New Horizons

He didn’t bother waiting as I exited the car, choosing to make his way into the large home without me. I stayed seated in the car for a moment, a sigh escaping past my painted lips as tears formed. “Just breath.” I spoke to myself. It was my fault that he was acting this way – I pissed him off – He had a right to be angry. I pulled my pocket mirror, checking my makeup before exiting the car. It was evident that it wouldn’t be just Henry and I at dinner tonight seeing as there were three extra cars crammed into the driveway. I pushed open the heavy doors, greeting one of the housekeepers with a smile as I slowly walked into the living room. I could hear the low tone of Henry’s father speaking the guest laughed at his words. Henry sat next to his mother, nursing a glass of bourbon as he paid attention to his look-alike father.

“Looks like Catherine decided to finally join us.” Richard, Henry’s father spoke with a snide look. The other’s, include Henry and his mother, turned in my direction. “Care to take a seat, darling.” It was more of a demand rather than a question. I nodded my head slightly, taking a seat on the edge next to Henry. He remained silent – placing his right hand on my thigh as he continued to listen to his father’s stories. I could feel the glances of those around, including his mother, Nancy. Richard and Nancy were always cordial but you could tell I was not the one they wanted their only son to settle down with. They knew I was a musician and I’m sure at this point they were aware of my past. They wanted Henry to settle with a girl that was – well- lets just say grounded if you will. I was a musician – I would go on tour or have to go to different places to appear on TV. They didn’t want that for Henry and as the years ticked on, I could tell Henry was starting to listen to them.  I was supposed to stay home and care for the house and more importantly Henry. Nancy wanted me to be a doting wife – one that listened to Henry and would bow down to his every whim and need. She was the picture-perfect wife – a June Cleaver in a way. Her hair and clothing were always pressed and perfect. She never wore the same outfit twice. When Richard would return home from work or the country club, she was there to greet him with a glass of scotch and dinner being prepared in the kitchen. When going to outings at the church or the club, she was the woman that the other women surrounded – it was her approval they all wanted.

“Smells like dinner is about ready – shall we make our way to the dining room?” Richard smiled as they guest rose from their seats. I watched as he made small talk with them as they passed, his smile slightly dropping as Henry and I approached. “Nancy, why don’t you show Henry that gift you were talking about the other day.” Henry looked at his dad confused. “I need to have a little chat with Cate for a moment.” I was taken back as Henry walked away, not even daring to look back to make sure I was okay. Richard waited until Nancy and Henry were out of the room before slowly turning back, his face expressionless.

“Heard it was quiet the time while the two of you were away.” His voice neutral. “Henry said something about an ex-boyfriend being there?” I pulled at my dress. “Don’t you think it’s time to stop playing pretend and settle into the role of dedicating yourself to my son and his future.”

I stared into his light eyes, a scoff slipping past my lips. “Pretend?” I crossed my arms defiantly. “My career is not pretend and your son is well aware of that. He knew what he was getting into when we met – you and your wife seem to be the ones with the problem.” From his glowing eyes, I could tell that he wasn’t prepared for me to answer back in this manner. “I may be Henry’s fiancé but I wasn’t put on this earth to dedicate myself to him or his future. I bow down to no man – including you, Richard.”

I brushed past him as I followed where the others had walked before. He stayed missing for a moment before joining everyone, acting as if our conversation never happened. I took a seat next to Henry, his second glass of bourbon that I’ve seen sitting in front of him. He spoke with a young couple, smiling and laughing at their words. The awkward feeling enveloped me again as I sat there, ignored by those around.

“Hope everyone is hungry!” Nancy spoke as she walked into the room. The chef followed behind; a large portion of meat spread on a silver platter. She took a seat next to Richard, rubbing his hand as she looked around the table. Her eyes finally landing on me, quickly looking away once we our sites connected. The hired help started dishing out the plates, everyone getting a piece of meat and two vegetables. I quietly thanked the woman as she passed me the plate, the only one to do so in fact. Everyone made idle chit chat as they ate. Henry’s body turned slightly from mine as he spoke to those next to him, laughing in between chews. I was left on my own little island – stranded with my overcooked pork and tasteless sides.

“So, Cate-“ My head perked up at the sound of my name. A head of blonde hair and over-lined eyes stared back at me. “I understand that you are a musician? Top 40? Country?” She was the wife of Henry’s friend.

I wiped my mouth with the silk napkin, “Well, I started off as a top 40 act but I’m looking to go in a different direction now. Get with the sound of the times kind of stuff.”

Richard and Nancy slowly ate their meals, their attention focused on my new conversation. “Well, I was only asking because I never heard of your songs. Not to be rude or anything, but I never heard of you at all.” The girl continued. “I guess your music isn’t really what I gravitate towards.”  

Her remark was meant to be rude – meant to make a mockery of me in front of everyone. If she was trying to hurt me it wasn’t working. I’ve heard it all and after a while it just goes right through you. “Sorry to hear that.” I smiled. “I don’t really cater towards the spoiled population.” Her face, along with everyone else’s, fell at my words. “Maybe when I first started you would have liked the music – pink, soft, clean. You can’t remain the same girl after the things I’ve done – my music is evident of that and your kind would never understand.”

“And what is it that you have done, Catherine?” Richard inquired.

I locked eyes with him, “Well, that’s not important is it, Richard?”

The table turned silent as the master of the house and I glared at one another. I wasn’t backing down this time. I was done backing down to these people – I was tired of being someone that I wasn’t. I downed what was left of my wine, quickly pouring myself another glass.

“What about children? Wouldn’t you like to settle down and have children?” An older woman asked. “Surely when you and Henry are married, you’ll step away from that lifestyle and settle down and become a wife and mother.”

Henry and I hardly spoke about having children. It had come up in passing a handful of times but the subject was changed before we could go further. Of course, I wanted children – only when the time was right. It wasn’t right when I was a teenager and I don’t believe the time was right at this moment. Henry didn’t strike me as the loving father type. He was very similar to his own father. He cared about his business and that was his pride and joy.

“My music and career are my children.” I spoke truthfully. “They’ve been my babies since I was 16 years old. You write the songs and send them out to the world – hoping millions of strangers enjoy and love them just as much as you do. Frankly, I don’t believe that Henry and I are at the point to have a real child. Even if we were to get married tomorrow, bringing a baby into this relationship would only bring trouble.” Henry’s head whipped to the side; his eyes boring into my skin. “Just because we’re getting married doesn’t mean I need to quiet my job and stay home. I’m not cut out for the whole housewife routine. Frankly, the thought of cleaning and cooking all day for my husband is a bit repulsive. Henry’s a grown man – if he’s hungry, he knows how to work the oven – it wouldn’t be the first time…”

The ride back to the house was silent.

I would glance over during the drive, watching as Henry’s face fought with the anger that was coursing through his body, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel tightly. I decided to just stay quiet, not wanting to poke the bear and risk us being involved in an accident. As he parked the car in the driveway, he quickly removed himself from the vehicle, stomping up the stairs to our condo. I sat in the dark car, the only sound coming from the crickets in the dewy grass. I understood that my boost of confidence at the dinner was the reason for his sour attitude. I finally found the courage to standup to those people – telling them how I really feel instead of being the phony person I had been.

I slowly walked up the same steps, taking a breath before entering the home. Henry was nowhere to be found; his jacket thrown on the back of the couch. I removed my heels before walking up the steps to our shared bedroom, stopping once I saw Henry sitting on the bed, head in hands. I leaned against the doorframe, biting my lip nervously.

“I’m really not in the mood to even hear your voice right now, Catherine.” He spoke. His voice tired.

“Well-“ I paused. “I didn’t hear you coming to my defense when they were playing 20 fucking questions. I was just being honest.”

His head shot up, “Honest-“He rose from the bed. “Your fucking honestly was the joke of the evening!” I flinched at his raised voice. “You made me look like a fucking fool in front of everyone. Oh, Henry can just cook for himself- He’s done it many times. Henry can fend for himself – he’s a grown man.” He mimicked.

“You want me to fucking lie?” I pressed back. “I told them the fucking truth! I don’t want to be some little housewife who jumps as soon as you come home. I am my own person! Just because we’re getting married doesn’t mean you own me, Henry Samuels. I’m not gonna be like your mother and her group of hens that sits at the country club and secretly daydreams about what their lives could have been. Fuck that shit!”

The searing pain of his hand meeting my cheek whipped my head to the side. My hand instantly touched the spot, tears welling up in my eyes as the pain intensified. I could hear as Henry stomped past me, the door to the guest room slamming behind him. This wasn’t the first time I had been hit by a man but it was the first time Henry had ever laid hands on me. 

