Of Lumber & Jacks

“Did you know they used to carve faces on turnips?”. Belle was changing the bookstore display, the theme was the evolution of the Jack O’ Lantern, so there was a beet, a turnip and a pumpkin, all carved and illuminated with fake candles. “They’re meant to ward off unwanted visitors”.

☼*·ﾟEYES widening, Ralph stared at her for a moment, trying to picture carving a face on a turnip. It was a fairly small vegetable, especially compared to a pumpkin. He couldn’t imagine how that would work. “Have you ever done it? Turnips are considerably smaller than pumpkins,” Ralph explained. Standing there, watching her change the books, he found himself wanting to know more about this. “Really? Do the faces have to be specific? And what kind of faces? Sorry, this is interesting to me.”

“oh — hey!” she feigned some excitement because she still knew very few people in town. they’d all been so friendly in the beginning but that had waned and she was now part of the black sheep group, which suited her just fine. she’d just come round for some essentials for her new apartment, hadn’t expected anyone to engage in conversation with her, which might turn out to be a splendid surprise. except she didn’t remember their name.

☼*·ﾟ SMILING, Ralph couldn’t help but be glad he’d run into Anya. He’d seen her around a couple of times and the two of them had talked, but truth be told, he needed more friends. She’d talked about liking food and he’d wanted to try new recipes. “Anya! It’s good to see you. I was hoping I’d see you again,” he explained with a bright smile. The question was, how could he say this without sounding creepy, because really, he just needed more friends around Sunnyside. “I know we’d been talking about good food and I found some really cool recipes. I thought maybe you’d like to test them out with me and maybe we could be friends as well?” Ralph asked, a bright smile resting on his face.

Tiana had decided to do something for Halloween. She somehow managed some free days and was now going over a list of ingredients and recipes, “and we have chocolate for the spiders. Marshmallows for… ghosts? Apples for poisoned apples, shocking”, she rolled her eyes with a laugh. Why buy candy when you could make your own trick or treats? “It’s o-!”, she looked at the door and smiled, “oh, hey stranger”.   @oflumbersnacks​

☼*·ﾟHEADING into the centre, Ralph found himself wanting to get into the Halloween cheer. He’d figured someone would be decorating and wanted to participate. As he walked in, seeing Tiana, his entire face lit up with excitement. “I’m so glad you’re here!” Ralph stated, a bright grin resting on his face. There were only a few people he knew of that could make delicious Halloween treats and she was one of them. But he hadn’t thought about that when he’d arrived at the centre. “I was going to come help decorate, but this is an even better idea! Can I help? I’ve never really made treats for Halloween or anything this sugary, really. I don’t know much.”

The one thing Vinny disliked about the nearing end of the year was the amount of poinsettias. They weren’t even that great of a flower in his opinion, but every year without fail, everyone wanted poinsettias for their holiday celebrations. He grumbled as he unloaded the last of the season’s first truck load, knowing the rest of his year would be filled with the things. “I can’t believe this. It ain’t even Thanksgiving and we’re already gettin’ these things in. Can we have one holiday before moving onto the next?” He nodded at the next person walking by, pointing at them. “You know what I’m saying, right?” / @sunnysidestarters​

☼*·ﾟ FLOWER shops were not exactly Ralph’s cup of tea, but he knew they’d be a nice edition to his and Vanellope’s apartment. Flowers were a girly thing and she’d definitely appreciate them. But the problem was that he didn’t know anything about them. That was how he found himself standing in front of flowers that were supposedly a holiday flower. Tilting his head to the side, he looked at them, fairly confused. “I don’t even know what these are. What’s the Thanksgiving flower? I want to get some pretty ones for my house, ‘cause teenagers like flowers, right?”

