my life is very recognizable.

the most sustained period of growth and pattern change was when i straight up unplugged all of my devices and left my phone in the other room. all i had in my house was my books and my guitar and a lot of time to fill. that lasted for like a month before i reverted to the mean by plugging the computer back in (under some flimsy excuse) and was back in my old ways except i couldnt post on tumblr. i am heavily reconsidering another 6 months of no tumblr except i fr will have all my shit unplugged (<-clueless)

i lost like 15lb but gained it all back because i have an unhealthy relationship with food. the period of time that i lost the most was when i committed to going full carnivore and ate nothing but meat. that was cool because i was in extreme ketosis but also it sucked because every meal was a fucking chore. 75/25 ground beef is the best of the ground beefs though.

i have kept a consistent gym routine and am still in muscular and cardiovascular shape but i need to drop a lot of weight because i hate the number on the scale and i dont like my body comp. that said my bench press is higher and my deadlift has surpassed 315 which is Based As Fuck but I NEED to be back on a bicycle. fuck the cold, fuck winter, I need the wind in my face.

i really, really hate my job now. not because its a bad job or the people suck, quite the contrary, i am just over being involved with the football club. it helped save my life and kept me from blowing my shit smoove off but i don't feel challenged and that is because i dont care about marketing and i dont care about coaching anymore. it is for that reason i have decided to go back to school starting in the fall to become a clinical therapist. my strength as a coach has always been in 1:1 interactions and this seems like a natural pivot. im getting all my transcripts and everything compiled to start in the summer and god willing i will start that pathway

for about 3 months i was dating a beautiful basque woman who is a research fellow at a university nearby but we both woke up one day and realized that we werent really for the other which is cool. it was nice to have someone to hang out with among other things. about two months ago i was playing team fortress the 2nd with my friend and his gf, and his gf invited her friend. she started laughing at all my jokes and we started talking more and i am going to see her in two weeks.