I stood in the same spot for a number of minutes before my anger kicked in. His hit left a large red mark on my cheek – I winced as I did my best to try to cover it. I quickly changed out of my stuffy attire, slipping on a strappy, long dress with see-through material. I clipped back my hair, letting my bangs frame my puffy face. I didn’t even bother telling him where I was going – simply slamming the front door as I left. I didn’t know where I was going. I just knew that I didn’t want to be anywhere near him at this point…

“Can I have another whiskey sour, please?”

I watched as the bartender began working on the drink – my fifth one of the night at this point. I drove around for an hour or two before walking into the rowdy establishment. It was right off the highway, mostly occupied by bikers and ruffians. It was definitely not the type of place where you would find Henry

“Thanks.” I muttered as he placed the glass in front of me. I had it finished within seconds, the warmth of the alcohol flooding my senses. I wasn’t drunk though. My tolerance for alcohol growing since my younger years – years of slamming back drink after drink – getting trashed and not even remembering what had happened the next day.

“Can I just have the bottle?”

I looked up from my drink, the voice sitting directly next to me causing my heart to speed up. His hair was pulled back, the same glasses as always perched over his eyes. “What are you doing here?” I finally asked.

He kept his head trained ahead, “Saw you split from your place in a hurry – figured you wanted to get drunk.” A small smirk formed on his face. “Trouble in paradise between you and the prince?”

I rolled my eyes at the nickname he had given Henry. “Just a disagreement is all.” I lied. I could see his eyes roll behind the glasses. “Why are you in Tennessee?”

He took a long drink from the bottle of whiskey, the liquid dripping from his chin down to his exposed chest. “There’s a beautiful girl – woman I know here.” His body turning towards mine. “From the looks of it-“His hand moving my hair away from my face, his fingers dancing on my exposed shoulder. “She’s secretly happy to see me.”

My breath hitched in my throat as my heart drummed against my chest. “We can’t do this, Jake.” My words barely audible. At this point our faces were inches apart – the intoxicating smell of alcohol, smoke, and that damn cologne flooding my senses.

I awoke on the floor of the hotel room as the housekeepers made their way in. I didn’t even hear them knocking until they entered, shocked at the state of the room and my appearance on the floor. The older woman asked if I was okay, seeing as I was still wrapped in the sheet, the room absolutely wrecked. I’m sure to her it looked like a crime scene instead of a temper tantrum gone extreme. I quickly assured her that everything was fine, just asking for a couple minutes to get ready and pack my things. Once the door was closed, I quickly removed myself from the floor, dropping the sheet as I walked towards the bathroom. I showered and pulled on my clothes, shoving everything else inside of the suitcase. “Catherine?” Lionel’s voice rang out as he entered the room, his face falling once he saw the state of it. “What the hell happened?”

I ran my hand through my hair, “Uh-“ I stammered. “I had a rough night.”

“The bed is fucking trashed, Cate.” His voice raised. “Did you break anything? You better tell me now before I get a call later on to tell me that I owe them.”

“I didn’t break anything.” I pushed past him, suitcase in hand. “I just couldn’t sleep is all and the bed wasn’t very comfortable.”

He didn’t buy what I was saying, simply shaking his head, pulling the door closed as we made our exit. “What’s the plan for today?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

“Well, the studio executives aren’t very happy about the incident you and Jake played out yesterday, so they want to have a talk with the two of you. Make sure th-“

“What!?” I exclaimed, my hand gripping his forearm.

“The execs need to make sure you and Jake can be civil towards one another going on, especially with Henry in the mix.” He removed my hand from his arm. “Don’t worry, I’ll be there.”

I was hoping that since the filming was over, at least for now, we would be flying back home. I wouldn’t have to see Jake for a while and the acts that we had performed hours before would just be a distant memory. That was thrown out the fucking window thanks to Lionel and the fucking studio executives.

I followed him to the awaiting car, happy that it was just the two of us. The start of the ride was silent, Lionel finally breaking that. “Heard from Henry?”

My head turned in his direction, “No.” I muttered. “He didn’t say where he was going.”

“Maybe it’s better off.” Lionel spoke. “You know I’ve never been a fan of that boy.”

“We didn’t break up, Lionel.” He rolled his eyes. “He’ll come around; we just needed some time apart.”

Lionel and Henry always had a dislike relationship. When Henry and I started dating, Lionel told me he had a bad feeling about him, a strong dislike right off the bat. Maybe it’s because of Henry’s background and the way he treated people. When Henry caught on to Lionel’s attitude, Henry gave it back ten-fold. He tried to get me to fire Lionel on so many occasions, but I always turned him down. Lionel was like a second father to me. He helped me through so much but also dragged me through so many situations that I could see where Henry was coming from. I would simply tell Henry that my business with Lionel was my business alone, not his or anyone else’s. Lionel was never like that with Jake though. He knew that Jake was an asshole, but they got along in a weird way. He knew the hell that Jake put me through, making sure to put Jake in his place when he saw how upset I was. After a few days, they would come around and be friends again. He loved the Greta guys just like he loved me.

We arrived at the main office for the studio, taking the elevator to the 23rd floor. The receptionist was bright and cheery as she alerted the president of our arrival. Lionel thanked her as he took my hand, walking us through the wooden doors. The office was massive, gold statues lining the walls, along with promotional posters of the network shows. “Lionel!” The aging man stood from his wooden desk. I looked past Lionel as he greeted the man, my heart fluttering once I saw Jake sitting off to the side. His sunglasses covered his eyes as a cigarette burned between his lips.

“You must be the lovely Catherine.” My attention focused on the man. “You’re even more beautiful in person, sweetheart.”

I gave him a small smile as he gently kissed my cheek. My comfort level flatlining at this point. I never liked meeting with these big-wig types. They were all the same – Old, horny, and just plain disgusting. They thought with their dicks, like most men, making sure to undress you with their eyes as they “spoke” to you.

Lionel gave my arm a reassuring squeeze as he walked us over to where the man’s desk was. “Jacob-“ Mr. Nelson spoke. “Would you care to join us, son?”

Jake stilled for a moment before slowly removing himself from the chair, taking a seat next to mine. He was dressed in the same outfit as last night, his damp hair resting on his shoulders.

“Jake!” I moaned, my hand pulling at his locks. “Fuck sake.”

His hands squeeze my thighs as his tongue continued its assault. My whole body was quivering, my moans getting louder as the seconds passed. I couldn’t tell you how many times I came, knowing that it was way more than usual. Even though I was loving having him between my legs, I needed him. I was fucking craving him. I pulled my body up, my hands on the side of his face, pulling him up to meet my lips. I could taste myself on his lips, my core heating up even more. I needed him inside me.

“Catherine?”

“What?” I asked confused. Lionel and Mr. Prescott were looking at me, worried expressions on their faces.

“She didn’t get much sleep last night.” Lionel spoke, excusing my action.

Jake shifted in his seat, clearing his throat.

“Well, would you like a cup of coffee or anything?” Mr. Prescott asked. “My secretary can make you some – Caroline!”

I went to object but stopped as Jake spoke. “She doesn’t like coffee.”

I looked over at him, his eyes staring straight ahead as he fiddled with the ring on his finger.

“Well, he speaks!” Mr. Prescott smiled. “Thought I was gonna have to wind you up like a Jack in the box.” He laughed at his own joke, Lionel joining in slightly.

I turned back towards the older man, “I’ve never really been a coffee drinker, but thank you for the offer.”

The older man leaned back in his chair; his eyes boring into mine. “Honey-“His thick accent drawled. “I have plenty more to offer you than a little cup of coffee.”

“Are we not hear to talk about what she and I need to do? I have better things to do than fucking sit here.” Jake asked annoyed.

“Jake.” Lionel reprimanded. “

The man folded his hands together, a smirk on his face as he stared at Jake. “The young man is right. We do need to talk about the two of you and how to make sure the fans think that you like one another.”

It wouldn’t be the first time Jake and I had to fake being nice to one another. During the last leg of the 68’ tour, we absolutely despised one another. I was crying almost every night and Jake was drinking and busting his way through our hotel room. Lionel and the guy’s manager at the time simply told us to act our way through the rest of the weeks. If we needed to do press, one would be on one end and the other would sit on the other. If any marks showed up, we were to cover them the best we could and lie our way out of the questions. It was a fucking shitshow to say the least.

“Now-“ Mr. Prescott spoke. “From my understanding, the issue seems to surround a gentleman named Henry, correct?”

“No-“ I sat straight. “The issue is that Jake doesn’t like when new people come into the circle. He’s had a problem with Henry from day one and the only thing Henry did was say hello.”

