Writings On The Wall

I don't beg. I don't fuss.

I don't scream. I don't cuss.

But when I am thinking about you opening my thighs like the gates to a heavenly surprise,

I throw that all out the window and I begin to gush.

Oh hush. You know I am proudly nasty.

Only for you though is how I want it be.

But I remember first meeting you and felt like it was a dream come true.

"Oh you like to grow and heal too."

"Hmm tell me more about the things you usually do?"

"Hiking and meditating..."

"You're artistic, that's so stimulating"

In our first meetings I never seen you sexually.

Yes you are fine made out of the earths strongest clay

You probably smell like an oak tree on a summer's day

But I never seen you that type of way.

I even had to deny you and thought we would never speak again.

I am human so I uttered an hello back. I do need friends

My feelings for you turned logic although I feel physically tipsy.

Why would I give another what's suppose to be under cover

It could be all for you; I felt my head go into blunder

Cuz yes! this makes sense but fuck where did these feelings come from

Like yes we have common interests but I didn't think I'd feel this

But with you...

I feel a sense of peace.

Ease.

I feel like I can breathe and time has a way of slowing its self down around us.

We in two different time zones and two different states.

But we be on timing. It's time God sees how we portioning our plates.

I share out my responsibilities one by one but I wanna aadd something else too. Im not being greedy. Im just not done

But it Wouldn't be nothing without a Woman or a Girl.✨🌱🦋

Damn, can I explain this magnifying angst in my soul?

Hmm, Here I go...

Jealousy is a real thing & I don't know where came from but it exists.

Because the mere existence of the oppressed calls on tales of old.

The range of this arrangement has narrowed down to a microscopic state.

Thin Lines have been drawn that's crosses so easily into a war of hate

So I'm grateful the range of my derangement has followed the same size cuz Now I'm a 3rd avatar state.

I am what is. A womb(man).

I breathe life into you like the trees in the sky, dancing them to come alive.

I am the tide that waves hello and goodbye the depths of me is where you start and you die.

Cuz,

I can be as grounded as you need. Pressurizing you into a gem even if you were a seed.

Cuz my magik is fire. There's no other like me that you don't aspire

So tell me what's so good about being a man? (Females too, ha) You are what you can't stand.

A Deliverance of Divinity called a Womb and not man

Man, you thirst us like you playin' a tournament in 90°, 10 UV weather like Sahara Sands without any hydration.

Understand me, I am not the N- E -O. I will deprive you of your salvation

Spritual I am, I am a savage. Check the records of my nation.

& I'm not sorry even if this declaration ever creates a deprivation

Cuz when you're species is out of role, you are out of control and become a bottom feeder and a Crustacean.

Like crabs in a barrel!

You'll never see because I flow swiftly and light

and Currently, I am a silent storm in My Wake.

& I am okay. Because I am,

A Womb, not a man

Take my pose-ition to levitate into a higher land.

My inspired plan from Orishas that stand above all.

We are what you need. But I am not your O- N -E.

I guess, you can stay on top of your knees.

Thank you for reading 🙏🏽✨🌱

A Mother’s Tale

Some may say you are a mistake;

a creation of abomination

diverting my dreams and hopes from my divine destination.

Oh how BEAUTIFUL was she

Now oh so big and wobbly

They’ll say she’ll lose figure and lose her life

for opening her legs only for one night.

But who the fuck cares!

People look down upon women who are pregnant;

Suddenly they become paralyzed and crippled into a new segment.

Of fake Awes and Wows in translation of judgmental POWs!

I can feel them like soon to be kicks in my stomach

Feeling the judgement, feeling the disappointment.

But jokes on them

 they are the ones who keep me strong,

This baby inside of me was never wrong.

Everything happens to bridge itself to a song

And I will get along with the life unfolding in front of me.

Pressure is set upon my reality

Unapologetic of being Unafraid;

Your charade no longer has me engulfed by walls of a psychedelic cave.

I can breathe air filled of un-black smoke,

Of un-POISON jokes, and of Un-Natural catastrophes

I can breathe of love willingly; exhaling that out

WITHOUT fear on my mind

Living in grounds with sounds of soulless demons

 harming the Earthed Kind.

Things that go bump in night used to give me a fright

and expressed my chest to press against my entire being to lay like a possum and rest and WAIT to be free;

I thought I needed to be like a Mole under the earth

Crawling and sneaking, scrounging and Peaking

Living life laying eggs in response to their dirt.

