Reminding Me of My Place...
We've played with diapers on and off for years, and my wife has been an unwavering source of support throughout. To her credit, she never shies away from what she jokingly calls โdiaper duty.โ While she never set out to be my caregiver, she stepped into the role with grace and a surprisingly light heart. She lacks any hangups about the situation; instead, she uses humor to bridge the gap. She often teases me with a good-natured wink, calling me her โbig babyโ or making light of the routine in a way that keeps the atmosphere light and playful.
Playing this way, I started to rely on my wife for this intimate experience of care. However, it has subtly and permanently altered the lens through which she sees me. Over time, the constant association with diapers and physical dependency became inseparable from her image of me as a husband. It wasnโt a sudden shift, but a gradual drift into a new reality where she sees herself differently, tooโmoving from my partner to my primary decision-maker, my caregiver, my Mommy!
The collaborative spirit of our marriage has been transformed and has been replaced by her firm, maternal objectivity. Choices we once weighed together are now settled before they ever reach me, shared only on a 'need-to-know' basis as she navigates the world on my behalf. Her warmth remains, but it has taken on a sharp edge of patronizing sweetness. She speaks to me with the patient, condescending tone one might use with a little, as if I no longer possess the capacity to understand the life she is now managing for me. And so now, I find myself in diapers more often these days.
Our sex life underwent its own transformation, too. There is no escaping the fact that cleaning a partnerโs diapers and treating rashes alters how you are perceived. While she never staged an outright refusal of intimacy, saying 'No' seemed to become easier for her, unburdened by the usual guilt found in typical marriages. She no longer felt any underlying 'sex pressure' from a passively unfulfilled partner. She took the lead and set expectations. Now, our encounters happen strictly on her terms and focus on her desires.
In a strange twist of irony, my being in diapers has actually streamlined and increased our intimacy. Since my peepee is tucked away and sidelined to filling diapers instead of her, she has coached me to provide her pleasure in other waysโmethods that seem to satisfy her more deeply than any of the sex we had before. Our 'adult time' has become a guided experience where she directs me with precision to do exactly what she likes and wants. It is a striking contradiction: our intimate life feels easier, less complicated, and more pleasurable now that I am relegated to diapers, as I've become quite the messy little eater!
Then, one day, during a routine diaper change, she casually asked if I wanted to 'have sex' with her again! I'm not sure if she asked out of pity; I think it was curiosity. I'm sure she knew any stamina I once had was long-gone at that point. So, if she wanted full penetrative intercourse with me again, I'd have to be retrained, something I now know she has no intention of doing.
She stared at me, waiting for an answer. So, I did what anyone in my place would do. I hesitated as I nervously sucked my paci. Then, like I'd done in so many diapers, my mind flooded. Could I still perform? Could I even last inside her, in something other than my own squishy diaper? Did I still have the rhythm? Because now, any real thrusting was really just diaper humping my stuffies. Even so, most of my releases (when allowed) come at the assistance of her vibrator through my diapers. So, could my peepee still get hard enough for sex? I don't really remember the last time I had a full stiffy. Sure, I could feel swelling down there when excited, but I'm always pointed down in my diapers. And with the vibrator, you don't really need a stiffy, just a diaper to catch the dribbles. Mommy taught me long ago that stiffies and cummies are not mutually exclusive for a big baby like me.
Stunned by her direct question about sex, I eventually managed to babble my answer past the nipple of my paci. "Mm-kโฆwiffโฆMommyโฆwaNn..Oouโฆ" Her face was almost neutral, no shock, no surprise. Just that slight smug smile graced her lips. Then, like so many times before, she simply started changing my diaper, ignoring my answer like she never asked.
She had no intention of having actual intercourse with me again. She wasn't really offering me something that explicit and adult; she was gauging how much of an actual baby I'd become. And she was reminding me of my place.
