everflaming:
his words are purely honest, she knows that. Well, perhaps theyāre a touch off. If he was being absolutely honest with her he would tell her that he isnāt happy, he canāt be happy. Not when heās looking at his past when heās supposed to be looking at his present. Only New Orleans isnāt truly his past, is it? Itāll always be his constant. The kingdom that was, the crown that slipped from his hands as easily as it had landed there.
Thereās a feeling of fear that echoes just underneath the surface. A fear that heāll end up resenting her since he had lost his city because he had chosen to come and be with her, to take Hope with her and away from the throttle of the Hollow that has caught them all in their web. Will he ever forgive her or her family for taking him with them all over again? This mess has ruined everything and Rebekah isnāt sure if Marcel will ever recover again.
She wonders that sometimes when theyāre alone. When the two of them are laying together and she watches him sleeping. The night time whispering its shadows across his features. She reaches her hand out, fingertips whispering over the side of his face, over his brow and sometimes she feels distanced. She tries to look for differences in the way he kisses her, the way he touches her. Years upon years lets you know someone and she believes that she knows Marcel and his inner pieces. But she worried about asking him, what his answer might be. So she resolves to letting things happen, staying beside him and hoping that this moment in time theyāve captured for one another.
Reaching out towards him she settles her hand on his arm, fingers brushing a caress slowly along his skin as she holds his eyes. ā Trying works. ā she agrees, taking down a hard swallow of nerves. ā But after everything, Marcel - you donāt have to stay. ā He doesnāt have to. Is he staying because he wants to or he feels he has to after all the time theyāve lost?
Ā after everything? he felt this strange tug inside of him, something that tells him this is his chance to go. that he can leave. run out. that he could do whatever he wanted. that he could go back to his city and leave all this behind. the mikaelsons as far as anyone knew were gone for good from that place. and he could run it as long as he could, he could make it great again. itād be even better than those five years. itād be like before the originals ever came back.
Ā and he was lying to himself if he said that he didnāt miss the city. that he didnāt miss running things, taking control. sometimes heād call josh to hear how things were back there. new orleans had always been his home. it run deep in his veins. and he knew he couldnāt quite get it out of himself. but there was something in rebekahās eyes, something almost asking him. she needed him to stay. her and hope both did.
Ā he canāt tell her heās staying without regrets. even if he might. he will regret it. heāll tell her that he loves her, this is where he wants to be. but itās a half way there lie. and he feels bad about it. he feels like he owes her more. he knows he does. after all this warring, all this fighting.
Ā āiām staying, rebekah.ā he says, reaching his hand out to lightly take hold of her hand. a gentle press. he smiles a little. he does a good job at convincing because he means it. of course he does. but not entirely. itās a broken edged promise. he only ever wanted a few things in his life. new orleans and rebekah were always on the list. and yet he never could see them apart. āitās where i have to be. where else would i go?ā