Lunch. Just the mention of it was enough to make Elsa’s stomach growl. “Admittedly, I’ve been pushing off lunch until I reached a good stopping point,” she frowned at the other before dropping her gaze back to her work. She’d made barely any progress, how long until she’d reach that milestone she set that morning was impossible to tell at this rate. “I’m not much of a cook though, I never really learned how. But any place that serves coffee is good in my book. What are some of your favorites?”

☼*·ﾟ TILTING his head to the side, Ralph looked down at her homework, trying to figure out what exactly it was she was doing. “Is it a good stopping point now?” he asked, hoping it was. Ralph was a big fan of company when it came to food, mostly because not many people liked to talk to him. There were far too many people that thought he was a bad guy. “I can teach you sometime, if you decide I’m not such a scary person,” Ralph explained, pursing his lips. He really hoped he wasn’t coming off too strong. “There’s a really good restaurant by the beach. The coffee is really good and is even better by the ocean. I’m a big healthy eater, so anything that’s fresh, green or grilled.”

A heavy sigh escaped her as she placed her hands on the nape of her neck, letting her head droop. “I’ve only got a few days until this is due and I can’t seem to concentrate,” Elsa complained, biting her lip. Already she was dreading what a bad grade on this assignment would do to her GPA. Picking her head up, she let out another sigh and stared ahead blankly. “I think I need coffee.” / @sunnysidestarters​

☼*·ﾟSOMETIMES, Ralph liked running through the college, offering little bits and pieces of advice to the students nearby. He liked seeing the fountains and the groups of students giggling and having fun, something he hadn’t seen in quite a while or been able to enjoy. Much of this was his fault and now, as he was older, he was trying to change his luck. He’d stopped to sit on a bench, taking a break to drink some water and stretch before running again, he turned to face the blonde next to him. Tilting his head to the side, he pouted lightly. “It’s always good to take a break and a healthy lunch will help you too, jolt your memory and all,” he explained with a smile on his face. Ralph was a firm believer in good food helping your energy come back and he hoped he could help her. “I know some good recipes or even good restaurants that could give you both coffee and good food if you’d like.”

“Am I the only one worried those weird random clowns are going to return? I think it’s enough that It 2 is out, but do we really need a documentary about one of the creepy clowns? Just let the clown obsession go…“

☼*·ﾟSTOPPING in his tracks, Ralph shook his head and put his hands up in defense. “No, no thank you. I do not trust clowns and I will not go down into a drain just to get something. Who would even do that?” he asked, finding himself incredibly scared. The tall man wasn’t afraid of very much, but clowns were definitely one of those things. No matter how many times he was told they were just humans in make up and silly outfits, he couldn’t shake the unnatural fear he had of those kinds of people. “I’d much rather documentaries about vampires and werewolves.”

“Whoever thought of bringing pumpkin spice season early is seriously messing with my vibe. I don’t feel like drinking a pumpkin spice when the sun is hot and I’m sweating, who thought it was a good idea?“

☼*·ﾟSTANDING there, confused, Ralph had to admit, he had no idea what pumpkin spice even was, as he wasn’t necessarily a big drinker of anything with flavor. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about. If I drink coffee, I drink it black. It sounds sweet and not very good,” he explained, sticking his tongue out. Besides, the thought of anything pumpkin flavor was not exactly on his list. He was never really a fan of it, no matter what version it was in. “The crazy coffee people, obviously. I don’t understand putting flavor in your coffee anyway.”

“I’m really sorry but do you have a phone charger with you and can I borrow it please, please, please?” She claps her hands together pleadingly as she asks the other to borrow their phone charger. She wouldn’t be so bothered by forgetting her charger if she weren’t expecting a call from one of her old roommates. If they knew she let her phone die again they’d get awfully mad. Okay not awfully mad, but they’d be disappointed which to Shiloh was far worse. “I’ll return it once my phone is at fifty percent, I promise!”

