everything will glow for you

“oh, this isn’t gonna kill you, baby, it isn’t gonna kill you for sure, i promise.” piper babbles instantly, still barely paying attention to her disgruntled tattoo artist. she has to fight the urge to talk with her hands, honestly it’s her default state to gesture and emphasize, but all she can think is that pretty soon she’ll have a pretty new accessory to flaunt as she does. a finger tat, that she shares with her best friend. all of her exes can eat their hearts out, she’s officially harder than they’ll ever be. 

well. most of her exes. 

“and neither will adrian!” piper adds with confidence, giving honey’s hand a gentle little swing in the space between their chairs in hopes of comforting her. “sure he might be mad at first, but the moment he sees how cute we look with our new ink he’s gonna forget all about it!”

“especially once we tell him we can cover them up real quick with makeup before any y’know,” piper glances at her tattoo artist before she’s turning back to honey with a wink, “pit stops.” piper grins before she adds, “i mean, kat von d literally made a concealer just for this.” piper pauses for a moment after that, tilting her head before she corrects, “okay, maybe not specifically to hide your tats from the cops, but my point still stands. problem solved!” 

“he’s definitely gonna kill us, babe. but what’s life without a little excitement, right ?” honey had to admit- piper’s whole demeanor was incredibly contagious:  bearing the brunt of adrian’s rage – or better said, his severe disappointment – seemed less intimidating now and more of a challenge to be braced by the both of them together. 

all this to say, honey was feeling better by the second. life felt good, though it was nothing compared to the moment the tattoo needle lifted off her skin for the final time. the tattoo artist announced, somewhat bitterly, that she was done at last. honey yanked her hand back immediately, bringing it in close to inspect the image etched into her finger. despite all the trouble the two of them had caused their poor artists, the picture was quite an impressive flurry of thin, elegant lines that twisted together to form a gun. it was the pinnacle of bitter irony, tattooing the thing that gives you nightly nightmares on your finger, but the girl thought it was kind of funny in a way because of that. ( & besides, the whole ordeal had cemented her bond with piper in a way beyond imagining. )

“oh it’s amazing ! pipe you’re absolutely gonna love it ! it’s just like i imagined.”

was he going to kiss her? logan wasn’t sure. he hadn’t thought he’d get this far without a swift punch in the jaw, or her immediate rejection. the truth was, he knew in the end if he did kiss her it would only make matters worse for him. the confession had come up like vomit. a long two weeks of them fighting and trip’s sudden entrance had worn him down to that brief moment of desperation. 

but he knew better than to think honey would reciprocate his feelings in any real way… in any way that would outlast their road trip anyhow, which was what he wanted more than anything. it was stupid, and unrealistic, and logan should be protecting himself from getting his hopes up. so no, he shouldn’t kiss her. because what he and honey definitely would not last.

in a way, he saw her question as a deflection, which answered everything he needed to know. he should walk away, with what he’d just learned, but he doesn’t. instead logan leans in, until they’re as close as two people can be without touching. 

“am i?” he asks with a smirk, an arm snaking its way around her waist.

there was a flash of hesitation- she was sure of it. she’d expected him to kiss her that instant, but he hadn’t. her stomach twisted into a double knot as the smile on her lips faltered. honey drew her head back, eyes grazing of his face in search of answers. had she, somehow, misread the situation ? again ? had logan not meant for any of this to happen ? perhaps this had been his way of closing the book on her. clean the slate, get it off his chest and never speak of it again.

“is everything alright ?”

sometimes directness was the best strategy, in honey’s personal opinion. with every second she became more and more certain that logan was just going along with what she’d initiated, letting himself get swept up by her frenzy of relief and joy. the arm wrapped around her waist certainly didn’t help to narrow things down, though. 

a deep breath. she untangled her fingers from his hair, trailing her hands down from his neck to his shoulders & arms. “is this not going quite the way you planned ?“

it is the way the smoke seems to pool from her lips and dissipates into the darkness that instantly attracts adrian’s attention back on her. honey was among the first individuals in the group of bandits - and for some odd reason, it isn’t until now that the male realizes the way her influence draws for his attention. all he is really forced to wander in that moment is what nightmares continued to plague her consciousness and if her question to have a smoke was her way of dealing with its demons. 

