so just drop dead

and when he said it feels different with long sharp nails (he likes his back scratched)… ?? ok go daydream about your ex or whoever you had scratching your back with those long nails? go remember and enjoy those feelings? or even better you can go find some redhead with those nails, wouldn’t it be great? because i’m not dying my hair red nor do i those nails i fucking hate

the answer is, my narcissistic part wants to be THE best and THE one for him and hmm he likes smth that can not be applied to me so that means he doesn’t like me the best and the most and yes ofc it hurts me even if i understand this logic is bullshit. plus such words from him feel like he’d like to change me to his preferences (even if he doesn’t intend to mean that, pretty sure he does not) so i get extremely defensive like hell no you accept me the way i am or you get the fuxk out.

the problem is, you can’t solve “feelings” problem with “thinking” solution