@sunnysidestarters​

☼*·ﾟRUMMAGING through his duffel bag, he pulled out a phone charger, looking up at the girl with a small smile. “Of course! I don’t mind you using it. I’ve got to do my stretches for the day and it’ll take a fair bit of time. Feel free to use it as long as I’m here,” he explained, pulling a yoga mat out of his duffel bag as well. Laying it on the ground, he laid on his back, stretching out his entire body. “Got an important call coming or something?” Ralph asked, before sitting back up and stretching to reach his toes.

☁*·ﾟ LIFTING HER HEAD, camila looked at the person standing in front of her. for months now, her father was trying to come up with new types of candy to sell at the store. she’d been trying to gain intel from the citizens of sunnyside but was struggling quite a bit. and that was exactly how camila found herself walking around the town with a clipboard in her hand. she made boxes for everyone’s names and was writing down their favorite flavors in the boxes. practically bouncing up and down, she started asking them a bunch of questions. “serious questions! what’s your favorite flavor of sweet things? what shape do you like your candies in? do you like them coated with things? tell me all of your favorite candy opinions!”

@sunnysidestarters

☼*·ﾟBLINKING, Ralph looked at the girl, trying to wrap his head around all of the questions she just asked him. He’d just finished up his run for the afternoon and was headed for a swim. When Ralph exercised, he really went all out. But today, he was stopped by the small girl full of more excitement and love for candy than Ralph ever admitted that he could have. Chuckling, he scratched his head and thought about it. “I don’t eat much candy, but I definitely like chewy candies and wouldn’t mind them covered in chocolate. I also like the kind that are sour and then sweet, ‘cause it keeps me on my toes,” he explained. Tilting his head to the side, he found himself wondering far too much about her questions. “May I ask why you want to know all of this?”

Nyx was a fighter from birth, that much was for certain. But believe it or not, they had no idea how to properly fight. They could win, but Nyx wanted to do more than whale on someone; they wanted to fight someone without hurting their own hands in the process. So learning to box at the gym seemed like the next logical step. Sitting on the bench inside, trying to wrap their hand like they’d seen on TV, Nyx was already having a bit of trouble. “Hey!” they shouted at what had to be one of the more stacked people in the facility. “Hey, you work here?”

@oflumbersnacks

☼*·ﾟWALKING back out onto the main gym floor after finishing up with his last client, Ralph headed to the log book to check if he had another client. After finding he was free for the next couple hours, he figured he’d get his own workout in. However, hearing someone’s voice, he turned to face them, a smile flashing across his face. “Hi!” Nodding, he walked toward them, holding out his hand. “I do. Ralph Wright. I’m one of the personal trainers here. Can I help you with your wrap and any other questions you might have?” he asked politely, trying to give his best possible impression.

             “ REALLY ? “, AUDREY ASKED, her curiosity piqued. “ is this your first bike or one of many ? “, she continued her interrogation, taking a step closer to the motorcycle to inspect it some more. “ i mean, i hope so. i’m supposed to be able to fix them when they break down. “, she replied with a grin on her features as she turned around to face the guy. “ for real ? dude, that’d be amazing. “.

☼*·ﾟNODDING, he turned back to the bike, admiring its beauty, glad that he’d been given the opportunity to own one of them. “It’s my first one. I’ve dreamed of owning one, but my family laughed at me as a kid. And I’ve never really had the money,” Ralph explained. Raising his eyebrows, his jaw dropped as he looked between the bike and the girl. Perhaps she could help him with the last bits of it. “You can fix them?” he asked, wanting nothing more than to jump up and down in excitement, but that would be foolish. “I’d definitely let you ride, especially if you help. There’s something not quite right, but I can’t seem to figure out what it is,” Ralph stated, moving toward the bike. “It starts, but it doesn’t sound right. Something’s off.”