when her eyes find him, the only immediate response is the curve of his lips. when the group breaks apart in california, adrian would remember this moment. the way the female can influence his emotions with her gaze and how he’d replay every word in his head when adrian could not sleep at night in search of an answer to the fucked up reality that the group was not meant to stay together forever. 

with a slight recoil from her touch, there’s a small snicker at her words. “honey,” he address the female by her name.  “you’re still tough to me. no matter what.” his words held truth, especially as his tongue moves to wet his lips before adrian is forced to look away at his declaration. “but i’d still do that again, if i have to.” 

now the grin is back on his lips. “especially if i have to be the one that’s the cockblock.”

honey snickered at his joke, eyes gleaming in the dim glow of the porch light. “fuck, boss. i dunno how i ever thought you were a hard ass. you’re like a puppy dog or something.” she flashed him another grin before staring out into the darkness in front of her. adrian had laid out a different side of himself here- not the shotcaller, the one holding everything and everyone together by sheer power of will. silence closed around the two of them like a blanket, drowning out everything but two pairs of lungs drawing in oxygen. ( or in honey’s case- inhaling smoke as she took another drag. )

“hey.” she turned to him, eyes blinking back the sleepiness that was once again setting in. “i never properly thanked you. for, y’ know…” the girl trailed off. her mind raced in search for the right words. 

honey wrapped her lips around the cigarette once again. the smoke seeped from her lips and disappeared into the night. “for being there. like, you didn’t have to do that. any of it.” the agreement on which the group was built was crystal clear- they were partners, brought together by a shared goal. nothing had obliged adrian to do what he had done, although she was immensely grateful that he had. 

_______________________________________________________

the smile that is glossed on adrian’s lips only deepens at honey’s words. never in a million years did he imagine himself forging this kind of relationship with the woman who had the power to draw out any kind of emotion from a person but as the impending end of this journey comes closer- he knows this is a high he’d have to let go. the moments he’d spend with her had an expiration date and the only recollection he’d have of these exchanges would be the plaguing dreams that would cause him to yearn for more time with honey. “a puppy?” he attempts to counter, though adrian realizes that his words said otherwise. “you’re not even going to give me the decency of something more badass?”

his shoulders pushes left, opening his body to her attention as honey speaks again. the artificial darkness of the movie set still frames the female exquisitely. he just nods, not wanting to overstep and force the words out of honey’s mouth a part of him has an idea of just how hard this must be for her to say.

logan had braced himself for a lot of outcomes here, once he’d finished rambling. he thought honey might punch him, especially after the perpetual cold shoulder he’d given her the past two weeks. he also thought she’d simply walk away, angry and not at all receptive to the information he’d just dumped on her. both would’ve been fair. but not exactly the reaction he would’ve been hoping for.

the reaction he was hoping for — was exactly the one he’d gotten. like stars had aligned under that crappy motel pool; like this was the only place their friendship could ever go right. her arms snaked around his neck, and logan didn’t stop to even think before wrapping his around her waist, one hand cupped against the back of her head.

 “holy shit.” he laughed. that’d actually worked?! they were somehow good again?

a part of him was waiting to see if honey would react to what he’d just confessed to her; but if she didn’t, he’d bury it then and there. that had always been the plan anyways, at least this way he and honey’s friendship somehow survived. 

“i’m sorry, honey. for everything.”

“holy shit sounds about right,” she managed with a weak smile, tears pooling behind her eyes. honey wasn’t sure she’d ever been this happy while with this group. they’d had some great highs, sure- stacks of cash, thrilling car chases, heart pounding every step of the way. but never quite like this. this feeling of recovering something she had presumed lost forever – that electricity between logan and her, crackling in the atmosphere – was better than all the money combined.

still, the sense of unanswered questions hung heavy in the air between them. one way or another, she was going to have to reciprocate all he’d just laid on her. breaking his heart seemed unfathomable in this moment, though. not to mention the unmistakable feeling blooming in her stomach that told her to keep him as close as she possibly could. plus, he was really fucking hot.