Jake let out a noise, “That fuckers had a problem with me, Cate. Dude can’t figure out that when I don’t fucking answer, that means that I don’t want to fucking talk.”

“You could have just told him that instead of being a fucking asshole.” Our eyes locked as I turned my head in his direction. “He was just being friendly, obviously something you know nothing about.”

A smile formed on his lips, “Oh, I know how to be friendly, sweetheart.”

I rolled my eyes – My heartbeat speeding up.

“If this Henry is an issue, I think it’s best that he’s not around.” Mr. Prescott spoke. “You wouldn’t want the press getting word that your ex-husband and future husband are backstage throwing blows, now would you?” I shook my head. “Now, as for you and Jake-“He paused. “I don’t want any more of the theatrics that you all have been causing. I don’t want to hear about dinner parties being ruined because of the two of you. And I also don’t want to hear about fight backstage or out in public between you too. As of right now, you are to act like civilized adults, regardless of your feelings toward one another. Understand?”

“And what happens if that doesn’t work out?” He looked up at Jake, a smirk forming over his aging face.

“You just make sure it does, Jacob…”

The meeting with Mr. Prescott lasted for another hour before he finally released up to leave. Jake and I stayed silent for the rest of the meeting, listening as he and Lionel talked animatedly about different ideas, they each had. While I sat there, I couldn’t help but feel Jake’s eyes running over my body. I didn’t dare look over, too afraid that I would make eye contact, causing the thoughts of last night to come back. I glanced over as Jake rushed out of the office, speaking with the receptionist, a smile showing up on her face. He had slipped her something, winking as he walked towards the elevators. I tried to ignore the gesture as I said my goodbyes to Lionel and Mr. Prescott.

“I’ll meet you downstairs in a few minutes, kiddo.” Lionel announced over his shoulder. I simply threw a thumbs up as I started walking towards the reception area. I couldn’t help but glance at the pretty receptionist as I walked by, catching her attention.

“Oh, Ms. Zayler-“The girl’s voice rang out. I slowly turned towards her as she stood up. “Mr. Kiszka wanted me to give this to you.”

I hesitantly reached for the white envelope, “Thank you.” She gave me a smile before resuming her position.

I waited until I was in the elevator to open it, a wrinkled note and a gold key hidden inside. With shaky hands, I removed the note, Jake’s messy penmanship bled through the paper.

No one has to know – 193 Gateway Pass – Motor-Inn Motel - Room 163. No one has to know.

When we first started sneaking around after just meeting, he would always say those words. His brothers didn’t have to know. Lionel defiantly didn’t have to know. It was just between the two of us and whatever motel bed we were on. This time was a bit different. His brothers and Lionel still didn’t need to know but Henry was now added to the mix. What had happened earlier this morning was a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened, and Jake knew that, but yet here he was sneaking note like we were school.

I waited in the lobby of the office building, the envelope shoved into my purse, as I waited for Lionel to emerge. I tried not to think about It, focusing on the people that were coming in and out.

“There you are.” Lionel smiled as he exited the elevator. “I was worried that you ran away.”

I gave him a weak smile, “It’s not like I have anywhere to go.”

“Oh yes-“Lionel reached into his coat pocket. “Henry called before we left the hotel this morning.” He pulled out a slip of paper. “He wanted me to tell you that he went back home, and he has a plane ticket waiting for you at the Pan Am ticket counter.” His eyes connected with mine. “I’ll have the driver bring you to the airport.”  

I stared at him for a moment, “What about you?”

He simply shrugged his shoulders, telling me that he had some more business to attend to before he could head back to Tennessee. “You go be with Henry.” He smiled, pulling me into a strong hug. I instantly wrapped my arms around him. We stood like that for a few moments before he released me. “Just know-“ He began. “When I call and say that it’s time to come back, you come back alone. No Henry, okay.”

I nodded my head.

He escorted me to the awaiting car, telling the driver to take me to the airport. I gave him one last wave as the driver started the car, pulling out into the busy LA streets…

“Are you sure this is the place you want to be dropped off?”

I looked up at the run-down building, three cars parked in the gravel parking lot. “Yeah.” I said unsure as I unclipped my seat belt. “Looks can be deceiving.”

The driver made a face, muttering something under his breath as he removed himself from the car. The gravel and soil crunched under my heavy heels as he removed my luggage from the car. “You know-“His deep voice sounded. “If Lionel knew I dropped you off here, he’d kill me and make sure no one finds me.” A smile formed across my face, “You and me both, my friend.”

He asked me once again if this was the right place, saying that he would take me back to the airport right away if it wasn’t. I assured him that this was the address, thanking him with a hug before walking towards the numbered door. I could feel his gaze on my back as I walked towards the specific room, the key feeling hot in my hand. I was giving myself a mental pep-talk the whole time, my heart about to beat a hole in my chest.

I slowly raised the key to the doorknob, inserting the brass item into the lock. Before I had time to turn it, the door slowly opened, Jake’s figure standing shirtless in front of me.

I stared at him for a moment, my head starting to spin out of control.

“I think she’s a little young for you, Jacob.” I jumped in.

He turned to look at me, a mischievous smirk on his face, “You jealous, sweet cheeks?” I stayed silent for a moment, my temper starting to rise. “You were around her age, wait-“ He turned towards the girl. “How old are you, honey?”

“Sixteen.” She smiled.

I could hear Josh muttering to himself, looking back towards Sam and Danny.

Jake turned back towards me, “You were just a year older than her when I met you-“He paused. “We had a wild time, remember.”

“Okay!” Josh exclaimed. “That wraps up our question-and-answer portion of the show. Please stay seated while we go change and hopefully the network will come back from commercial.”

Tony and the others signaled the audience to applaud as the network turned to a break. Once the cameras stopped rolling, I threw down my mic, storming off stage as Henry yelled my name. My heels smacked against the floor as he finally caught up to me, grabbing me by the arm, pulling me into his chest. “What the hell was that?” His voice stern. I stayed silent, causing his anger to rise. “Fucking answer me!” His fingers digging into my arms as he shook my upper body.

I decided not to say anything, ripping my arm out of his grasp as I made my way towards the dressing room. I threw open the door, giving the poor hair and makeup girls a true fright. “Sorry.” I muttered as I took a seat in front of the mirror. I didn’t even know what we were doing next, my mind still fuming from Jake’s dialogue.

“Catherine!” Lionel burst through the door, his face red with anger. “Henry and Jake are going at it.”

I instantly sprung from my chair, running towards the sound of commotion. Henry had Jake pinned on the floor, blow after blow coming down on his face. Josh and Sam were trying their hardest to get Henry off of Jake, only to get pushed back by him as he continued his assault.

“Stop it!” I yelled, making a dash towards Henry, pushing him off balance as he fell to the floor next to Jake. The guys instantly ran to Jake’s side as he pushed them off, wiping the blood from his lip. His previously bruised eye was now red and starting to swell again as the gash in his lip grew in size. Blood poured from his nose, dripping onto his shirtless chest. “Fucking son of a bitch.” Jake exclaimed as he moved to his feet. I had made my way over to Henry, making sure he was okay as Jake stared at us. “You get him the fuck out of here, Cate!”

“Fuck you, asshole!” Henry spat in his direction.

“I think that’s a good idea, Cate.” Lionel spoke up. “Henry was the one who started the whole thing.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Henry laughed. “I didn’t start anything. This fucking punk had it coming to him and I was the only one willing to teach him a lesson.”

I looked between the two, not knowing who to believe. It wouldn’t surprise me if Henry did start the fight between him and Jake. He was still heated about how Jake had been treating him, being ignored wasn’t something Henry was used to. He spoke earlier about how everyone was bowing down to Jake, the spoiled prince as he called him. He didn’t understand the allure that Jake had. On the other hand, Jake was an asshole. He knew how to get under someone’s skin to the point of them breaking. Did Jake say something to Henry to make him go rogue?

“Enough.” I finally spoke up. I turned to look at Henry, grabbing onto his arm. “Let’s just leave, okay.”

“You can’t fucking leave in the middle of the show, Cate.” Josh spoke. “There’s millions of people watching, not including the audience out there.”

“It seems like they are enjoying you guys more than myself so I’m sure it’ll be fine if Henry and I just get out of here before something else happens.”

I could hear Jake mutter to himself, shaking his head as his nose continued to bleed. “Just let’er go.”

Lionel made his way between us, grabbing my hand from Henry’s, “No one is going anywhere.” His voice stern. “You’re grown fucking adults acting like a bunch of teenagers. I didn’t come all this way to have you-“He pointed between Jake and I. “To ruin this chance for both of your careers. If you wanna fuck up your livelihood, be my fucking guest, but you will not do it on my watch.”  