If there was one thing Felix loved to avoid, it had to be conflict. He didn’t fancy being in the same room of it and would literally flee the scene as soon as voices were raised or tears were spilt. But even though he tried to pretend his metal wrench shining under the kitchen lights was suddenly the most interesting in the world and looked at nothing else much, he couldn’t escape what his brother was saying. And Felix had to confront him on his words, which was arguably not a smart thing to do considering they hadn’t seen eye to eye in years but the older one jumped in anyway. “We’re supposed to be family, Ralph. That’s the way things just are and maybe not every day together is sunshine and apple pie but come on… you moved away lookin’ for something you didn’t even try to find on our side of the fence first. Moms and pops love ya so much, you gots to know that their special attention on you only comes from good intentions. And I… well, frankly there shouldn’t even be a doubt that I care for ya, you’re my little brother.” 

As he spoke those words, Felix had a hard time ignoring the fact that he was defending his family to his family. Why were there even sides to begin with?! Why couldn’t everyone just get along nicely? Perhaps he knew why… people did say ‘what the eye doesn’t see, the heart doesn’t grieve over’, didn’t they? And over the years, Felix had always taken those words a little bit too literally. “I just can’t add up how this… adventure of yours supposedly was in our interest. If this is your finish line, why not have invited us over to cheer you on? Ya know? I’m not calling you the L-word but I would, maybe, imagine that’s how a liar might perhaps phrase things indeed.“ He scratched the back of his head, knowing his next words may be heavy on his chest now but would be even heavier on his heart once he said them out loud. “I’m just saying that, to me, it seems you moved out to take on a new successful role and that’s fine by me - I’m rooting for ya - but it sure stings like a bee when you pretend it’s because you had no role at home. You just didn’t like the one you got and couldn’t try to see how to make the best things…with us.”

When the tears appeared, he cleared his throat and looked away. Because that was easier. Because suddenly a broken sink was the least broken thing in this foreign house and at least he was well-trained in fixing that problem. “Could you, um, turn on the water tap again gently?” He asked of his brother in a soft voice, pointing to the other side of the room that hid the main taps. His gut told him it was the connection between the water valve and the supply line and with his thumb pressing down on the supposedly vulnerable spot, he was as ready as ever to take that calculated risk. The annoyingly lingering question remained, however: why did he never take any risks like that regarding Ralph or put his hand in the fire (or water, in this case) for him? Because Felix was more than afraid of the mess that restoring the golden days would make because he might fail at restoring them in the first place. Right after asking to turn the water back on, he glanced at this little part of the drain system called a pressure reducer and he’d never wished for anything more in his life than a real-life equivalent of this tool.

☼*·ﾟHEART sinking into the bottom of his chest, Ralph couldn’t help the tears building up in his eyes, threatening to fall down his cheeks. The words Felix chose hurt him, more than he cared to admit. He knew nothing in their lives would ever be how they wanted it to, no matter what. How in the world was he supposed to explain how he felt? Not one day of his life did his family make him feel special. Sure, it probably happened as a kid, but as far as Ralph remembered, Felix was always the perfect child. He was always the one the family was proud of and the one they did everything for. When he’d finally decided how his life would continue, they laughed in his face and acted as if he didn’t care. And now, listening to Felix’s words, he didn’t know how to tell him how he felt. Ralph didn’t want to have to explain how he viewed life. Felix would never understand. “Yeah, we are family, Felix. But you lived in the light. You lived in their perfect little world. I was constantly told I was bad, that I wasn’t going to make it in the world like you would. Do you have any idea what that does to a kid?” He asked, his body tensing up, shoulders practically expanding. “No, you don’t, and I don’t expect you to understand. Just don’t ever again, tell me what you think you know about my relationship with the family. I wanted to come back, believe me, I did. But every time I did, I was treated with nothing but disrespect. They never believed in me.” 