( and besides- this wasn’t a forever kind of thing anyway. they both knew that. once they got to california honey could get back to doing what she did best – run. )

she drew her head back from the crook of his neck, eyes drifting from his down to his lips and back up again. a smirk tugged at the corners of her mouth.

“so, are you going to kiss me or what ?”

piper blinks in surprise at honey’s obvious distress, jaw dropping for a bit before she’s squeezing honey’s hand in a more comforting way. 

“oh, honey, baby, just breathe okay? take deep breaths.” piper replies encouragingly as her thumb rubs over honey’s knuckles soothingly. she smiles at the other girl without paying the slightest bit of attention to the work being done on her other hand as she says, “it’ll all be over soon okay! and just think about when it is, and how fucking cool our tattoos are gonna look! we’re going to be twinning for like, life! isn’t that so exciting!” 

piper can feel her enthusiasm bubbling right back up in her with every word, her heeled feet kicking in her excitement much to her tattoo artist’s frustration. 

“ma’am–” 

“or if that doesn’t work think happy thoughts you know? like money, and shopping, and all your exes being miserable without you forever. or something cute like little wrinkly baby alien thing on disney.” piper begins to swing hers and honey’s hand as she speaks, completely ignoring her disgruntled artist in favour of distracting honey from her pain. 

honey managed a few laborious breaths. in through the nose, out through the mouth. to be honest, it didn’t do shit to distract her from the stabbing pain in her finger. still, she figured it was better than hyperventilating through her – admittedly tiny – tattoo.

her gaze moved back to piper, all cheer & animation. honey was never quite able to figure out how she managed to compose herself like that- like a firecracker that never ran out of gunpowder. ( hah- gunpowder. get it ?  ) ( honey felt she might actually be losing her mind a little. ) the girl tightened her grip on the other’s fingers, shooting a smile her way before shooting her artist another dirty look as she hit a particularly painful spot.

“i don’t think baby yoda’s gonna do me a whole lotta good here, pipes. but y’know, if this doesn’t-” another groan, tears stinging in her eyes. “fuck. are you trying to take my whole fucking finger off ?” this earned her another sour look. honey was starting to think she was making it more painful on purpose.

“anyway. if this doesn’t kill me, adrian definitely will. y’know with all the ‘marking ourselves with distinct features for police’.”

“cool.” he said evenly, hands still clutching the towel around his neck, knuckles likely turning white with the effort. logan had run this scenario a billion times in his head. in some versions they ended up scream fighting, red in the face and eventually parting ways having wrecked any semblance of their friendship. in others they made up with ease, apologies exchanged, and their old dynamic restored. if not just a little bit broken.

but as he stands there, eyes fixated on honey as she shakes the water from her hair, he realizes he can’t handle either of those circumstances. he doesn’t feel like talking ( surprise, surprise ) or sifting through feelings he already knows he has, but wants to protect honey from.

his jaw is clenched tight, hurting his teeth - and eventually, before he can catch the words and shove them back in his throat — “ i like you, honey.” it’s out in the blink of an eye, and suddenly his heart is racing a mile a minute.

but he can’t exactly stop now, can he? “like, a lot. in the embarrassing way. that’s why i didn’t come see you. i just thought… you were done with me after that night. i didn’t wanna bother you.” it’s word vomit, which logan isn’t sure is something he’s experienced before. it feels terrible, to realize you’re making a mistake and not being able to make yourself stop.

“i just thought you should know. i couldn’t wait anymore so — do with that what you will. or don’t.” he’s already moving to leave the pool, feeling like an idiot for opening his mouth at all. god, oh god. he had to get outta there, and fast.

the words that roll from his lips knock the wind out of her. honey had already braced herself for another screaming fight- she’d given him all the ammunition he needed that night at the bar, making out with trip just to get back at him. but this- in a million years, the girl would never have seen this coming. she managed a breathless “what?” as she rose to her feet, eyes fixed on logan. her mouth was slightly agape, cheeks burning bright scarlet at this revelation. the girl had never felt this flustered before in all her life.