“I didn’t do anyt-“

“Catherine, shut up.” Lionel snapped. I felt like a small child that had just been scolded for the first time. Lionel was like a father to me and I hated for him to yell at me. “Cate-“ His voice slightly softer, “Take Henry back to your dressing room and get ready for the next act.”

I nodded my head, looking up at Henry as his light eyes bore into mine. I knew that he was pissed that I didn’t defend him. I would be hearing about it once the dressing room door closed. I didn’t even bother grabbing his hand as I glanced back at the guys as Lionel laid into them, more so Jake. Henry’s heavy footsteps sounded behind me as we made our way to the designated room, the stylist still there awaiting my return. I gave them a small smile as I took my previous seat, watching as they gave me sad smiles in return.

“I can’t believe you, Cate.” Henry shook his head. “I’m your fiancé and you didn’t say a Goddamn word on my behalf.”

I let out a sigh, “What was I supposed to s-“

“You’re supposed to have my fucking back!” He yelled, causing not only myself, but the stylist to jump in fear as well. “You’re supposed to tell them all to fuck off and stop acting like children. You need to stand up for your man, not throw me under the fucking bus.”

“I didn’t throw you under the bus, Henry.” My voice soft. “You can’t just go around and start attacking people because you don’t like the way they act.”

He slapped his hand against his leg, “There you go - taking his side again.”

“I’m not taking anyone’s side, Henry.” My anger starting to bubble over. “That’s just how Jake is. He likes to get under people’s skin and he’s winning. You’re letting him get under your skin and you’re acting like a fool.”

“Is he not getting under your skin too, sweetheart?” Henry’s voice lowered as he walked towards me. “Him speaking with that girl really set you off, didn’t it?” I broke eye contact, choosing to look at the ground. “Why didn’t you tell me you were married to him? What else are you hiding?”

I stayed silent as he asked the stylist to leave for a moment, the silence deafening once they were out of the room.

“I don’t even know who you are anymore, Catherine.” He sighed. “Is that even your real name?”

“Why are you acting like this?” I asked. “You’ve been in a strange mood since we arrived, and I don’t like it.”

He stood there for a moment, his face expressionless. “Really?”

I nodded my head, “As soon as this is over, I’m flying back to Tennessee. I can’t deal with the stress any longer.”

“You’re the one that’s causing the stress, Cate. You just had to come back didn’t you? What were you expecting- You were gonna see him and then your past feeling would fade away? Was this some kind of closure you thought you needed?”

“Cate-“Lionel’s voice sounded as he opened the door, his face dropping once he saw that I wasn’t ready and that Henry was still present. “I thought you were getting ready?” His eyes darted towards the stylists, their eyes showing the true discomfort that enveloped the room.

“I think it’s best if I take her back home. This was all just a big mistake and the stress is not good for her.”

Lionel’s eyes narrowed as he took in Henry’s words. “Stress-“ His voice low. “You’re the one stressing her out, Henry. You’re the one who can’t keep their mouth shut and attacking people when you don’t know the whole story. Maybe you’re the one that needs to go back home before you do something you might regret.”

“Lionel, please.” I muttered. “Let’s just drop it and get this over with, okay.” I placed my hand on Henry’s chest. “Please, baby.”

Henry looked between Lionel and I before rolling his eyes, pushing past the both of us as he stormed out of the room…

“Besides the drama with Henry and Jake, I believe everything went well.”

I looked up at Josh, rolling my eyes. “If that was considered good, then I hate to see what bad looks like.”

The television network had planned for all of us to have dinner together after our show, a way for them to say thank you and to congratulate us on the “job well done.”

“Henry sitting this one out?” Josh brushed his shoulder against mine. “Is everything okay between the two of you?”

I let out a sigh, “He’s just upset about Jake. You know how he gets with certain people. Henry isn’t used to that and Jake’s being his typical self.”

Josh just nodded his head as we entered the dining room. Lionel and Sam were already present, speaking to one another as the TV executives spoke with one another. Danny stood in the corner, a drink in his hand as he spoke to one of the stylists. I followed Josh to the table, sitting across from Sam and Lionel, giving them a small smile as I adjusted my dress as I took a seat. Josh had turned his attention to Sam and Lionel’s conversation, leaving me left to my own thoughts. My thoughts instantly wondered where he was. Was he going to show up or just skip it like he used to do? He used to talk about how useless it was to attend these types of dinners. He would rather be at the house or at some hole in the wall bar, getting shitfaced with a bunch of misfits.

“Son of a bitch.”

I turned towards where Josh was looking as Jake made his grand entrance, a young girl following close behind him. Sunglasses covered his eyes as a smirk lit up his face. His grip on the girl’s hand had my attention as they took their seats across from Josh and I. Sam gulped down his drink as he looked over at the two, unsure what exactly was happening.

“Nice for you to join us, brother.” Josh spoke. Jake sat there smugly, unsure who he was looking at due to the tinted lenses covering his eyes. “You want to introduce us to your guest?”

“She’s the girl from the audience.” I spoke out. “The young one.”

As soon as she sat down, I immediately recognized her. She was dressed in a short halter dress, a pair of go-go boots running up her legs. She looked like she was in her 20s rather than 16 years old like she confessed. Her smile beamed across the table as she exclaimed how excited she was to be sitting with all of us, a dream come true for her.

Jake perched his glasses in his hair as he ordered two shots from waiter, his eyes connected with mine once he was finished. He was loaded. “You realize she’s a minor?” I questioned. “She’s underage, Jacob.”

“My mom gave him permission!” The girl spoke.

I couldn’t believe this was happening. “Your mother allowed you to come here with Jake?” Lionel questioned the girl. She quickly nodded her head. “Is your mom here right now?”

The young girl shook her head, “No- “She paused. “She went back to the hotel we’re staying at. She asked Jake if I could hang out with him and he agreed.” She smiled up at him, rubbing his arm in a loving way.

Josh cleared his throat, “Is your mom picking you up tonight once dinner is over?”

The girl shook her head once again.

“Then who’s taking you back to your mom?” I asked confused.

“She’s coming back with me and then I’ll take her to her mom’s hotel tomorrow.”  

You could cut the tension with a fucking knife at this point. “Excuse me?” Lionel questioned.

Jake finished off the brown liquid, leaning back in his chair, slinging his arm around the girl’s chair. “You fucking heard me, Lionel.”

“Jake this isn’t a joke, man.” Josh looked at his brother. “You can’t be serious right now.”

Jake stayed silent.

“I’m Bridget by the way.” The girl smiled. “My mom wanted me to introduce myself to you all as well, but Jake was the priority.”

I was so shocked that I didn’t even know what to say. It was as if I had entered the fucking twilight zone and Ron Sterling was narrating my episode in great detail.

“Come on Jake, she’s a kid.” Sam interjected. “You can’t mess around with a kid, man.”

“My mom gave him permission to do whatever he wanted.” Bridget continued to speak. “She said that Jake’s in charge and to listen to him.”

“Sweetheart-“ I spoke. “I know that you like Jake and all, but you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to even though your mom told you too. Hell, if you wanted, you could leave right now, and we could have someone drive you back to your mom’s hotel.”

Her face fell, “I want to be here. I want to be with Jake.”

I could feel my face turning red with anger, “You’re 16 years old, Bridget- “My voice quivering with rage. “Do you know that Jake could get in trouble for this? He could get in big trouble and then it would be all your fault because you and your fucking mother decided to confront him when he’s higher than a fucking kite and talk him into the charade! And you-“I was standing at this point, my finger in Jake’s face. “She’s a fucking minor, Jacob! How the fuck do you know her and her fucking crazy mother aren’t’ gonna backtrack and go tell the cops a lie about you forcing a minor into your bed? Are you even using what brain you have left or has all the booze and drugs destroyed it?!”

The whole dining room was silent as this point as the other diners and TV executives watched the drama unfold. They were probably kicking themselves at this point for agreeing to take on our crazy asses.

Jake’s eyes pieced through mine, “Need I remind you that you were in fact a minor as well, Erin?” His voice low. “You did things with me in those 12 months that no other adult woman would know to do with a man. You remember that sweetheart? You were fucking begging for it just like Bridget here, so don’t act so high and fucking mighty just for show. Everyone knows what you did, and you were a fucking minor when you did it.”

“At least my mother didn’t whore me out like this one.”

I watched as tears brimmed in Bridget’s eyes, whispering in Jake’s ear that she wanted to leave. He gave me one last look before storming out of his seat, grabbing onto her hand as he led them out of the restaurant. Sam and Danny followed after them, hopefully trying to get Jake away from her and bring him back to his room alone.