The tears finally rolled down his cheeks. How could Felix say such a thing? He’d called their parents and told them everything. Letters were written, calls were made, voicemails left. But nothing happened and he hated the way he felt. Fiddling with the bottom of his flannel shirt, he didn’t know how he could look at his brother anymore. “All I wanted was to be your brother for the rest of my life. We were so close as kids and then all of a sudden, it was like I wasn’t important anymore, just because I struggled with life,” Ralph continued, trying not to stutter. Biting the corner of his lip, he refused to meet his brother’s eyes. “They never helped. All I wanted was some assistance, but everything was focused on you.” This was not how this conversation was supposed to go, but the taller man had no idea what to say to him. At this point, Ralph’s face was completely covered in tears and he hated how it felt, never having let anyone see him cry like that. “I didn’t believe they loved me. No one stopped me. Why couldn’t they have stopped me? Things might’ve been different.”

At this moment, he was glad there was some element of distraction with his sink needing fixing. When the tensions rose, at least they could go back to the problem at hand, the physical problem and not the emotional one eating away at both of them. Ralph reached over and gently turned the water tap on, sniffling, trying not to think about how they were going to get out of this situation. But would they even get out of it? He was afraid that once the sink was fixed, Felix would leave and everything would be tense again. The next time they saw each other would be worse than this, because everything was out in the open, the stress, the hurt, the emotions and every ounce of pain would come flooding back into the world. Ralph didn’t want that. He wanted a brother again, but he had no idea how to get it. Did Felix even want it? Was it even possible? Could they really be family again?

                 “ IS THIS YOURS ? “, audrey asked as she walked passed a magnificent harley davidson – it seemed to be rather old but in excellent condition. it would be a dream to own one of those… the guy was standing pretty close to it, and seeing he was the only one around, audrey thought it was possible that he was the owner. “ what a beauty. “, she continued in awe, unable to tear her eyes away from the motorcycle to look at the man. { @oflumbersnacks }

☼*·ﾟTURNING his head toward the sound of the voice, Ralph grinned and nodded. “It will be, soon! The owner was helping me put some new equipment and paint on it. He’s had it for years and is trying to get rid of it,” he explained. For years, he’d dreamed of owning a motorcycle, but he wanted to make sure everything worked properly before he rode it. Watching the girl’s reaction, noticing how in love with it he was, Ralph couldn’t help but laugh. “Do you know a lot about motorcycles? Perhaps when it’s done, I’ll let you go for a ride.”

Sweet or salty, Honey lived for eating snacks, which is why the Festival was great for her. There were food stands around every corner, and the only reason she ever had to go home was to shower and sleep. Her internship was on pause for the time being as her boss knew nobody wanted to be stuck in a lab with Bunsen burners and boiling  chemicals, so he’d relinquished them to go and do whatever they wanted. That’s how Honey found herself walking her French bulldog puppy, Petri, a soft pretzel hanging out of her mouth as she tried to untangle him from her ankles. “C’mon, buddy!” she chuckled, stepping just the right way before bumping into a taller figure. With a panicked look, the blonde took the pretzel out of her mouth and froze, looking up to him apologetically. “I am…so sorry. My dog got caught around my ankles and I have a habit of being a tunnel-vision walker and…” Honey sighed, her shoulders falling forward. “I’m sorry.”

@oflumbersnacks

☼*·ﾟHONESTLY, the tall muscular man worried there wouldn’t be enough healthy food for him to eat. While on occasion, he was known to break and eat something bad for him, he’d been doing that a little too often. It was taking a toll on his body and health and Ralph was not about it. Naturally, he’d managed to find all of the healthy food options and circled them in stars on his map of the festival. His first food item was a salad, one covered in a raspberry vinaigrette that smelled simply wonderful. When he’d put his last bite of salad in his mouth, someone bumped into him. His fork was still in his mouth and his plate fell to the floor. Turning around to face them, Ralph looked down at the food in her mouth, raising his eyebrows. “It’s quite alright. I get distracted by food as well, but definitely not a pretzel. Those are full of carbs and not to mention dairy if you’ve got the cheese with it as well. How does that not hurt your stomach?”