& then he turned to leave, as if he’d just told her dinner was ready or some other perfectly mundane thing. she started after him, hand outstretched. “logan, wait.” there was a distinct feeling in her gut that told her not to let him leave. her fingers closed around his wrist and honey pulled him toward her. the girl threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in his neck as she did so.

it felt so fucking good to pull him close again. “i’m so sorry.” her words came out muffled, syllables smothered against his skin. she should have told him that a long time ago. after all, she had used him, in a way- in the way she’d used all her one-night stands. never before, though, had she gotten so tangled up in her heartstrings. logan pulled her in a million different directions. she barely knew which way was up anymore.

“i really thought you hated me.” at these words she dug her fingers a little deeper into his neck, as if to ensure herself he was going to stay right where he was.

( @ofhxney​ )

Piper’s free hand clenches around Honey’s in the space between their two chairs, her lips pulled into a beaming smile that she happily directs at the blonde despite the foreign sensation going through her finger. Honestly, Piper was expecting it to hurt a bit more, what with all the hype around it, but then again, she was always known to have a pretty high pain tolerance. Still, the tattoo gun against her skin feels like more of a tickle or a scratch than anything, and Piper can’t help but watch with slight awe as her the tattoo artist works. 

Piper squeals before she even speaks, jiggling Honey’s hand and annoying her tattoo artist in the process. Before the guy can remind her to sit still for the umpteenth time, Piper is turning to Honey with palpable excitement as she says, “Baby! I can’t believe we’re doing this! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am very excited we’re doing this, but I can’t believe we’re doing this!” Piper looks up at the ceiling for a moment, fingers tightening where they’re intertwined with Honey’s before she’s adding, “That said, I gotta say, this is the best idea I have ever fucking had, like in my entire life, I’m pretty sure.” 

honey’s fingers tightened around piper’s, nails undoubtedly digging into her friend’s skin as she did so. pain was not her friend- her eyes would tear up over injuries as tiny as paper cuts & stubbed toes. ( you’d think that getting shot would put things like that into perspective, but her tolerance for pain was as low as it had ever been. bullet wounds hurt like a bitch, but so did tattoo needles. ) next to her, piper was beaming, chatting away with palpable excitement. the girl couldn’t bring herself to answer right away, jaws locked tight in an attempt not to curse at her tattoo artist.

deep breaths, she told herself. the buzzing of the tattoo gun filled her ears. deep breaths, deep breaths. honey turned her head, gaze fixed on piper. she swallowed, hard, and unscrewed her molars. “gotta be honest, babe.” a groan. “motherfucker.” her artist shot her an irritated look, which the girl masterfully ignored. “i’m not loving it just yet.”

understatement of the century- honey was deeply regretting ever saying yes to piper’s proposal. her pinky felt like it was on fire, and though she thought the sentiment behind their design & placement of choice was, like, super cute, she couldn’t help but wonder if she was ever going to be able to pinky swear ever again.

it’s a cosmic joke; a sick twist of irony — that logan enters the motel pool gates and finds honey there already. like they needed another moment alone together. logan was smart enough to realize he shouldn’t say anything; hell, he was already holding back on making some shitty remark about the first time they were here. but he doesn’t.

logan thought about turning around, but the gate made a wide creak when he opened it, and if that hadn’t caught her attention, the ‘ fuck ‘ he let slip surely would. he gripped the towel around his neck awkwardly, at a crossroads. 

it was better for both of them if he just let it lie. he could turn around, mutter something about needing to get up early tomorrow, and they could go on ignoring each other until they turned blue in the face. but logan missed honey, and he was sick of having to do this. it hurt all the much more under the fluorescent pool lights. a quiet reminder that at one point… he and honey used to be good. even if it had only been for the one night. 

logan knew he was reading too much into their situation. somehow they were practically still strangers beneath all the fighting, and his monster crush. but he forces that sheepish feeling down and proceeds into the pool area. if nothing else, for the sake of his own sanity. 

“ — i’m sorry.” he says, when he meant to just say hey. “i can leave if you want.”