I took my seat again next to Josh as everyone that was left sitting tried to comprehend what had just happened.

The people wanted a show and we sure gave them one…

I had a major headache.

I had excused myself early from the dinner, telling everyone that I didn’t feel like eating anymore. Lionel and Josh had offered to walk me back to my room, but I just needed to be alone. I didn’t want to speak to anyone at this point. As soon as my heels hit the hardwood floor, I removed my heels, throwing my dress on the floor as I waited for the water from the tub to heat up. I stared at myself in the mirror, vulnerable and worried. I was worried about Henry. I was worried that our relationship had finally hit the point of no return. I was worried about Jake and the possibility of something happening between him and Bridget. How could a mother offer their child, especially a daughter on a silver platter like they were some fancy dinner item to a total stranger. For all they knew, Jake could have been some serial killer and kill the poor girl. What was she trying to gain from Jake? The possibility of Bridget getting pregnant and then Jake having to stop everything and marry this child? This wasn’t a Jerry Lee and Myra Gale situation. This was a mother whoring out her own daughter to gain some kind of notoriety.

I stayed in the tub for about 10 minutes before getting out, no longer enjoying the warm water. I quickly dressed in my nightgown, combing out my blonde hair. My mind was zoned in on the television when there was a knock on the door. My hopes were that it was Henry coming back to apologize but I knew that it was most likely Lionel coming to scold me for causing a scene.

“I’m sorr-“I stopped talking once I saw Jake standing before me. “What the hell do you want?” My tone changed.

He didn’t say anything just gesturing to come in the room. I looked at him for a moment before letting him in, cautiously closing the door behind me. I watched as he looked around the room, a small smile on his face as he saw my clothes scattered all over. “Still haven’t figured out how to put your clothes away I see.”

“What do you want, Jake?” I was in no mood for idle chit chat. “Aren’t you supposed to be shacked up with your underage groupie?”

“It really bothered you didn’t it?”

I crossed my arms, “It bothered me that you were stupid enough to go along with it. You and I both know that there are people out there willing to do anything to get their name out there. How do you know this wasn’t that girl and her mother’s plan? Oh, let’s get in bed with Jake Kiszka and get pregnant and have the whole world know that this 26-year-old rock star got a 16-year-old knocked up.”

I was in fact that young girl that got pregnant by said rock star. I was 17 when Jake and I started fooling around and two months into our relationship, I had missed my period and a urine test later determined that I was indeed knocked up. I remember feeling as if the doctor and nurse were judging me. I felt ashamed. They probably thought that I was some little whore that slept with any boy that looked my way. They asked me if I knew who the father was, asking if he was present in my life. Jake was present but only behind closed doors. Our love affair was between us and the mattress of the various hotels and motels were frequented. I realized that I couldn’t bring a baby into the world when I was just a child myself. I spoke to Lionel about it, not revealing who the donor was, asking him for advice. We drove through the night to Chicago, ending up in front of a false store front that shadowed the world from what was really happening behind the frosted glass.

“Why do you even care, Catherine? You fucking hate me but yet you’re worried about who I invite back to my hotel room.”

“I care because I’m not gonna let you bring down your band just because you fucked around with a teenager who more than likely has ulterior motives.”

He shook his head, taking a seat on the bed. “You’re one to talk, sweetheart.

My mouth dropped open, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

The smirk fell from his face as he stood up, his frame towering over mine. “You knew that if you got with me, you would be brought to the top of the charts. You act like you never heard of us, but I know even in bum fuck Kentucky, they played our songs on the radio.”

“Are you trying to say I basically slept my way to the top? You think you hold some great power that by fucking around with you gave me the radio success that I already had before I even recorded with you guys?

“Radio success?” He laughed. “Baby girl, you were barely being played and your target audience were little girls that still needed chaperones at their school dances. We – I brought you into the mainstream and showed you what it was like to be a true musician. I showed you what rock n roll really was. It’s not my fault you couldn’t keep up.” His face was inches from mine, his signature smell of cigarettes, booze, and English Leather cologne flooded my senses. “Where’s Henry?” He whispered in my ear, goosebumps popping up on my body.

“I don’t know.” I answered truthfully.

The ride to the police station was tense to say the least.

The studio was already aware of Jake’s arrest, threatening to pull the show hours before curtain time. Greta’s manager was in charge of speaking to the studio heads, while Lionel was in charge of bailing Jake out of jail. Josh rode with us to the station, staying eerily silent the entire ride. Once the limo arrived, we each filed out, Josh practically running ahead. I decided to stay behind Lionel, not wanting to get in the way. I watched as Josh and Lionel spoke with the officer, probably telling him how Jake needed to be on stage in front of millions of people in less than two hours.

“How much is this gonna cost, officer?” Lionel removed his checkbook from his suit pocket.

The officer let out laugh, a smirk present on his face, “A thousand dollars.” Josh and I looked at one another as the last of Lionel’s patience went out the window.

“One thousand dollars?” Lionel asked to clarify. “Four numbers - one thousand?”  

The officer nodded his head, enjoying every minute. “Correct, sir.”

“What the hell did he do for his bond to be a thousand dollars!” I jumped as Lionel’s voice echoed through the station, alerting the other officers. “That’s ridiculous!”

“You need to keep your voice down, sir.” The officer warned. I placed my hand on Lionel’s arm, trying to comfort him. “Mr. Kiszka was arrested for public intoxication and assaulting an officer.”

“He hit a police officer?” Josh asked.

The man nodded, “Yes.”

I couldn’t believe he would do something like that. There had to be a reason he would punch a cop. Granted you should never punch any member of the police force, but that wasn’t like Jake. I watched as Lionel payed the bond, sweat covering his forehead. We moved away from the desk, taking seats in the available chairs as we waited for Jake to emerge.

10 minutes later, a battered looking Jake was pushed out the door, his clothes and hair disheveled from his night spent in jail. “Holy shit.” Josh exclaimed next to me. Jake’s eye was busted and bruised, a split present on his bottom lip.

“What the hell happened to you?” Lionel expressed.

Jake ignored everyone’s questions as he exited the building. Josh was the first to run after him, catching up to him to question what happened. I decided to hang back a bit as Lionel joined in on the interrogation.

“You wanna tell us what happened?” Josh questioned. I watched as Jake lit a cigarette, noticing how bruised his knuckles were.

“Not with her here.” He glanced towards me.

“Why?” I stepped up. “Why can’t I hear what happened?”

Jake stayed silent, his cigarette hanging from his lips. “Maybe you should go back to the car.” Josh suggested.

“Maybe not.” I spoke back, my eyes trained on Jake. “What the fuck happened, Jacob?”

He let out a laugh, a twisted smile appearing on his face. “I was trying to get laid, Catherine.” I took a step back, not expecting that to be his answer. “I found this hot thing at the bar and just wanted to fuck her into oblivion.”

“Shut up, Jake.” Josh spoke.

“She wanted to fucking know, Josh.” Jake continued to smile. “When I tell you this girl had a body on her-“He paused. “You know just by looking at a girl how many times they can cum, and that girl was top notch.”

I could feel my anger building as he continued. “I was so close to bringing her to the bathroom, but her stupid boyfriend showed up. Started pushing me around so I had to defend myself.”

“Yeah-“I laughed. “It looks like you did really well for yourself, Romeo.”

He flicked his cigarette in my direction, “I don’t see any guys fighting over your ass.”

I crossed my arms across my chest in a protective manner, “I’m happily engaged - I have the only man I want and need.”

He rolled his eyes before lighting another stick. “You punched a cop, Jake. Do you know how bad that looks? Your stupidity is probably gonna get us axed from the show.” Josh looked over his brother. “All that hard work just to have it thrown away because you needed a piece of ass.”

“I didn’t want to do the fucking show to begin with, Josh.” Jake spoke up. “You’re the one who pressure us into it. Let Cate do the show alone. She’s the one who needs the attention.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I blurted.

He shrugged his shoulders, “You’re the one who’s depending on your rich fiancé to keep you financially stable. Your records aren’t selling like they used to, sweetheart.”  

My jaw dropped at his words, “You fucking bastard!” I went to smack his chest, Lionel catching me before I could touch him.

“That’s enough!” Lionel yelled. Those around us on the sidewalks decided to walk the other way, looking back and whispering. “Everybody get in the car, now!”

I yanked my arm out of his hold, stomping towards the car. I took the seat next to the window, keeping my eyes glued on the outside world as tears welled up in my eyes. I felt the seat shift next to as Lionel let out a sigh. Jake and Josh were across from us, the whole vehicle going deathly silent.