Her peripheral vision panned to take in the rest of the room over the wall of names in front of her. Eventually, eyes rolling back to face the ceiling, she replied in a somewhat bewildered tone of voice, “Yeah, I suppose it’s a bit much. If only they added something to break the pink. Like a nice yellow lamp or some photo frames or whatever. They’re not that hard to make.” She wasn’t an interior design expert, not even of sorts, but Tinsley had plenty of trinkets at home that would liven up the place. Then again…this was just a pizzeria’s bathroom, not another DIY project. “I suppose people usually don’t spend enough time in here to really notice. I’m starting to feel sorry I called you out on it, honestly. Those signs can be confusing AF. Plus, it’s no biggie.” She swung her legs back out of the sink and hopped off the lavatory. She was ready to just skip out of the place altogether to leave the man in peace but her plans were put on hold as she looked him up and down again, really hit by the comparison of their heights. “Oh my gosh, yes! Those are exactly the two perfectly reasonable aspects I would have explained that away with. It’s like you read my mind!” Tins nodded approvingly as he turned on the faucet. His offer only widening her smile and making her nod even faster. “Wow, sure! I meant greasy more in the sense of… personality, you know? I can tell you’re not one of them, no worries, you’re clearly genuinely kind! I mean, thanking me for something this small? That’s a good guy thing to do, not a greasy guy thing.”

☼*·ﾟCHUCKLING, he found himself laughing a little too hard as he gazed around at the incredibly girlish bathroom. Ralph had no idea why he found it so funny, but for some reason, the amount of pink was highly amusing to him. “Apparently the designer just really enjoys the color pink,” he stated, turning to face her. Looking around at the bathroom, he couldn’t help but wonder if there was a good way to even decorate a bathroom. She was right though. Why did anyone really care? No one really spent all that much time in a bathroom anyway. “I suppose you’re right.” Putting his hands up in defense, he shook his head. “No, no, please  don’t feel bad. I’m just a stink brain and don’t pay attention all the time,” Ralph stated, knowing it was very true. The nickname was something he held very dear to his heart and found himself using it on himself quite a lot, but not everyone understood it’s significance. “I’m not usually good at reading people’s minds or thinking like them, so that makes me feel good, you know.” Shaking his head and laughing, he walked toward the door, opening it, firstly to check if there was anyone out there that might spread rumors about why he was exiting the women’s bathroom. “Oh, some people might think I’m greasy and not a very good guy, but that will be up to you to decide. Well yeah, I...” Ralph bit his lip, trying to hold in the laugh. “I appreciate you not telling, so I might as well treat you to lunch. Besides, you seem like a nice person and I don’t know... I need some more friends.”

The token of appreciation made his face rest, frowns and wrinkles smoothly rolling back into its usual smiley state. Albeit one with pursed lips. “You’re all good, Ralph.” At least his brother had given him a purpose today, a chance to do anything other than sharpening pencils behind his desk and chatting on the phone like a secretary. So in no way was it fair of Felix to offer his brother a worse customer service than any of his usual clients - some of who, truth to be told, weren’t even brainy enough to turn off the tap and had to be found standing in an actual puddle. And yet this quick fix job felt more draining than those. “If ya cook in here a lot, it’s very unlikely it’s the fault of the garbage disposal. Or you for that matter. And you still cook, right?” Perhaps that was an unfair question to ask, considering he already knew the answer. It got served to him on most of the important family get-togethers, after all.