@ofhxney​

honey didn’t realize he was there, at first. there were a few seconds of bliss where she existed, siting cross-legged on a sunbed by the poolside, in complete solitude by the motel pool. the girl was fiercely taking a towel to her hair, having just dive-bombed into the water. she wasn’t sure what had drawn her to the pool, exactly. perhaps some part of her had hoped to find logan there, like she had that night a few weeks ago. ( it felt like a lifetime had passed since then. ) but the pool had been deserted & a twinge of disappointment had twisted in her gut like a knife.

but now he was here, in the flesh, talking to her. honey honestly hadn’t been sure this moment would ever come. she’d spent the last few days imagining how the rest of their time in the group was going to go- the two of them not speaking to one another, only injecting cruel sneers at the other in passing comments. ( making out with other people & making sure the other would be watching… )

“you can stay if you want,” she said, hopefully in a cool, unaffected way. her heart was racing at the mere sight of him. “free country.”

Adrian felt his tongue push against the roof of his mouth as a faint smile crossed his lips in a satisfied manner. There was no telling what the girl was thinking about, but he was only focusing on the way her hands silently expressed the deepest desires in her heart as her eyes stayed pointed on the paper cigarette instead of his face. The picture took a turn as she leaned into his touch, molding to fit into the skinny crevices of his body as his hand is repositioned to the wooden frame behind her back in attempts to support her weight. He’s not forgotten what it’s like to hold her delicate frame in his arms - because all he had been left with from the night that honey got shot were memories of how she was still beautiful while sleeping. though, it was definitely one sided. 

 The male could stay like this forever, but he’s also willing to give Honey anything she wants. So, his hand cups the flame as it fought to extinguish itself so that the blonde could lit the paper carton. “You’re right-” He’s ready to stop her negative trail. “You’re more likely to finish yourself in a bind with Logan’s driving or- honestly, staying here another day might make just go crazy.” He’s not necessarily escaping anything from the western-themed set, but Adrian is also growing tired of seeing the same crowd everyday. 

Instead of saying something immediately, the brunette just shrugs. “Makes two of us.” A chuckle dews from his lips, knees locking on the stairs before him on the porch now that honey no longer clings to his side. “I’d never thought you were the type to get soft on me, Honey.” 

honey laughed at his words. or rather, she exhaled through her nose rather hard at his words. she didn’t answer, instead bringing the cigarette to her lips for a deep drag as she mulled over what he’d just said. the girl liked to think she wore her heart of her sleeve, but if she sat down and thought about it, really thought about it, honey had to admit most of her interactions with other were laced with the flirtatious undertone that had become her shield over the years.

she sighed, letting smoke curl from her nostrils. “me neither, to be honest.” honey turned to him. her eyes, heavy with sleep, locked onto his familiar features. she trusted him, she realized, in a way that she trusted only a few select others in her lifetime. adrian had saved her- when the bullet had ripped her apart, at first. but after that, too, when the girl had been so afraid her sense had gone numb and she’d passed out from pain & exhaustion & terror terror terror- adrian had been there, had held her until she finally passed out. honey had never felt quite as safe as she had in that moment.

“there’s not much use in acting tough around you anymore, is there ?” she gave a slight smile, bumping her good shoulder into his. “y’know, after…” her hand waved around vaguely, indicating that night a while ago. “after all that.”

piper is gasping at the mention of a hat, eyes alight with a hunger and determination that only the promise of a real authentic cowboy hat can bring. okay, maybe not, but at this point piper really might kill a guy for one of those hats. this was a welcome alternative. 

“really? you think so?” piper asks excitedly, as she squeezes honey’s hand back. she barely resists the urge to turn around and look herself, figuring if the guy isn’t confident enough to just come over and hit on her, he really might get scared off by the attention. “god, i’ve been wantin’ one of those hats since we got here! you think if i blow him or something he’ll let me keep it?” honestly, piper was not above using her talents to get that hat. it was do or die. she was willing to do whatever it took. 

as honey takes a swig from her drink piper gives in and looks anyways. she never was exactly patient. she meets the cowboy’s eyes and turns around just as quickly, red lips forming almost a perfect ‘o’ as she leans into honey with an excited hiss of, “oh, he’s so cute. aw, hon’, i like this plan. i get a cowboy hat, and i get to play with that–” piper glances over her shoulder one more time before she’s turning back to honey with a serious, “baby, you’re gonna give the brain a run for their money with that noodle of yours.” 

