hi hello !! i'm stevie, i'm 21+, my pronouns are she/they, & i'm really excited to be here with you all now that my work schedule is less hectic ! i've had my eye on infinite for a while & finally decided to join in on the fun - with my beloved baby boy, nikolai ! he's the main vocalist for phoenix, a sweetie with a heart of gold, but he also has #issues </3 pls feel free to dm me for plotting or drop a like and i'll come to you !!
look whoโs joining the infinite tour! only nikolai xiang, who is the main vocalist of phoenix. iโve heard whispers that the 26 year old is pretty cordial but lowkey neurotic. also, doesnโt he remind you of wen junhui?
tw for: substance abuse, death, abuse, homophobia, & mental illness.
background !
nikolai was born in hong kong on july 5th. he was raised there with his two brothers, one younger & one older, who both shared the same passion for music he did. the xiang's weren't a wealthy family, their father absent & an addict, leaving their mother to do p much everything by herself.
his relationship with his family was great, relying on them a lot growing up. their mother, a music teacher at their school & supporting as ever (bless her soul), uplifted & encouraged them to chase their dreams.
he looked up to his older brother a lot, basically idolizing him - desperately trying to follow his footsteps & be as effortlessly cool (as any younger sibling does tbh), even learning dance from him.
out of the 3, nikolai was always deemed most sensitive, taking literally everything to heart. he was a very sweet & outgoing kid, undoubtedly the softest.
things however took a turn when he was 12. both his older brother and mother were involved in an accident, which tragically took their lives. everything changed then, his brother & himself ending up in their father's care.
it forced him to grow up far more abruptly than any child should; he still had his younger brother to take care of. everything nikolai did from that point on was for him. he protected him from their father, never letting him lay a hand on him, basically raising him himself - they were attached at the hip.
when he turned 14, he started a job and began to save up. at this point in time he was already exhibiting symptoms of mental illness & it would go untreated until his early 20's.
some time later, nikolai began to come terms with his sexuality. he stayed closeted for a while, knowing that the people around him (brother excluded) didn't exactly "approve" of homosexuality. just a few months after his 16th birthday, his father caught him holding hands with another boy - the final straw for all of them.
he ended up getting very hurt physically & thrown out, left to the streets without a care. with nowhere to go, he was alone & afraid, but shortly after his brother joined him with the saved up money (and a handful of their dad's), & they headed for seoul to live with a recently reconnected aunt.
career !
nikolai was street cast only a few months after his move, shortly after his younger brother passed his auditions. initially he declined it because he believed his interest in music was gone, but the scouting agent didn't give up on him - showing up to pester him again a few days later. hesitantly, he finally agreed to do an audition & the rest was history.
he didn't understand why they had so much faith in some depressed kid, & would come to realize much later that it probably saved his life. days as a trainee were extremely challenging, especially with not being properly diagnosed or treated for his mental health concerns, but it gave him something to put his energy into, his passion for it quickly reigniting.
after a few years of being a trainee, nikolai was 20 when phoenix debuted !! all the hard work had finally paid off & the group headed for stardom.
he is very much the mood maker of the group ! he also enjoys doing vlives, ig lives, the works - whether he's with the members or just by himself. a lot of the time, he solo streams in the middle of the night, talking to flames centring him & filling a sort of perpetual lonely void. in these middle of the night lives, flames get to see the quieter side of him.
personality !
there are 2 very different sides to nikolai & he's open about both of them. on one hand, he's an extremely warm, friendly & just universally loved guy, known to goof off a bit and let loose while still being respectful. flames consider him very charming, though he doesn't exactly see it himself.
below the surface though is a tired and broken man. his struggles with mental health is a topic that (after years in the industry) he talks about openly & honestly. his group members & those who knew him in his trainee days are most familiar with this side of him, but he's publically an advocate for mental health, and has been vulnerable with his own.
there are times where it noticeably seeps through in things like variety show appearances & group vlives, but he generally does his best to provide the fans with good energy :( over the years he's taken a few month long hiatuses to focus on getting better.
he's still an extremely sensitive person, kind-hearted, & wears his heart on his sleeve. he would give someone the shirt off of his back, no questions asked. taking care of people is just part of who he is. he's the one who wakes up before dawn to cook breakfast for the rest of the members, the first to offer water or a jacket, constantly making sure the people around him are okay.
VERY DRAMATIC. very extra. he's known to sulk easily, & fans eat that shit up even though it's seldom intentional.
he alsoooo is a bit of a party animal. it's fine when done in moderation, here & there, but he's prone to binge drinking & indulging in that sort of behaviour, especially during difficult times. he can be messy, & it's gotten him in trouble with their manager more than a few times, though he's careful not to let it be seen by the public.
