DON'T LET ME BE GONE.

‘ Sorry. I’m going to need a minute. ‘

‘  Ok, I gave myself a minute to freak out. ‘

‘ Ok, I gave myself a minute to freak out. Because of the monster. The thing with all the legs and teeth. The one I barely got away from. Minute’s up though. ‘ 

‘ My name is ___. I live just outside the town of ____. ‘

‘ ___. This wizard’s the BEST. He lives in his little wizardy orb, just swimmin’ in spells and glitter. He will protect you. Look, he’s doin’ it right now. ‘

‘ I could use regular sugar and flour or whatever, but it’s not like I have those things just sitting around. Who does, honestly? People with moms, I guess? ‘

‘ Today started off just like any other day: with another sunrise, and the sound of song birds going hog wild out there in the trees. ‘

‘ I’ve got more pressing concerns right now than the book report I have to hand in on Monday. ‘

‘ If anyone claims that I didn’t exist on the date of ____, I can shove that big red X right in their face and prove them wrong. ‘

‘ I’ve considered blending ballet and tap dancing, wearing one tap shoe and one ballet shoe at the same time, but decided to fully master both and earn the respect of my teachers before unveiling my boundary-shattering “ballap” style to the world. ‘

‘ They should be pretty safe on the shelf. Which is the point of shelves, I suppose. ‘

‘ This is a raised and cushioned platform where you spend several hours every day unconscious and hallucinating, usually while the majority of the other people on the continent are ALSO doing the same thing. ‘

‘ Puppy Surprise is having puppies! How many?? That’s the surprise!!! Puppy Surprise, Puppy Surprise!!!!! ‘

‘ Argh. Whenever I look at this thing, the song from that commercial runs through my head like a snake monster on an autumn afternoon. ‘

‘ Some kid from school got four in hers, and she wouldn’t shut up about it for a week. ‘

‘ Ahh, yes. No one would EVER think to look for your precious diary key inside a plush mother dog. ‘

‘ Just a feeling. A deep, inexplicable, impossible-to-ignore feeling. ‘

‘ She really does explain quite a few things, EXCEPT of course precisely where she gets her clothes and how she manages to look so great all the time. ‘

‘ I could try on some new clothes, but what’s a style montage without at least one party offering compulsory reaction shots for each outfit? Who’s going to give me an affirming head nod when I finally NAIL IT? ‘

‘ What a daring dream, to combine the finest qualities of the animal kingdom with the nobility of humanimals, wait, I mean Humanity. ‘

‘ Unfortunately, that thing is probably Monster Chic. ‘

‘ What’s the metaphorical significance of the Flashing light? What could it represent? The Past? The Future? AMERICA? It’s my stupid brother. ‘

‘ Stupid clouds, all untouchable and ephemeral and stuff. ‘

‘ That little girl there? She’s destined for big things. Big hopes. Big fears. Big worries. Big lonelinesses. ‘

‘  Now, hold on. Pull yourself together. What would mom say if she knew I was thinking like that? ‘

‘ Maybe I should take a moment to record a note now, just in case this is my last chance to set down my final words before my tragic demise at the hands of a horrible snakey thing. ‘

‘ You mean the lantern? I don’t know morse code. ‘

‘ I would never use such an easily decipherable code. Enemy agents are everywhere. ‘

‘ Still unconfirmed vis-a-vis of your condition following enemy serpent encounter. Please report bite status. How many and how gross. ‘

‘ I’m fine. No bites, you weirdo, but thanks for asking. ‘

‘ I don’t think you should leave your treehouse anytime soon. It might be headed back your way. ‘

‘ I was making fun of you, dweeb. I’m not going anywhere. ‘

‘ ___, I’m going to go to the stupid attic, ok? ‘

‘ You want me to fight them? With a flashlight? ‘

‘ Yeah. Well, I guess I’ll have to take your word about all this. You… ARE sure about all this, right? ‘

‘ Maybe something from my past will shed some light on today’s terror-mysteries. ‘

‘ Between you and me, aI think a bunch of the kids at school might be… evil? ‘

‘ I miss mom :( ‘

‘ Forgive my hasty and nervous scribbling! I’m kinda scared. But maybe, also a bit excited? Anyway, can’t talk much now. There’s a sly and cunning monster on the prowl! Possibly hungry for kid meat, too. So, I’ve got to…. ok, I don’t have a darn clue what I have to do. But I’ll fill you in later once I do it!  ‘

‘ I’m hanging up now. CLIIIIIIIIICK dial tooooooooooooooone. ‘

‘ Guess what. It’s full of your stupid POGS. ‘

‘ It’s fine. No big deal, just left the safety of my room to be eaten by monsters in the hallway because my dorky brother sent me to the safety of the wrong side of a locked door. ‘

‘ Why does he even need a special trophy room, when our WHOLE HOUSE is just his dumping ground for whatever garbage he picks up on his stupid adventures? ‘

‘ Some great photos and portraits of my mostly-great family. ‘