“baby,” honey drawled, eyes glittering at she attempted to do the alabama accent & failed miserably, “with a face like yours he’s gonna done give it to you free.” she paused, grinning piper as she slumped in her chair. the alcohol was really hitting her now, turning her into the giggly, unwieldy mess it always made her.

“well, hot stuff, if you think he’s cute you need to go and like, talk to him, y’know ?” it was best she let the accent go, she’d decided. “c’mon.” honey rose from her seat now, dangerous wobbling as she did so. her fingers closed around piper’s wrist & she began to pull the other girl up, her face frozen in focus. even sober, honey could bare exert enough strength to open heavy doors, but in this state her situation only worsened. still, she trusted in the other girl’s nature to make her go along with whatever batshit crazy shit she came up with. “i’ll be your wingman ! but like, a woman, what’s that called ?” honey let go of piper’s wrist, defeated. there was an incredulous stare for a few seconds as she raked her intoxicated brain for the answer.

then, a snap of her fingers. a huge grin spread across her features. “wingwoman. i’ll be your wingwoman ! what’d you say, pipes ?”

he’s become quick to notice the purple blotches under honey’s eyes, the sharp contrast of her pale skin evident against her colored sweater causing her to seem more like a walking corpse. adrian knows better than to comment on her features, but he wasn’t exactly trying to avoid that she simply wasn’t the same honey he met months ago. the silhouette before him was a carcass, bits, and pieces of the person she was before the tragedy seemingly trying to pour through but the trauma had a tendency to hold on too tight.

“no need to thank me,” he’s quick to reassure honey, a simple shake of his head to reiterate that he was simply glad to check up on her. it wasn’t like he had anything else better to do. “it’s what i’m here for, right?” there is a small part of the male that was felt drawn to always be attuned to take care of honey- and frankly, he’s probably crossed way too many lines by just wasting (most) evenings on her porch in hopes that she’d find a purpose to get out of bed. “I hope I didn’t wake you.” 

the paper carton hasn’t even burnt out by the time honey speaks again. he’s taken aback by her question, but fingers are moving to fumble with the ragged pocket of his jacket to find the pack that he’d finessed from a local. “i didn’t even know you smoked,” he observes, thumb pushing the lid so its open before his arm is extended towards honey. the male had planned to waste the entire pack in a night, but he’ll spare honey some cartons if it means she’ll share her company with him. 

by the time honey’s chapped lips hug the paper carton, adrian is now pulling his half-empty lighter to allow the female to lean towards him.  the yellow flame welcomes new light, its radiance highlighting honey’s imperfect features. “have i ever told you that i’m kind of glad i joined that stupid chatroom?”

“nah, already awake.” honey thought there was no need to make adrian worry more than he apparently already did. she leaned her head against adrian’s shoulder, closing her eyes for a moment against the glow of the porch light. fuck, she was tired. but, alas, going back to bed wouldn’t help her in the slightest.  honey had thought back to that night a billion times already, mulling it over in her mind & searching for things to do differently. still, there wasn’t a single thing she could find. if she’d stayed outside & held her post, that would’ve meant piper might have been killed, after all. no, she’d done the right thing. getting shot still sucked, though. like, a lot.

honey stirred as she felt adrian reaching for his cigarettes, gratefully taking one from him as she sat back upright. “i don’t smoke, usually. but y’know…” she gestured at her injured shoulder as she let out a deep sigh. “at this rate it won’t be lung cancer that’s gonna be the death of me. so i might as well live a little.” dark humor wasn’t her style, usually, but honey found it difficult to talk about her ordeal otherwise. at least in this way, she could get a semblance of a laugh out of her fellow bandits at times.

“really ?” honey leaned forward to light her cigarette on the flame as her eyebrows raised at adrian’s words. “i mean, my life is a lot more exciting now than it was back then, for sure.” she paused, letting smoke seep from her half-closed lips. “never took you for the sentimental type, though, boss.”

Piper gasps excitedly at the very thought. immediately mentally picturing the shiny little cowboy hat on the hood of Sadie. God, she’d look so spiffy. 