Felix wiped his hands dry on his overall, not enjoying having to get up and straighten himself out next to his brother in comparison only to end up at a small doorway again. But it was the only way to get move the job along and he’d already wasted enough time on self-sabotage today. “My best guess is you’re just gonna need a replacement part. So I’ll turn this blue one right here off, go inspect the separate parts under the sink for rust or a little leak, and maybe you can turn them back on softly every time I ask? If you plan on staying, ya know, I mean, you don’t have to.” Though it would create some of the familiar distance between them he’d grown used to over the years. But, not surprisingly, his brother seemed to have different plans in mind and for once, his words did catch Felix’s attention. “Whaaat?” His surprise sounded like an awkward chuckle. The accusation of being the favourite felt new and yet he couldn’t deny its truth either, one Wright’s name fell more from gossipy uncles and aunts their tongues than the other’s. The worst part of it all? Not even Felix had ever stood up to correct that, though he’d more than likely deny so. “No, no, I- you- it’s not a game of favourites at home. I mean I only visit them like twice a week myself, ya know. Sometimes only once! Without calling to cancel ahead, even!” His eyebrows knitted together. This was still Ralph, his little brother, he was talking to and he would go to great lengths to keep him from feeling bad. Felix just wasn’t sure telling the truth would have that effect. “I missed you when you left but ya know, I- we were all excited for you, too! To try something new…”

☼*·ﾟHEARING the words his brother stated felt strange, odd, almost incorrect. He’d never felt like he was good enough to be compared to his brother, let alone told he was good. It felt wrong, almost like he could’ve been playing with him. Ralph couldn’t explain the feeling he felt standing in his kitchen with his brother. They’d grown apart, years ago and now he wasn’t sure how to react. Both of them were in the same space, with no buffer, no one to talk over the conversation should they need it. Watching him, he wondered if they could really become close again. It wasn’t necessarily a strong thought in his mind. Nodding, he hoped and wondered how much Felix really cared about all of his answers. Was he just making small talk to ease the quietness in the kitchen? But Ralph was still going to answer his questions. He wanted his brother to know he was doing alright with his life. “Yeah, I do still cook, every day. I try to make a meal every night. If I don’t cook something, I feel like my day’s incomplete,” Ralph explained, still not sure what he’d make today. There were quite a few things on his list, but racking his brain, he just couldn’t think of anything that sounded good enough. He’d always been a fan of cooking, always loved how good it made him feel. And around his family, Ralph was always the one who cooked, but for some reason, he never got the praise for it. It bugged him, every day.

As his brother spoke, he nodded, agreeing with him as if he knew exactly what he was talking about. But really, Ralph knew nothing about parts in the sink or otherwise. He trusted his brother. After all, this is what he did. This is what he was good at. And maybe, part of him did want to reconcile with him. Maybe at some point in the future, their relationship could again be what it was when they were kids. Ralph missed him, he really did, but they were so different now. It couldn’t be the same. “Okay and that’s not hard to get, right?” Shaking his head, he continued. “No, no, I’ll stay. I’d feel bad leaving you. Whatever you need me to do, just tell me, I’ll do it,” Ralph explained. He wanted to help his brother in any way he can and then maybe, he wouldn’t feel like such a screw up every single time he was around him. Biting his lip, he leaned up against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. How could he explain how he felt around the family? 

Felix would never understand how he felt. But how in the world could Ralph explain it? He felt like he was useless compared to his brother. “It’s not the same with me, Felix. You can show up and they grin and hug you and tell you how happy they are to see you. I show up and they scowl and ask me if I’ve done something useful,” he started to explain, his face dropping. “You’ve always been the one they’re proud of and I feel like I’m nothing compared to you. All of this,” Ralph gestured to his body, his house, and the food, “was to try and be something both you and the family could be proud of. I know none of this is your fault and I’m not blaming you, hell, you were my best friend as a kid, but them, the rest of them, they treat me like I’m not part of the family. I just want them to be proud of me, for once, you know.” His words slipped through his mouth without a care in the world and he was upset, so incredibly upset, not at all sure how to go about continuing the conversation now. Heart feeling like it was going to sink to the bottom of his chest, Ralph took a deep breath, not sure how to respond to his brother’s comment. What did he mean he missed him? Why hadn’t they all tried harder? “Felix, I... I missed you. I just thought you didn’t care about me anymore, ‘cause I was just a screw up,” Ralph’s eyes filled up with tears. His large hands wiped them away, begging them to disappear, because no, no, he couldn’t cry in front of his brother.