my heart says yes but my mom says no

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@oh-hail-n0
my heart says yes but my mom says no

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when a fruit becomes a father
she is on to you bubba

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OKAY so i just saw the most ridiculous thing at the store today
so we come across this thing
and we discover you can turn it inside out and
ITS HELLO KITTY I’M
HSE’S EVEN GOT HER OWN LITTLE CHICKEN DRUMSTICK IM SO DONE
why the fuck
Did I need it? No. Did I buy it? Yes.
“how’s the semester going?”
THIS WAS BACK IN 2014 IM SCREAMING

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IM SCREAMING THIS IS AMAZING I WANT ONE
who is she

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me receiving an email from a company i applied to
me opening it and seeing yet another fucking automated rejection message
So this kid fell asleep during class and he’s still there after school so we decided to play a prank on him
but what happened when he woke up
quick story once my English teacher had a slightly off and very religious borderline radical Christian student that fell asleep during class once, and there was one atheist girl in the class
so when he fell asleep, all the students except the atheist left their backpacks and jackets on their chairs and left the room
and the kid woke up and started to panic, looked over and saw the atheist girl reading a book, still in the classroom
she turned the page, returned his glance, and said “Hey.”
and the kid freaked the fuck out because he sincerely thought he missed the rapture