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@odyssua
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ONGOING EXAMS!!!!!!!

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thereâs something very oddly comforting about sukuna on days where itâs just you two - sitting before the fireplace, the winds now blazing outside the cobblestone windows, when they were whipping against your face just moments ago.
your eyes roll over to him, but carefully, cautiously, so you donât pull him out of whatever trance he is in as he stares at the crackling fire.
itâs nights like these where he feels human, someone just like you, perhaps someone just for you.
you feel a tinge of disappointment, because your singular left hand does not compare to his several ones. you wonder if he feels the same as you drag your fingers, which feel weirdly heavy, and are trembling from the cold, to touch his open palm. it takes you a second to wonder if he minds you becoming braver as he stills, even going as far as intertwining your smaller hand in his monstrously large one.
but you really neednât worry. everyone knows sukunaâs silence is enough. he enjoys your presence more than heâd ever tell you, and more than youâd ever know.
i still canât get over the fact that he looks like an inmate with this fit
thee writeth liketh a dreameth iâm actually obsess'd
does this give odyssey (is that even what your @ references đ) or did i just lose a lot of aura
THANK YOUGORGEOUS đđđđđđ AND YES ITâS ABOUT ODYSSEUS HAHAHAHA IM SO HYPED U NOTICED
ঠINCANDESCENCE
FEATURING: aerion targaryen x fem!reader
SUMMARY: you meet a dragon prince on the shores of lys, and after five years of colorless boredom, your world is suddenly filled with light again. or, two exiles find entertainment with one another, and the world suffers for it.
WARNINGS: fem!reader, reader is implied to come from valyrian lineage but no physical traits are mentioned/described, reader is a bored shit stirrer who lives for the thrill and aerion is aerion (he's a warning on his own), reader has quite an uh colorful personality of her own, liberal use of whore, aerion is rude and reader lowkey gets off on antagonizing him (she wants him BAD, in her defense, she's been terribly bored for 5 years), public sex/exhibitionism/voyuerism, rough sex, blood play, switch!reader (dom!leaning), switch!aerion (sub!leaning), but both of them fight for control LOL. WC: 9.6k-ish
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Carina's great return to writing for asoiaf ....... nobody understands just how crazy this is to me, I had a 6 year fixation on asoiaf from 15 to 21, and now sitting here writing it again after so long ........... madness ....... BUT IT FEELS SO NICE EUHUHUUH, IT'S LIKE COMING HOME </33 anyway I had so much fun with this fic, and I probably will make it a series of connected one shots because I have a lot of ideas I want to write for this concept. I have a whole background already built for our girl reader that I really would like to explore, and would also like to delve into Aerion POV because I think it would be fun LOL. I think I made it pretty obvious where reader is from in her narration, but trust there is a STORY behind her exile. I feel like I had more to say but I canât remember. Comments and reblogs always appreciated!! Mwah mwah
READ: BEWITCHED

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i need to write more toji fics iâm about to lose my place on his roster
phonemaxxing on my bedmaxxing
valarr feels like the gentlest man ever which is my favorite kind of man if you know you know! i hope you like this <3333 it's very fluffy
modern!valarr targaryen x fem!reader, fluff - sick fic âĄ
- Valarr is sick, you take care of him.
cw; fluff, friends (?) to lovers (?), non-sexual nudity, mentions of valarr and baelor's relationship
wc; 2.1k
THE GREATEST MOTIVATION
"I like your hair."
You sound so soft, something Valarr has missed for a long time. Gentle fingers going through his hair, your thumbs rubbing his scalp. You are following the white strands. It's your way of loving him, he likes to think, even if you have never said it out loud.
"Thank you." he murmurs, politely. Such a kind man even when he's sick. He is laying in his bed with too many pillows under his head, trying to keep his eyes open to see your face.
You smile, keep playing with his hair. Valarr has this pounding headache and a very hard time breathing normally, his mouth feels dry and his eyes are droopy. You being with him helps emotionally, but he still doesn't feel like he can leave the bed soon.
"I don't want to keep you," he says even though he is desperate for you to stay. "You're busy."
"You're not keeping me," you tell him, you mean it. "I want to be here."
You bring your hand to Valarr's forehead. He feels warmer than he was when you first arrived. He insisted he is fine, I'm just gonna rest and I will be okay, but he doesn't seem like it.
