This is how I waste my time.

The Old Guard saw the “people won’t watch movies if the main cast isn’t white or American”-stereotype, and just decided to say “Fuck that. The 6 main actors are South African, American, Belgian, Dutch, Italian and British.”

The Old Guard saw the “men aren’t supposed to talk about their feelings”-stereotype, and just decided to say “Fuck that. All main male characters have scenes talking about their feelings and emotions, which are relevant to the plot and the character’s motivations.”

Hell, The Old Guard saw all the stereotypical gay tropes, and just said “Fuck ‘em all.”

“Bury your gays”-trope? Fuck that. Immortal gays.

“Gay men are fragile”-trope? Fuck that. The gays kick ass.

“The film will loose money if a character is explicitly gay, so it will just be implied through subtext”-stupidity? Fuck that. They flirt, they kiss, there is an entire monologue dedicated to the love these gays have for each other.

And on top of all of that, The Old Guard has a great and clever plot, amazing action scenes, good pacing, great music, emotional beats that don’t drag the story down, and a well-executed setup for a sequel.

thx bby 🥺🥺 and yes, I do have a bunch of headcanons about them!

decided to ditch the crusades together after they found out they were immortal and essentially went touring North Africa and the Maghrib as they grew to understand each other and fell in love

settled in Norman Balarm/Palermo for like a century because it was the first place that came to mind when thinking of somewhere both of them could still keep their faiths while being together

Andy and Quynh found them sometime in the early 1200s, which is how they ended up at the court of Federico II trying to avoid another crusade and partly succeeding

Yusuf was 100% a poet in the Middle Ages (the poetic scene of Arab Sicilian poets at the court of Ruggero was lowkey lit, not to mention the Scuola Siciliana) and a painter in the Renaissance because that boy sure does love art in all its forms!!!

speaking of, they are both very much humanists and want to give back to humanity, but do so in quite different ways, aside from their work with the old guard -- Nicky is far more practical and material, he is definitely a protector/healer type and is more preoccupied with the immediate wellbeing of a person, while Joe is a believer in the power of the arts and thinks they can be just as healing to the spirit as a doctor is to the body, and they very much complement each other in that sense

they're both still religious, but Joe does strike me as more practicing than Nicky, who's probably the type of Catholic to only remember he should have gone to mass at Sunday night and tell himself "oh well, next time lol" and lowkey believe more in the saints than in God Himself

they have a truly ungodly amount of pet names for each other. Booker doesn't even speak Arabic but he probably has acquired more pet names through sheer osmosis than the average speaker would ever know

Joe has entire sketchbooks dedicated to Nicky I'm 🥺🥺🥺 there's probably drawings dating back to the 1300s in there and solely because the earlier paper has deteriorated so much I love these sappy husbands

Kylo Ren is flawless.

He has six Knights of Ren and a crossguard lightsaber.

I hear he’s shredded.

I hear he’s the new Supreme Leader… of the First Order!

His favorite hobby is daydreaming that Rey will take his hand.

One time, he met Rey through Force FaceTiming.

And she told him he was a monster.

Chapters: 3/? Fandom: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Original Female Character(s), bellamy blake/cassiana miles Characters: Bellamy Blake, Octavia Blake, Clarke Griffin, Abby Griffin, Marcus Kane, Cassiana Miles, Original Female Character(s), Jasper Jordan, Monty Green, Lincoln (The 100), Jackson (The 100), Lexa (The 100) Additional Tags: Arranged Marriage, alternative universe, AU, population control Summary:

Imagine you wake up on April Fool’s day. You log into tumblr. Immediately your dash is encompassed with Misha’s face. Everyone’s icon has been changed to that same, staring, blank face. You check your followers. Every single one of them has that face. You try going into your normal tags. Even those are filled with Misha’s face. Nowhere is safe. Misha is everywhere. You go to Twitter to complain about it. Misha’s face is there too.

Within hours of the event starting, there’s already a wiki entry and an urban dictionary entry for it. Gifs that you may have recognized of being popular at that time have Misha’s face photoshopped over them. Repeating patterns of Misha’s face. Misha illusions. Misha’s face OVER MISHA’S FACE. 

Eventually, even Misha is like, “Yeah, this is fucking weird. What the fuck are you guys doing.” But it doesn’t stop. People hit post limit. They can’t post anymore. Suddenly, you notice that your dash is starting to thin out, slowly, one by one. There’s a hypothetical tumbleweed bouncing across your dash by 10pm that night. 

Anyone who tried to blacklist the Mishapocalypse suddenly found that their dashboard was sent into the shadow realm. Nothing is there. They tried to unfollow people who were participating in it. They had no blog content at the end of the day. 

The next day, we all wake up and continue on with our lives like nothing ever happened. It was like a fever dream. What the fucked happened. Where did our lives go for that day.