When we arrived at the studio, the guy’s manager greeted us, saying that the network decided to give us one more chance. We were to be on our best behavior or else. I honestly didn’t care at this point, pushing past everyone and making my way to my dressing room. All I wanted was to get ready and be done with it. As I entered my dressing room, the sight of Henry sitting on the couch nearly gave me a heart attack.

“Shit, you scared me.” I clutched my chest. His face remained void of expression. “Where did you go this morning?”

He shifted in the seat, “For a run. I could ask the same of you?”

I took a seat at the vanity, “I went to speak with Lionel about the show and he got a call that Jake got arrested while I was in there. I went with him and Josh to police station.”

Henry sat there, shaking his head. “I’m sure there was a good reason for his arrest.”

I stayed silent. He removed himself from the couch, coming up behind me. He leaned his head down next to my face, his eyes connecting with mine in the mirror. “Should I be worried?” His voice low.

I shook my head, “No.” My voice barely audible.

I felt his hands slowly run down my arms as his lips ghosted over my neck. I turned in the chair, connecting our lips as my hands tangled in his hair. It was no question that I was stressed, and I needed a little stress relief before the show started…

The dress was sequined, glued to my body like a glove.

I could barely walk down the hallway as I made my way to the side stage. We were five minutes away from going live, the audience members talking and smiling as I peeked behind the curtains. Butterflies danced around my stomach as my hands shook in fear. I was afraid I would fall flat on my face. I was afraid I would forget the lyrics. I was terrified of being seen in public, in front of millions of people.

“You look stunning!” Josh’s voice sounded. “Like a Golden Globe statue.”

I gave him a smile, “You look pretty good yourself.” His suit was glittered with rhinestones and sequins as his feet remained bare. “Where’s the rest of the crew?”

He explained that Sam and Danny were tuning their instruments and that Jake was still in the dressing room, supposedly still getting ready. “Maybe you should go check on him.” Josh suggested. I looked at him like he was crazy. “Just, please?”

Even though my brain was telling me to keep my ass there, I rolled my eyes and did as he asked. My heels clicked against the concrete floor as I made my way to his dressing room. His name was written on a piece of paper, along with a cigarette burn. I hesitated for a moment before knocking on the wooden structure.

“Go away!” Jake’s voice muffled by the door.

I twisted the handle as smoke and the smell of alcohol flooded my senses. Besides the cologne he had worn for years, these are the two smells accompanied him wherever he went.

“Are you fucking de-“

He stopped mid-sentence as he looked at me, his brown eyes wide. “Josh said it’s time to get started.”

He looked away, sitting back down in front of the mirror. There was a half empty bottle of Jack on the vanity, a smoldering cigarette sitting next to it. “You think you own the place, barging in here with your sexy dress and all.”

“You’re drunk.” I muttered, starting to feel insecure.

“No-“His eyes locked with mine. “I’m fucking sober for once.”

The room became silent. I watched as he stared at himself in the mirror, no emotions present on his face. He was dressed in a similar outfit as Jake, the buttons open halfway in his usual style.

“Are you coming?”

“Did you?”

I was taken back by his question, “What?”

He began to smirk, “Did you come?” He slowly raised from his chair, stalking towards me.

I went to turn towards the door, no longer wanting to be in the same room as him. His hand wrapped around my forearm, turning me into his body as his other hand slammed the dressing room door shut. “What’s the rush, Erin?”

My heart started to race as that name slipped past his lips. Erin was a nickname that only Jake used in private. There were many nicknames that could come from the name Catherine. During my childhood, my mom would call me Cat or Catie. Jake was the only one who picked Erin out of the name.

“Don’t call me that.” I whispered. I tried to get away, only for his grip to grow tighter.

“You didn’t answer the question.” His voice deep.

I searched his eyes, trying to send him a signal to let me go. “I don’t know what you’re talking abo-“

“The whole fucking studio heard you fucking your fiancé.” His words cut like a knife. “Now-“ His eyes dipping down my body, a smile forming across his face. “Did he make you cum?”

I watched as Josh, Sam, and Danny spoke with one another on the stage. Memories of our time together flooding my mind as a smile formed on my face.

“Well as I live and fucking breath-“Josh’s voice sounded. “Is that Ms. Catherine Zayler I see?” He quickly ran down the stage steps, pulling me into his arms, spinning me around. I could feel tears well up in my eyes as we embraced one another. “Didn’t think you were gonna show up, kid.” He whispered.

I slowly pulled away, his hands still attached to my hips, “You can thank Lionel and Vivian.”

“Well thank you Lionel and Vivian.” We both laughed.

He released his hold on me as Danny stepped up, wrapping his arms around me. We stayed silent as we hugged, not really needing to say anything.

“What am I –“Sam yelled. “Chopped liver?” He pushed Danny out of his way, pulling me into his tall frame. I wrapped my arms around his middle, his bare chest bringing me warmth that I didn’t know I needed. “About time you show up.” He spoke softly. I just nodded my head, staying silent. Even though we had a rocky start, these guys were my family. I had lasting memories with all of them, good and bad. “Who’s the square?” Sam whispered in my hair. I already knew he was talking about Henry.

I slowly pulled away from him, giving him a small smile as I walked back towards Henry and Lionel. Henry held his out for me to take, pulling me into his suit-clad body. “Josh, Sam, Danny- “I spoke. “I would like for you to Henry, my fiancé.”

Their faces slowly fell as Henry gave them a small wave. “It’s a pleasure to meet you all.” He smiled. They looked at one another, unsure as to what to say. “Catherine spoke briefly of you all but it’s nice to finally put faces with names.”

Josh cleared his throat, “Well this is a surprise.” My eyes narrowed, “Excuse me?”

I watched as Josh ran a hand down his face, turning to look at Sam and Danny. “I’m just saying that it would have been nice to know that you were engaged before you arrived.”

“Why does it matter?” I could feel Henry’s grip on my hand tighten. “It’s not like I’ve heard from you guys.”

“The telephone works both ways, sweetheart.” Sam voiced. “You know our address; you could have written a letter.”

I rolled my eyes, dropping the subject. First of all, my engagement to Henry was just between our friends and his family. My parents didn’t even know that I was engaged. I had told Lionel and Vivian but that was it. I didn’t think I needed to inform people I hadn’t spoke too in a number of years.

“Shall we get started with rehearsals?” Lionel announced, knowing the situation was about to become one that neither parties wanted.

I gave Henry a quick kiss before following the guys onto the stage.

“Okay-“ The director smiled. “Who’s ready to have some fun?”

I mentally rolled my eyes as Josh let out a noise.

“We’re missing someone.” Tony spoke. “Where’s Jake?”

I looked over at Josh, watching as he looked back at his brother and bandmate. “He wouldn’t answer the phone this morning.” Josh announced. “I don’t even know if he came back to the hotel last night or this morning.”

Tony let out a sigh, his eyes squeezing shut. “How are we supposed to have a show when one of the main leads is missing?”

“Have Sam or Danny be the main lead.” I suggested.

The sound of Danny’s drumstick hitting the floor caused everyone to turn as he hurried to pick it up.

“I don’t know if you know how television works, Ms. Zayler-“ Tony began. “But you can’t just change up things up when you want.”

He was right – I didn’t know how television worked. I DID know that when an irresponsible guitar player doesn’t show up, he gets pushed back and replaced by someone that is there and ready to work. “Well, Mr. Tony-“ I replied. “Sam and Danny are here, and they are more than capable of being leads in this show. “Anger starting to take over my body. “It is our show after all, not yours.”

Sam slowly raised his hand, “Yes, Sam?”

He looked back towards Danny, “ I think my friend here can agree with me on this but we don’t want to be leads.” My face fell, mentally kicking myself. “We just want to play our instruments and that’s it.”

“I second that notion.”

Jake walked out of the shadows; a cocky smirk plastered on his face. Josh muttered a few words before jogging down to where he stood, his face growing red in color as he took his anger out on Jake. Sam and Danny stood off to the sides just in case they had to break the two apart, which happened more than a person would think.

He looked the same. His hair longer and darker than I remembered. He wore his signature sunglasses as if he was Roy Orbison. His cloth shirt was halfway unbuttoned, showing off his tan chest. His trousers hung loose on his hips, his faithful Chelsea Boots rounding out the outfit. I stayed on stage as the brothers spoke, not wanting to get in the way even though I wanted to give Jake a piece of my mind for being late.

“Can we continue?” Tony directed towards the guys. “Times ticking and money is being wasted.” Whoever chose this man needed to be fired.

The guys slowly walked back to the stage, Jake pausing for a moment, his body facing mine. I looked away, focusing my attention back on Tony. “Okay, well since our final lead has arrived, I need the twins to stand next to Cate. That will be your spot for the show and the two others will be in the background.”