"You're running hot," you say. "I would make a joke about you being hot, but this seems serious. You need to get under cool water."
Valarr wishes you wouldn't tease him like you usually do. You are being very sweet now that he is sick, but you have a tendency to flirt with him until he crumbles under your attention.
ĘÉ â kissing sukunaâs back after sex
there used to be nothing the king of curses was incapable of. he is the inception of all evil - something he takes great pride in.
but to him, humanly things like worship mean nothing. he doesnât bathe himself in the applause of his useless followers. frankly, he doesnât care for it. if he is already aware of something, he doesnât need it repeated continuously in his ear.
well, thatâs what he thoughtâŚbefore you.
before you waltzed into his life, all pretty smiles and bold words. suddenly, he was in awe. in awe of how mortally beautiful you were, which is ironic, because for however many centuries sukuna had lived through, he was always convinced humanity was a weakness.
youâd praise him with words he didnât value, follow him around as if he was interesting to observe. smile at him like heâd done something good.
dealing with you was tedious at first. then, he didnât mind having your presence near. and then, he started enjoying the way you spoke, your mannerisms and the way your voice often lingered in his head.
sex with you meant soft praises in his ear, and he started to realise that maybe he did need all of those finite things. he did enjoy being appreciated. maybe he was much more human than he realised.
now his large frame sits on your bedside, his torso bare and his back covered in scratches, the very proof of your pleasure. now he is much gentler with you, although you might not be with him.
he feels your warm skin against his back, the corners of his lips twitching upwards into a smile. a miniscule gesture you loved seeing. something that apparently meant he had feelings.
ââŚsorry.â you mutter sleepily, your soft fingertips gliding against his rough skin. the marks you left clash with his usual scars. your apology is monotonous, any intonation leaving your voice whenever youâre tired.
a low hum escapes him. he thinks it sounds reassuring, but it comes out as more of a grumble. âfor what?â
you know the difference anyway.
âfor scratching you.â your thumbnail traces the red lines again, but gentler. slower, now that he isnât actively snapping his hips into you. your lips pepper feather-light kisses across the large width of his upper back. his quiet exhales donât give you a hint of what he feels, but he doesnât move away. thatâs how you know he likes it.
as a matter of fact, although he isnât expressive with his love, sukuna relishes at the feeling of your skin on his - it doesnât matter what you do. heâd be just as content with a slap, if it was your hand that did the deed.
his muscles twitch when you press another kiss to his left side. he scoffs. âyouâre not as clever as you claim if you think that hurts me.â
you move higher to kiss his shoulder blade. âyou donât have to act tough in front of me, âkuna.â itâs a weak attempt at teasing him, but you know itâll work regardless. you will always have the energy to make fun of him.
âiâm the king of curses, woman.â his head snaps to the side to catch sight of you. heâs very clearly frowning, before an idea pops into his head. âor maybe the one who left those scratches is just weak. must have been something very weak. a rat. or a fly. or perhaps something even worseâŚâ
âsukuna,â you roll your eyes as you fall for your own ploy, gripping his shoulders, then vengefully sinking your teeth into where your fingers gently brushed over before. âjust accept my apology, you dick.â
he barks out a laugh. âyou should be grateful i value you.â
âonly if youâre grateful to have me.â
âif anyone else dared to call me that, i would have pulled their hearts clean out of their ribcage and snapped their necks before they could take a breath.â he explains plainly, but a smile blooms on his face. âis that a sufficient answer?â
âso eager for bloodshed...â your posture slumps, your cheek resting flat in between his large shoulder blades. your eyes close as you grin. âi guess i do have my answer, though.â
a familiar warmth spreads in sukunaâs chest. apparently, like you claim once again, itâs happiness.
he hears the grogginess in your voice when you cling to him, your voice sending thin ripples of vibration through his muscles.
