.oOo.oOo.

to learn from

but insecurities

to forever

want to incite

your emotions

even if it

means

relinquishing

that you want me,

that you are into me,

when you 

fuck me

and cum inside me

but never 

give me attention for 

My feminine needs?

the worst part is 

now wrinkled

from our tireless movements

slathered in

white and shattered gray.

And the thin blanket 

that once 

entwined two bodies together,

peeled away 

forgotten

like dead skin.

like fresh soil

and excrements,

damp from the sweats

and tears

of 

what could have been

if we laid there 

dreaming 

smells of petrichor

it’s sweet

but deceiving

it’s nostalgic 

but screaming

it’s cleansing

but bleeding 

searching for the essence

of reminiscence

which is essential

for the senses

at the expense

i dont need doors to 

decide

whether my path will be opened or closed

but please

close the door behind me

I fucking hate this draft

of the chills of the past

that 

whisper the sins 

that I never meant to 

commit

first for skin

second for the flesh 

the faintest idea

of

how much I wanna drink 

the words 

what dopamine

does to you clean

it’s sad really

how my mind

forgets easily of the unseen

internal screams

of anger and abuse

searching for the moment of truth

‘I like you’ slips off my tongue

like it wasn’t meant to

ever belong to you

and it’s sad really

what ecstasy

I tasted from you

like pulling silk out of my hair

I can’t tell the difference between

pain and self-care

tender madness

softly like a peach fuzz

I’m singing the wilhelm scream

will you come back?

I ask god

but something about it ain’t right

like angels being sent to hell

I fall back to reality

it’s sad really

how I care so much

for something that’s so out of touch