“They have names.” Jake spoke.

“Excuse me?” Tony crossed his arms over his chest. “What did you say?”

Jake stepped forward as Josh moved towards his brother, “They have fucking names.” Jake’s voice low. “Sam and Danny – Not those other two.”

Josh pushed his brother back, whispering something in his ear before walking back to his spot. “Carry on…”

The rest of the rehearsal was a nightmare.

We barely got through the opening song before Jake stormed off stage, hurling curse words towards Josh and Tony. The dialog that the writers had created was God-awful. I was bored just reading the script. I couldn’t imagine actually being in the audience and having to listen it. Josh and I practiced a few songs we had lined up, those thankfully going smooth enough to get through. It was obvious that this was going to be a total shit show. The writers were writing the questions for the audience members, not revealing to us that they had written. The sketches were stale and boring. Let’s not even talk about the outfits they had picked out for us. Tony finally decided to turn everyone loose, probably kicking himself for even agreeing to direct this dysfunctional event. If the network was looking for a friendly reunion special, they were in a world of hurt.

Josh had suggested that we all meet up for dinner since it had been a while since we had all been together. It was unknown if Jake would be there or in the back alley with whatever whore he picked up off the street. I only agreed to attend with the hope that he would not be there.

“That Jake guy is a real gem, isn’t he?”

I stopped doing my makeup, looking at Henry through the mirror. “What?” Unsure if I heard him correctly.

“He’s an asshole.” He stated. “He’s not very personable either.” He locked eyes with me as he straightened his tie. “I tried to introduce myself while you and his brother were looking over things and he just ignored my handshake.”

“He’s shy.” I muttered, making an excuse for Jake’s actions.

“Shy my ass- “He scoffed. “He’s a little punk that’s what he is.”

I turned back in my chair, praying to God that Jake didn’t show tonight. Henry was the type of guy that offended easily. He demanded respect and if you didn’t give it to him, well he would be sure to let you know that he was unhappy. Jake denying his handshake was the epitome of disrespect in Henry’s eyes. Even if you don’t like the guy, you never deny a man’s handshake.

“Since when do you speak to guys like Jake?” I asked. “You never talk to guys like him or even associate with them.”

“I figured since they are your friends, I would put in an effort and be nice.”

I stared at myself in the mirror, his words going in one ear and out the other. Henry only spoke to those that were in his social level. If you didn’t come from “old money” Henry didn’t want anything to do with you. How we ended up together is still a mystery because I didn’t come from money. He knew nothing of the struggles that my family faced while I was growing up. He didn’t know that our house was owned by the coal company or the fact that there were times when we went to bed hungry and afraid the county would come and take us kids away. Jake and Josh didn’t have it as rough as I did but they definitely weren’t up to Henry’s standards.

“Should be an interesting night.” He muttered.

I stood up from the vanity, grabbing my dress off the bed. “He probably won’t even be there. He’s not one to come out and socialize when there’s free booze in his room.”

We were the last to arrive at the restaurant.

I quickly ran inside, avoiding the flashbulbs and questions the photographers yelled out. The maître ‘d walked us to the table Josh had reserved, seating us between Sam and Lionel. My eyes instantly connected with Jake’s, surprised that he was even here.

“About time you show up!” Josh smiled. “I was about to send the police after you.”

I gave him a smile as I ordered myself a glass of water. “Fashion takes time, Joshua.”

“Mmh.” Jake shook his head, downing the rest of his scotch. I watched as he slowly pulled out a pack of cigarettes, connecting his eyes with mine as he lit it. I instantly looked away, focusing my attention on what Josh was talking about.

“When did this happen?” Jake’s voice sounded. I looked back at him as he stared between Henry and me.

“Pardon?” Henry asked. Jake let out a laugh, smoke billowing from his lips as everyone’s attention was now on high alert.

“Jake, knock it off.” Josh muttered next to his brother.

Jake shifted in his eat, his blazer opening more exposing his partially buttoned shirt. “I’m just asking a question.”

“Two and half years.” I spoke. “We’ve been together for two and half years.” Jake’s eyes bored into mine. “Any more questions, Jake?”

I could see Lionel down the rest of his drink off to my side, already knowing that shit was about to hit the fan.

“Fast mover, isn’t she.” Jake laughed. “Where’d she pick you up at, Mr. Ivy League?”

“What’s your problem, man.” Henry spoke, his anger starting to spike.

“He’s drunk, that’s his fucking problem.” I interjected. “That’s always been his problem.” I didn’t want it to be this way. I didn’t want to pick up where we had last left off. I thought for a second he would behave himself and not act like the drunk asshole he had been the last time we saw one another.

“Stop it, Cate.” Lionel whispered. “It’s not worth it, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, why don’t you listen to Lionel for once, Catherine.” Jake sneered. “Lionel knows best, right? He knew what was best for not only your career but for your fucking marriage too, right babe?”

I picked up my glass, throwing the contents across the table, hitting Jake directly in the face. Josh instantly jumped up as water ran off the table as Jake sat there, water running down his face, his hair and shirt soaked.

“I don’t understand why you’re so stressed out.”

I ripped more dresses off their hangers, throwing them out to my sister to be packed. “Yeah, sure - you guys have history together, but it’s been five years. I’m sure he’s moved on and you’ve moved on as well. You’re engaged for goodness sakes, Cate. You don’t have to worry about being around your ex.” Vivian spoke. “Just do what you need to do and it’ll all be over before you know it.”

“That’s easy for you to say-“ I stomped out of the closest, throwing myself on the bed. “If the man didn’t drive me insane, I would still be with him. I haven’t seen or heard from Jake in over five years and now I’m flying all the way to California to film a television show where we have to act like we like each other. I’m not mature enough for this, Vivian. The last time we saw each other was on the steps of the Nashville Court House throwing insults and curse words at each other. Our whole dynamic was toxic from the start and now I have to go out on a stage, in front of God knows how many people, and act like I fucking like the guy.” I paused, becoming nauseous. “I can’t do this, Vivian.”

I felt the bed shift as she laid down beside me. “Catherine- “She spoke softly. “You and Jake were super young when all that went down. You guys let the Hollywood lifestyle get in the way and became the opposite of who the two of you really are. Just go out there and do what you do best- sing your fucking lungs out and make your fans happy.”

Everything about this trip was weighing on me and I hadn’t even left yet. My throat felt tight, making my brain think I was having trouble breathing. Just the thought of seeing the man I was once madly in love with was causing me to go into a tailspin. Our last memories together replayed in my mind like a fucking filmstrip, each detail magnified. I could still tell you what he wore, how his long hair blew in the winter wind, and how each word was sharper than the last.  

“Plus-“Vivian spoke again. “Henry will be with you, so you won’t have to be there alone.”

Henry was the total opposite of Jake. He worked in a bank, wore fancy suites, and despised the “racket” of today’s music. He liked to hang out at the country club, playing golf with his rich, banker friends. We would host dinner parties every other week, entertaining those that frequented the club as well as those that were in town for business. I never expected to become that type of person. I didn’t grow up around rich people. My dad was a miner, who would come home covered in coal dust, but made sure to look his best when it came to Sunday Service. My mom was a simple homemaker who never made it past the third grade. Even though she wasn’t considered “book smart”, she knew the ways of the world and made sure to teach her girls those same lessons. They weren’t very happy to hear of my dreams of becoming a singer. They definitely weren’t very happy to see their daughter getting carried out of a restaurant by security for a drunken brawl with the husband they forbid her to marry. I guess you could say my life had come full circle at such a young age. I made a name for myself, married and divorced a man, disappointed my family, and now I’m restarting the circle by getting married again. Now I know how Elizabeth Taylor feels…

I was on my fifth cigarette since getting off the plane.

I watched anxiously as the California scenery passed by the tinted windows. Every scenario that Vivian and I had talked about was running through my mind, each ending with a disastrous outcome. Henry had tried to comfort me, but the help of Jack Daniels was more beneficial at this point.

“Why so nervous, darling?” Henry’s hand sliding up my exposed leg. “I’ve never seen you so nerve racked.” He had no idea the history the guys and I had, especially Jake and I’s history. I had told him that I was married before and that it just didn’t work out due to me not being home and away on the road. I didn’t tell him of the drugs or alcohol we ingested every weekend or daily for Jake’s case. I didn’t tell him of the constant fighting or unplanned pregnancies that ended before Jake had a clue. I also didn’t tell him of the tailspin I put myself through as each child disappeared into a distant memory. My life prior to Henry was kept between myself, Vivian, and Lionel.

