Everything I do...

galen is... tired. it’s hardly the first time he’s thought so, it won’t be the last he’s sure. it’s heavy on his shoulder. the guilt. the responsibility. the lies. the misplaced pride of a scientist who’s invented something magnificent and yet so incredibly... wrong. if he had known... could he have done otherwise? would he have done otherwise?

“ truth is sometimes a deadlier poison than a fabrication. ” voice low as he observes as well the men and women preparing. his gaze is absent, meaning that he doesn’t see them. he sees variables. measurements. weaknesses and strenghts. he sees statistics. and yet at the end of the day he would mourn each and every one of them were they to die. even if secretly... only jyn really matters.

does it make of him a monster? many things probably would fit that bill.

a very small twitch of lips, a certain understanding passing on his features. the man is amused, albeit subtly, but he also knows. the feeling when a mask is heavy. both their masks are not quite the same, but they can relate to a point.

“I feel confused…” Galen wasn’t wrong, Bodhi truly was lost in a sea of his own mind but Galen still felt familiar. He found himself enjoying it, but he suspected the man across from him didn’t. “I can leave…if you’re busy.”

Could someone be busy while they were locked up, Bodhi didn’t know, he never had been but he wasn’t a great thinker. Perhaps more clever men found ways to entertain themselves in cells in ways he didn’t. 

With his hands returning to his thighs, stroking them idly, Bodhi tried to reclaim some of the focus he had before Scarif. His mind was in tatters then but he managed to focus, if only slightly. Letting his eyes slip closed Bodhi tried to force himself into the mindset of a man in a war zone, hoping the stress would bring him clarity. 

Without really thinking he spoke. “I was on Eadu. I saw you, on the platform…Cassian made me go find a ship. I got Jyn off Eadu. Cassian was sent to kill you, I didn’t know when I took him to you, but he didn’t shoot you.”

Of course, Galen would have known if he’d been shot by a sniper, but Bodhi was speaking more for his own sake. “I stole an Imperial transport.”

this time, the sound that left him was darkly amused.

“ not really busy, no. ”

he softened his features. he had no right to bitterness and none of it should be aimed at the younger man in front of him. who clearly had suffered more than he had. he wouldn’t stop feeling guilty for that so could he stop thinking about it. thinking about the metallic hand bodhi had shown and galen’s mind had just registered. as if galen had been trying to ignore it during most of their conversation.

it explained the word ‘grenade’ anyway. and told him it hadn’t left bodhi alive without consequences. loss were frequent in war. but bodhi could have avoided it all if it wasn’t for him.

“ and... if you wish, i would like for you to stay. you are... the first friendly face i have seen in a while, now. ”

but then bodhi started talking again. and what he said explained a lot of what had transpired on eadu ( except the part where he had apparently been rescued. by whom? who would ever know? ) and his heart seemed to beat slightly faster with the memory. the stress had been intense. krennic’s gaze on him had made him nauseous. so had the blatant murder of the other scientists.

not a good memory. he forced his mind to focus on bodhi and not on the very vivid images in his brain.

“ i saw jyn. for an instant, after the explosion. i passed out afterwards. ”

he wondered a moment what had made cassian change his mind.

“ where did you go from there? ”

was there one tiny hint of pride? misplaced pride even? perhaps. galen was a scientist first and often it made him overlook the human price. oh, of course, in this situation, he didn’t overlook it. he knew all about it, was horrified by it, but the death star, named project stardust in his files, if it hadn’t been made for destruction, was still one of the greatest achievement of his long life.

and the only one he hoped that would be so catastrophic. the shame was already enough for this one.

“ nevertheless, it has everything to do with science and nothing to do with magic. ”

anything not to talk about how uncomfortable his creation made him. how this child of krennic and his would become the only thing he’d be known for.

Cassian’s hands curled into fist and he threw a look toward K-2 as if to tell him to not even think about speaking. The Captain forced a small smile to cross his lips. “No offense, Galen but at least I know that the people on my side will always be there for me.” He all but hissed, uncurling his fist and inhaling deeply. “Yes, sir it is.” He shifted his eyes to look at his feet and wrinkled his nose as he tried not to bare his teeth. “Yes I have. But I have no idea what that has to do with what i do.”