Of the Bleeding Heart

FFXIV Endwalker - Reaper: Victory Pose

Here’s a quick version of the Reaper victory pose we were shown yesterday at the Fan Fest, slowed down slightly to make it more achievable~

On the one hand i’m so angry and upset that he isn’t more of a popular character. That he lived such a horrid life and had everything stolen from him, manipulated and tossed aside to fuel a sick “rejoining” by shadowless creatures pulling the strings. 

His best friend betrayed him, with all the love in her heart, because she felt as though she had no other choice. And he had to take an axe to his best friends, take their very lives, to try and fix his own mistake 

Because it was his mistake. Cylva bid him to strike her down, and the world would be primed for a Calamity. But in sparing her, in making this last heroic act, he doomed his world. And then as the Flood started to swallow up his home, starting with distant lands, all he could do was stare, and come to the realization that it was his fault. Because he had love in his heart.

But no, that’s victim blaming. Because it wasn’t his fault at all, it was the Ascian’s fault.

Another one of these shadowless ones comes, wearing the white, the light that he hates so much, telling him that there’s a way to fix it. that he can make this right. All he needs to do is sell his soul, become the heartless creature that Cylva bid him to be, and hasten a rejoining by terrorizing countless people on the Source. Just so he can save the souls on his world. He can’t even save their lives! Not at all! All he can do is save their souls by causing a Rejoining and killing them all! 

He had to kill his friends to get to the Source. Do you think he dug their graves? Laid them to rest? Who buried him, do you think? Or do you think he thought he didn’t deserve his own grave, after the wrong and the mistakes he made?

How often do you think he broke down on the source, crying because he couldn’t be the bad guy, but his people, they were counting on their hero, their Warrior of Light to save them? Like he had countless times before?

And then he met you, on the Source. 

You who fought him, talked to him, heard his story. You’re the person who did everything right, and won. He didn’t. You made him see that there was still some goodness in the world, and he resolved to go back, and make it right. 

But then, at the precipice of stopping the Flood. He watches as all his friends give up what little they have left, their very souls to power to stop their mistake. And his his mistake more than any of theirs. And so he lifts his hand, content in the knowledge that he’ll help, one last time. 

Only to be told no. 

A hundred years he wandered the land, utterly alone. His voice unheard, his gestures unseen. He watched, over and over and over, as the people he was prepared to destroy himself for were killed, picked off, eaten by the creatures that came out because of his mistake. I kinda can’t help but wonder – do you think he tried to end it all, despite his ghostly form…? 

And then you came. 

You, the Warrior of Light that succeeded. That didn’t have to kill your friends. That won every battle you came across. How can he not hate you, just a little? Or be jealous? He tried being the hero, and it didn’t work out. So he tells you that the world is beyond saving, because he tried. He tried, so, so hard. 

But you prove him wrong, bit by bit, by taking back the Night. Proving to him that life is worth living, that life went on, even in spite of something that he blames himself for. You travel around, changing lives left and right, and sometimes it isn’t even big! Sometimes it’s just a simple word, or retrieving a child’s doll. But all of them are affected. It’ll be alright. It’ll be alright. 

And then you fail. You can’t keep the Light. And the skies, the night that he saw you return, is stolen away from him once again. But he’s seen it now, he’s seen how you’re like him, how you did everything right, and still, still it came to this. 

So he gives you the words, the reassurance that he couldn’t ever have. He promises to be with you, until the end of the line. Because how could he not? You’re his friend, after all, something like his other half, he thinks. So he helps you, makes sure you’re alright. Keeps you grounded, when the Light threatens to become too much. You hold the salvation or the damnation of his entire world in your heart, but he only wants to make sure you’re alright. 

And then the words, “in our time, you and he were one soul.” 

Everything slots into place. Everything slots into place with frightening speed, and the connections, the words, the banter, how well you two got on, it all makes sense. But now you’re different people, worn down by eons of rebirth in the Lifestream, but still, you’re alike. Two sides of a coin, different yet connected in a way that’s impossible and grand. 

So when the Warrior of Light, the Warrior of Darkness falters, he does not hesitate to offer his soul. He knows he won’t be fading, he’ll be coming home. Complete. That everything will be worth it, somehow, despite the fact that he’ll never be again. All his mistakes, his failures, his life and trials and triumphs, it does not matter, because you accept him. You love him. 

𝒘𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒚 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒅𝒆𝒇𝒚 𝒊𝒕, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒘𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒚 𝒊𝒕.