“Honeybee, I think if we combine our strength we just might be able to convince those boys of anything,” Piper replies with a jokingly wise nod, eyes twinkling as she sits back in her seat and takes a sip out of her drink through a straw. Honestly, she’s not quite sure what it is, but she convinced the barkeep to put a cute little umbrella and some extra cherries in it, and that’s all that really matters to her. “I mean, how can they say no,” Piper talks around her straw, gesturing to herself, and then to Honey, “to these faces? It’d be impossible. We’re too powerful, baby.” 

(Piper knows Logan very well still might say no. After all, his love for Sadie seemed to be unparalleled but, well, they’ll cross that bridge when they come to it.)

 Piper squeals and reaches for Honey as she looks like she’s about to tumble over, almost shooting her drink though her nose as she laughs. She doesn’t know if it’s the liquor, or the fact that Honey is finally properly out of bed and hanging out with her again, but Piper feels giggly and almost high with the whole situation. She laughs so hard at Honey’s little finger guns that she snorts. “What? We still need him! Who’s gonna teach us how to ride the horses? We’ll be stranded!” Piper can’t stop smiling and huffing the occasional laugh even as she uses her straw to stir around the sweet mess of cherries, ice, and alcohol. “No, no, we need a cowboy around for that kinda thing…” Her eyes twinkling with amusement for a few moments before her giggles are starting back up again as she adds, “God, can you imagine us trying to rob a Walmart on horseback! That’s so fun!” 

“ooooh, a cowboy! now you’re talking, baby. we should get one of those with like the hat and the… uh… y’know… those metal thingies on their boots ?” honey took another sip of her lukewarm wine, staring intently at a spot just over piper’s shoulder. she leaned in conspiratorially, bringing her face close to the other girl as she whispered: “i know just how to get one.” honey giggled into her wine as she laced her fingers through piper’s. “there’s a guy at the bar who’s been staring at you ever since you got of that bull. ‘nd since he’s from, like,” she waved her hand around vaguely, “nowhere, ala-fuckin’-bama, that counts as a cowboy, right ? maybe he even has a hat!”

honey leaned back in her chair contently, pleased as could possibly be with her plan. as a little pat on the back for herself she reached out and plucked piper’s drink out of her hands. she really oughtn’t be drinking whatever hard liquor was in that stuff, what with the painkillers & several glasses of wine already wreaking havoc in her bloodstream. but fuck did it look good. and besides, she really fucking loved cherries.

she took a big swig – too big, some might say – before handing the glass back tot piper. “shit, that tastes like the bar man likes you, too.”

it was rare that logan met someone who pushed his buttons the way honey had. he didn’t think he’d ever been livid before in his life — but that was how he felt now, standing there, just taking the vitriol she was throwing at him.

he watched as she avoided his eyes, the contrast staunch compared to his burning stare. if she hadn’t meant anything to him, logan wouldn’t be here right now. he’d have been long gone from the hotel room, taking his stony disposition and leaving her to stew in the obvious rejection. that was who he was, not the gentle soul the bandits seemed to think. not even his father could get passed the tall wall of apathy he’d built up.

logan set his jaw, a slow inhale steadying the part of him that wanted to just fly off the handle and scream. couldn’t she tell — ? this was the face of someone who was obsessed with her.

“noted.” he said through his teeth. “anything else you wanna get off your chest? i gotta go scrub the blood outta the fuckin’ backseat.”

his calmness was maddening. 

honey wasn’t sure if he was doing this on purpose – keeping his face a blank slate as she had to grind her teeth into her cheeks to keep herself from crying – but boy was he getting under her skin. logan wasn’t giving her anything- not a flash of emotion in his eyes, not a twitch of his eye. she’d long since stopped hoping for an i’m sorry. 

“noted ?! are you kidding me ?” she buried her face in her hands, grinding her palms into her eyes until she was seeing stars. “you’re so fucking conceited, logan.”

honey sniffled, loudly. “all you care about is your goddamned self and your motherfucking car.” she struggled to get the words out, syllables catching in the back of her throat. the girl raised her head from her hands, eyes glossy with tears. one escaped, rolling down her face like they always do in movies. it got caught in the corner of her lips, and its taste filled her mouth with salty sadness.

her gaze found his. “but you had me fooled, holy shit.” another sniffle. honey wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her sweater. “i thought you were a nice fucking guy. you deserve a goddamned oscar.”