“Just pre-performance jitters.” I smiled. “I haven’t been on a stage in a couple years – Afraid I may have lost my touch.”

His hand crept under my skirt, “You’ll do great-“ His breath hot on my neck. I let out a content sigh as his lips fluttered across my skin, my core aching for his touch. “You want me to help you relax?”

I nodded my head as I connected our lips, his tongue running across my bottom lip. He pushed my skirt up the rest of the way, my lace underwear under his fingertips. My moans filled the small space as he pushed the material out of the way, teasing me as he ran his over my folds. “Beg for it.” He pulled on my lip. “I wanna hear you beg.”

“Please.” I moaned. “I need it, Henry.”

A wicked smirk appeared on his face as he slowly moved down my body, pulling my body in a laying position. My legs perched on his shoulders as his tongue had its way with my pussy. My moans grew louder as my hands ran through his short hair, pulling in ecstasy. At that moment, the thought of doing the same thing with the man I dreaded seeing popped into my head. There had been many times where I found myself in the same position as Jake moved his tongue like a sex crazed serpent. He had me clawing and pulling on anything I could get my hands on, his hair being my favorite. The harder I pulled, the deeper he went. We tore the limos apart, desperate to touch one another.

“Stop.” I blurted out.

Henry instantly stopped, looking up at me concerned. “What’s wrong?”

I pushed his body away from mine, readjusting my underwear and pulling down my skirt. I felt embarrassed. “Catherine?” Henry spoke. “What’s happened, sweetheart?”

I felt like crying. The fucking thoughts of Jake and I clogging my thoughts when they should have been focused on Henry. “I’m sorry.” I muttered. I wiped away the stray tear that fell from my manicured lashes.

Henry sat there for a moment, still trying to understand what happened, probably thinking he was in the wrong. “It wasn’t you.” I cleared up. “I just-“ I paused. “The nerves are getting the best of me.”

He adjusted his clothes, staying silent as the car became painfully quiet. I never pushed him away like that. I decided not to push the issue any further. Thankfully the car arrived at the studio a couple minutes later, Henry not even waiting for the car to come to a full stop. I watched as he stood off to the side as the driver helped me out of the limo, a blank stare in eyes knowing what had just happened.

“There she is!” Lionel’s voice sounded as he walked towards us, a smile plastered on his aging face. “I thought you ran off to Mexico or something.” He pulled me into his arms, my nerves slightly calming. “Glad you’re here, kiddo.” I nudged my face further into his neck, inhaling his expensive cologne. I chose not to say anything, giving him the answer, he already knew. “He’s not here yet.” He whispered. My head jerked up, my eyes connecting with his.

“What do you mean he’s not here yet?” My anger starting to raise. “Is Josh here?”

Lionel nodded his head, explaining that everyone but Jake had arrived. “Josh said that he tried calling him before he left but Jake didn’t answer. He said Jake never came back to his hotel room this morning.”

My grandmother and aunt weren’t any better when it came to being caring and pleasant. Even though they didn’t have hardly a penny to their names, they still acted like they were as rich as Vanderbilt. They lived in a shack that my grandmother bought with what little money she had from selling her jewels and fancy clothing. When they found Emma and I, they made us sleep in the cellar across from the house, telling me that it was too small for the baby and me. It’s not like we would take up much room, she was small, and I could curl up like a wooly worm in the sun. As we grew older, my aunt found herself a suiter, quit wealthy for that matter. I would listen as my grandmother groomed her to become the type of wife she needed to be. He had the money, and my grandmother wanted a piece of it. When he would come around in his horse and wagon, she would push Emma and I deep into the cellar, demanding we stay put as not be seen.

My aunt’s marriage lasted two years before the pox got her husband and the bullet got her. She was found near his grave, a single bullet placed in her temple. My grandmother was besides herself for a day or two before she turned her attention to Emma and me. For some reason, she despised poor Emma, treating her like farm animal. She would call her ugly names, hitting and pushing her around like she doesn’t belong. I would try to comfort her, only to get slapped across the face for doing so. After my aunt’s death, all the money that she had gained after being married went to my grandmother. I wasn’t sure how much she had garnered but it got her out of that shack and into the home that they shared before the hand of death took them. She bought Emma and I dresses, saying that she would gonna make us into classy women. She would beat us until we knew how to sit right, speak accordingly, and taught us the ways to make a man happy.

It was on my 17th birthday that she announced that we were going out West to find me a suitable husband. Apparently, the men in town were nothing but drunks and vagrants, and she wasn’t gonna have me follow in my mother’s footsteps. She had heard some of the other women talking about it in town and decided that it was “best” for Emma and me. She hired an older man to drive the wagon, promising him money once we reached the desired destination of a place called Colorado. He explained to her that we would have to take a steamed powered locomotive from Georgia to a town in a state called Texas. My grandmother was against getting on a locomotive, saying that it wasn’t ladylike to take any kind of transportation. I guess the man explained to her that the locomotive was the only way to get from our state to the next. She begrudgingly obliged to the ride, making sure Emma and I were dressed in our best dresses. With our worldly possessions locked away in trucks and cases, we boarded the iron contraption, heading for a new land.

The train had two sections – those that had money and those that didn’t. Grandmother made sure that we were in the section that housed the wealthy class. There were men that went up and down the aisle, offering food and beverages with smiles on their faces. The windows allowed those to look out at the vast, dense forest that passed us by, untouched by man or machine. I watched as those around us ate, spoke, and slept. Grandmother kept to herself, not indulging in conversation with the others. She probably thought that she was too good, and these people were not up to her high society standards. “Beautiful isn’t it?”

My head turned from the window, a middle-aged man smiling back at me. “Pardon?” I asked.

He shifted in his seat, pointing towards the window. “The landscape-“He paused. “It’s beautiful.” I nodded my head, smiling softly as the sun shined. “Not as beautiful as you are though.”

My eyes grew wide, my face heating up like a hot iron. “Don’t be embarrassed.” He grinned. “Your beauty is untamed just like that land.”

I wasn’t sure what to say. I never had a man speak to me like that before. I chose to keep quiet, a hint of a smile on my face.

“Where you headed?” The man’s voice sounded again.

“Texas?” I answered with a question. “I think that’s what they call it.”

His smile grew larger as he nodded his head. “Honey, you and I are headed in the same direction.” He slowly removed himself from his seat. He was a tall, slender man that towered over the others as he stood in front me. “May I?” He gestured towards Emma’s empty seat. She had gone with Grandmother to find the restroom. Before I could say yes or no, he took it upon himself to sit, very close for that matter. “Who’re you traveling with, miss?” His hot breath fanned across my face. “Hope not a husband.”

I looked down at my hands, ringing them as I do when I’m nervous. “No, sir.” I muttered.

His cupped hand grabbed a hold of my chin, gently turning my head to face him. “Don’t do that.” His eyes searched mine. “Don’t look away embarrassed.” His electric blue eyes stared into mine, causing me to become uncomfortable. “What’s your name, sweetheart?” His voice low.

Before I could answer, a fast movement caused him to drop my face and jump up in the seat.

“Get your filthy hands off of her!” My grandmother yelled. She continued to hit him with her bag as those around looked at the commotion. “You filthy mongrel.” His southern accent filled the train car, probably alerting the others in the next car.

“I’m sorry, ma’am!” He yelled out as each hit became worse. “I was just talking to her!”

Grandmother’s assault soon stopped as she turned her attention on me. “That looked like more than talking, dear sir.” She jerked me up by my elbow, pulling me into the aisle. “This girl is a child!” Her grip on my arm sent signals of pain as her nails dug into my skin. “You should be ashamed of yourself.” He gave me a forgiving look, “I’m sorry, miss.”

I simply nodded my head before Grandmother pushed me towards the back of the car. There was a group of open seats as my body fell into the wooden bench. I looked up at her, rage set in her eyes. “You little trollop.” Her words dripped with venom. “You’re just like your mother-“  Her hand smacking against my cheek. “A common whore.”

Tears fell from my eyes, making my cheek burn even more. “I take your sister to the bathroom and come back to you spreading your legs to a man you met on this God forsaken locomotive. I thought I taught you better than that, Elizabeth.” Her hand once again connecting with my cheek.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I pleaded, moving as far away from her as I could. My cheek felt like it was throbbing as I held my hand against it. “Please, I’m sorry.”

Emma stood behind her, tears brimming in her eyes as she stood there helpless.

I watched in fear as Grandmother took her seat in front of me, fixing her hat and smoothing out the wrinkles in her dress as if she didn’t just hit me. “If you didn’t act like a little whore, I wouldn’t have to hit you, Elizabeth.