Breathing and eating

Believing, only seeing

In visions of monsters I can feel without sight

Depleting all my energy striking my field of light

My force was beginning to live in a fearful choice

UP, close, and personal was the only voice becoming domineering and steering me in the wrong direction,

Staring me down as if I was plague by their infection!

I dont have to manifest the solutions to their mess.

The Divine One Ultimately

Is the only to fix this catastrophe

Then we will live free

and Learn Life successes that were held secretively;

For right now though,

I will maneuver through crowds of mindless them openly.

Here I AM The Unapologetic honey bee,

Using philanthropy braking off their money tree 

I’ll produce sweet truth through the sunny forces of three.

Self-owned self-known Foundation will be laid

There is no SLEEPIN allowed in these streets

I can’t warm up alone in my sheets

So lying down is NOT option

Because I won’t let you, tycoon, Fuck me over again

You and I aren’t friends so don’t tell me what to do

Not to move over or strip for you

I will not bare myself to the conditions held over me

For you to rape my rights right in front of we

I have woken consciously; freeing myself from your roofie

I cannot fathom nor lose

In a state where I cannot move

So sick and tired, sick and tired by these counterproductive political crudes; 

Mhmm society you just proved

Why building is a waste of time 

Here I was… fast asleep on my couch after watching a delightful movie. This is probably going to be the last light thing in presence until I have children of my own. At the brinks of 2:00 AM (EST), Donald J. Trump is elected our 45th president.

 I asked myself if this had any significant meaning, the number 45? Does this remind any of you the year a fascist party in Germany fell and the year proceeding who was born. I would only think what end there is revamping in U.S. 

Hey, is it about time that the one social constructed race ruled and were the only ones to rule, right? Is it about time to kick up anti-black, policing, and capitalistic means up a dozen notches, right? I think it’s about that time for the world to be no longer the world. See the natural balance of the world was already out of place. No that Trump is president that balance is on one side turning the other side upside down. A white supremacist capitalistic man for president has is common, but it is uncommon when his entire BEING is so. When he penetrates love with cross bows of fiery hate (only for gains of $$$). And he BLATANTLY does not care. 

But is this all on our Dear old President? No. How he feels consciously, millions of Americans feel the same subconsciously. What a great strategy; luring the blindness and mindless who have internalize their “racism” and xenophobia. 

I can no longer write anymore because I am literally feeling my anatomy weaken by the thought of this man as our leader. Sign 3 is clear…

Yesterday I voted for my very first time (12 PM EST). Exhilarating the process was (due to the factor my mother was proud and told the crowd of my voting experience), it really was not all that. I entered my precinct ward directed behind my house within a few hundred steps. The lines where just right. The weather was just right; a-not-fall-to-almost-winter weather, to my surprise before I left I had to change out of the layers I created during my outfit setting ritual in my bedroom (sign 1). 

Inside the precinct ward, it was close to dear life I almost could not vote; I began to feel anxious although my posture and expressions were reluctantly calm. My natural asili within me ordered me to vote, though. Truth is I did not want to. As I was getting dressed, I found a loophole to not voting with the generations before me (my mother and maternal grandmother). I had the same political outlook as many melanin brothers and sisters, our voices aren’t counted in this society. I voted anyway. I knew I owed it to my ancestors who died for this and to the future generations. 

Back to my anxiety, I honestly did not know if I was going to be able to vote. I filled out an AB for North Adams while I went to school out there. My mom was more anxious; she ALMOST seemed like she was going to sacrifice her vote just to make sure I did. This is interesting. The idea behind the real meaning behind voting. It is significant. Everything in this society is VOTED on, when you are not at the table you’ll be on the table which will seem like everything is being DICTATED if you’re on it. In a way, yes and yes. Both voting happens and dictation happens. Dictation happens because we let it happen by not voicing our opinion. Whenever we do, it is too late (look at the 2016 presidency campaign, Bernie). 

I will NOT be dictated! Give me liberty or give me death! I voted, of course reluctant still. But voted for the very first time, as a 20 year old Afro-Amerikan Female in this society. 

Voting was confusing as hell (I know my other melanin brothers and sisters who did not vote, did not vote for that very reason; confusion and being unaware) *SIGN 2*. Plain and simple I did not know who to vote for after voting for a president. I regret not using my self-determination to understand who would be on the ballots and understanding their position. I didn’t have to vote anyone, didn’t know that. But most of them held the election on their own so it it inevitable they would win; still I was not relectuant when it came to that process. The next process that took some on the foot thinking was the 5 questions that could possibly be enacted as laws. I was careful and thoughtful. Anyone who would like to discuss and exchange answers, let’s go! But I feel it is important to practice my privacy right and not disclose of that information.