fret too much about it. But most importantly…

Don’t be afraid to share your “negative” experiences with the online community! It can help you and it can help others to know that living out this lifestyle in reality is a bit different than living it out in fantasy. That’s why…