______________________________________________________

he’d cracked her — that much was obvious by the tear rolling down her cheek, the one logan pretended not to notice. this was the moment he always got stuck in; the record scratch, freeze frame moment where logan had gotten so far down into his own rage, that he didn’t realize he was a hairsbreadth from making someone cry. he was so good at that, despite all of his best efforts to avoid criers altogether.

he hadn’t expected to see this in honey, though. her usual cool edginess had him fooled into thinking he wasn’t cutting as deep as he was, but apparently that wasn’t the case. logan felt a pang of guilt swell in his stomach; as usual, tone deaf of other people’s feelings.

“i didn’t pretend to be anything” he said weakly, the exasperation falling heavily to the floor. that was true: all too often people, the challenge seekers of the world, tended to seek logan out themselves. some kind of passion project, as if he weren’t perfectly fine how he was (he wasn’t, but that was hardly the point).

it would do all of them so much good — if they could just realize he was only gonna let them down.

“i got no idea what you want me to say.” he snapped, setting his own coffee down in a fervor, the sudden jolt causing its liquid to slosh over onto the counter and his hand. he flinched, which only seemed to fuel his fire more.

when honey had passed out, time had slowed to a stop for him. he’d driven faster than he ever had before. he could tell because he barely had control of the jerky steering wheel; and even the brains of their operation had snapped at him that he was driving too fast. they’d gotten out of georgia in record time, and all the while he felt like vomiting. he actually did vomit, when they’d first gotten to the hotel - under the guise of forgetting something in the van.

but after their night in the motel — honey had made it very clear that she didn’t want him around. how could he have known he was supposed to come running back, under the right circumstances?

he inhaled slowly, his eyes uncompromising in their glare. what he wanted to say was that he was sorry, and explain that he’d been relentless in asking the others for updates, too worried about honey waking up and upsetting her to go in himself. a part of him even wanted to confess - that logan liked her, in the embarrassing way. in the way he was sure would push her further away than he already had. 

if only because logan would relish the look on her face when he gave her that tidbit of information; which he knew full well changed everything. 

he was calm in what he actually said, which surprised even himself. “i think you got the wrong guy.” he explained thinly, defeated and yet also meaning it to be a harsh jab. “whatever you wanted me to do, or say — after you stopped talking to me…” he trailed, a watery laugh dying in his throat, “i just ain’t that guy.”

the sound of the cup smashing down on the counter made her cringe. honey had spent the past few minutes searching for any kind of emotion from him, but now that she’d finally gotten it, it made her want to hide under her covers. she brought her mug to her lips wordlessly, sipping on the quickly cooling coffee as logan broke her fucking heart.

“you sure as fuck are the wrong guy,” she spat, nails digging into her palms to keep the tears at bay. honey liked him, truly cared for him, but it was quickly becoming apparent that was a one-sided affection.  “you’re such an asshole.” the words coming from her lips sounded choked now as she fought to keep her face straight. how could she have missed this side of him ? he’d always appeared cold, distant, but somehow honey had mistaken that layer of ice for some kind of sexy broody exterior.

“we fucked once, logan ! stop acting like that means anything.”

a bald-faced lie. it had meant more to her than she wanted to admit- that feeling of true human connection. she’d felt strangely empty without it after leaving las vegas. ( truth be told, honey needed that kind of attention more than she was willing to admit. )

“and besides, it sure as fuck didn’t mean anything to you, either.” she swallowed, hard, eyes looking anywhere but at the boy in front of her. “if it did mean anything – if i did mean anything – you would’ve fucking checked up on me.”

she’d chosen her words carefully, curated them specifically to hurt logan as much as she possibly could without digging her nails into him. but alas, her voice cracked as she spoke, making the girl sound more like a wounded animal than anything else.

“shees dude, i dunno. like, my family, maybe ? i definitely miss my bed, that’s for goddamned sure. these motel beds are fucking up my neck so bad. but other than that… i’m honestly not sure. i think i miss vegas, y’know ? the excitement, at least. there’s always something to do in vegas. and the food, oh my god. my dad’s hotel had this breakfast buffet… dude. i tell ya, the fact that i’m not, like, five hundred pounds is a miracle.”