classic

harry: ............... leave ember

harry: kick em out kody we dont need them

ember: i started this group chat, harry, don't even think about it

ember: did you stick a wick in his asshole and try to light that like a candle?

rory: yeah, figured i could pop him off like an m80 it didnt work too well

rory: stellar wax though

kody: wheres the leave group button

harry: i'm right here you know wtf fight me

harry: yes very tragic i know yet i still see no condolences for my ass thanks guys

ember: okay let's fight sweetie(:

ember: was it scented at least? strawberry sunshine? unicorn shit? oranges and harry's sexuality?

rory: the scent of feminine tears. or maybe that was from harry.. might've been gingerbread

kody: unicef should print off this conversation and show it to those starving ethiopian kids

harry: one why do you guys insist on group chats

harry: second do you know how much waxing hurts

ember: harry's not just gay, he is the embodiment of gay

ember: do you know how much waxing hurts, harry? rory does harry have asshole hair anymore?

rory: nah we were trying some kinky candle shit the other day and long story short: hair burns.

rory: quickly.

kody: you know actually i do know how much waxing hurts but that is a story for another day

ember: so how are the assholes doing

ember: are you remembering to get yourselves bleached every once in a while

rory: guys... shit wow this is tough. i don't know how to say this, i've literally been fucked up over this for days.. but... i think harry might be gay. :/

rory: i have naturally light asshole hair though so we're good other than that :)

kody: this is news to everyone how will mum ever cope with this

Ember: exactly, which i will use to my advantage as i rip you apart (~:

Ember: i'm glad you agree with me, we can probably agree that we both have sibling problems

Kody: uh not unless i run away from the fight and my legs are much longer than yours i can get out of there faster than you can throw the first hit

Ember: kody, i'll fight you

Ember: if i had to pick one person....

Ember: lux (~:

Kody: if i took on your boyfriend i can take you on but youre a lady and i cant hit a lady

Kody: im not even going to question that answer because theres nothing to question

Ember: yes kodster a good one

Ember: i really hope you were making a joke, because if you weren't that's not funny and i will hunt you down (that wasn't a joke)

Ember: i haven't fuckin killed anyone, and if i did, you'd know

Kody: pardon me maam im going to need you to calm down

Kody: heres a fun question if you had to pick one person you love to kill who would it be

Ember: fuck i just laughed so hard, that was a good one kody. gonna take a picture of that and keep it so i can remember how demonic he is

Ember:i don't go around killing people kody how rude

Kody: a good one huh

Kody: you say that as if i was making a joke ( i wasnt )

Ember: 666 antichrist ln, satan, england and i don't /need/ help thank you

Ember: the thought is what counts i suppose

Ember: he's not dead why the fuck would he be dead kODY

Kody: hey i said i wanted your address not kaides

Ember: i'm just saying kody, i'm letting you know

Ember: i don't tolerate that shit

Ember: nothing, he's under my command

Kody: just give me your address and get help

Kody: praying 4 u

Ember: if it's child pornography i'm gonna have to send you to the police

Kody: ...what the fuck

Kody: honestly what the fuck are you okay

Kody: give me your address if you want a christmas card this year

tanner: there was no need to get the butch all excited by asking her that question, rory.

tanner: say what you want kody but i know for a fact every bitch you've fucked would've preferred to have been with me. least after fucking me, they wouldn't go home with the flu.

ember: they've been going well, i've brought non-timmy to a few of them, everyone looks at him really confused, but he embraces it. i made him cut those dreads off so fast. pretty sure axel's gonna be in my asshole, not the other way around.

ember: "the butch" tanner i'm gonna "butch" you with my meat cleaver you son of a bitch

rory: butcher*

kody: as long as i got my turn with them tanner it doesnt matter to me so have fun with my sloppy seconds

tanner: kody you sure you should be talkin about our brother like that?? i mean back home half the time you claimed you had a sore throat im pretty sure it was cos you got ahead of yourself with deepthroating every guy that looked your way.

ember: maybe like...hanging from a tree with a rope around his neck, i know that would be one of my favorites. shut up kody, i'll kick your ass first.

ember: i mean if you guys want to know axel's favorite position, i'm not one to hold back

rory: how're the klan meetings going, ember? forgot to ask

rory: nah i want to remind you to use enough lube, those dreads may make him seem tough to dead beat stoners but he isn't invincible

kody: tanner you know me i was just trying to beat your record but of course theres no way i can deepthroat as many dudes in one night as you can

tanner: who knows, ranga would be into that shit. surprised we haven't found axel's dead body in a ditch somewhere yet.

ember: hey that's not funny, i'm trying to get better at controlling my anger :////

ember: and besides he won't kill me, he'd drop dead crying and peeing his pants before even trying to kill me

rory: what do you think tanner's favorite position would be when you fuck him, ember? i wonder if twins have the same favorites

kody: hey if axel got into it with me i wouldnt put it past him to try and kill you but im sure you could kick his ass like you did the last guy