âlooks like youâve lost the battle.â heâs now facing the bed, his large hand enveloping yours as you let yourself fall back on the mattress. he leans in to press a kiss on your neck, where his lips meet your steadily beating pulse, and the several other hickeys heâs left. âdid i tire you that much?â
âyou wish.â your eyelids droop closed. âiâll have you defeated next time.â
âtonight.â
âabsolutely not, you monster.â
ĘÉ â kissing sukunaâs back after sex
there used to be nothing the king of curses was incapable of. he is the inception of all evil - something he takes great pride in.
but to him, humanly things like worship mean nothing. he doesnât bathe himself in the applause of his useless followers. frankly, he doesnât care for it. if he is already aware of something, he doesnât need it repeated continuously in his ear.
well, thatâs what he thoughtâŚbefore you.
before you waltzed into his life, all pretty smiles and bold words. suddenly, he was in awe. in awe of how mortally beautiful you were, which is ironic, because for however many centuries sukuna had lived through, he was always convinced humanity was a weakness.
youâd praise him with words he didnât value, follow him around as if he was interesting to observe. smile at him like heâd done something good.
dealing with you was tedious at first. then, he didnât mind having your presence near. and then, he started enjoying the way you spoke, your mannerisms and the way your voice often lingered in his head.
sex with you meant soft praises in his ear, and he started to realise that maybe he did need all of those finite things. he did enjoy being appreciated. maybe he was much more human than he realised.
now his large frame sits on your bedside, his torso bare and his back covered in scratches, the very proof of your pleasure. now he is much gentler with you, although you might not be with him.
he feels your warm skin against his back, the corners of his lips twitching upwards into a smile. a miniscule gesture you loved seeing. something that apparently meant he had feelings.
ââŚsorry.â you mutter sleepily, your soft fingertips gliding against his rough skin. the marks you left clash with his usual scars. your apology is monotonous, any intonation leaving your voice whenever youâre tired.
a low hum escapes him. he thinks it sounds reassuring, but it comes out as more of a grumble. âfor what?â
you know the difference anyway.
âfor scratching you.â your thumbnail traces the red lines again, but gentler. slower, now that he isnât actively snapping his hips into you. your lips pepper feather-light kisses across the large width of his upper back. his quiet exhales donât give you a hint of what he feels, but he doesnât move away. thatâs how you know he likes it.
as a matter of fact, although he isnât expressive with his love, sukuna relishes at the feeling of your skin on his - it doesnât matter what you do. heâd be just as content with a slap, if it was your hand that did the deed.
his muscles twitch when you press another kiss to his left side. he scoffs. âyouâre not as clever as you claim if you think that hurts me.â
you move higher to kiss his shoulder blade. âyou donât have to act tough in front of me, âkuna.â itâs a weak attempt at teasing him, but you know itâll work regardless. you will always have the energy to make fun of him.
âiâm the king of curses, woman.â his head snaps to the side to catch sight of you. heâs very clearly frowning, before an idea pops into his head. âor maybe the one who left those scratches is just weak. must have been something very weak. a rat. or a fly. or perhaps something even worseâŚâ
âsukuna,â you roll your eyes as you fall for your own ploy, gripping his shoulders, then vengefully sinking your teeth into where your fingers gently brushed over before. âjust accept my apology, you dick.â
he barks out a laugh. âyou should be grateful i value you.â
âonly if youâre grateful to have me.â
âif anyone else dared to call me that, i would have pulled their hearts clean out of their ribcage and snapped their necks before they could take a breath.â he explains plainly, but a smile blooms on his face. âis that a sufficient answer?â
âso eager for bloodshed...â your posture slumps, your cheek resting flat in between his large shoulder blades. your eyes close as you grin. âi guess i do have my answer, though.â
a familiar warmth spreads in sukunaâs chest. apparently, like you claim once again, itâs happiness.
he hears the grogginess in your voice when you cling to him, your voice sending thin ripples of vibration through his muscles.
âlooks like youâve lost the battle.â heâs now facing the bed, his large hand enveloping yours as you let yourself fall back on the mattress. he leans in to press a kiss on your neck, where his lips meet your steadily beating pulse, and the several other hickeys heâs left. âdid i tire you that much?â
âyou wish.â your eyelids droop closed. âiâll have you defeated next time.â
âtonight.â
âabsolutely not, you monster.â

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sukunaâs had enough of his loud neighbor
he canât do it anymore. he canât. itâs been three months since heâs moved into the cheap, sketchy apartment, and he hasnât been able to sleep a wink since.
why?
because setting aside the poorly maintained lobby and the piling garbage outside the building due to the lazily late collection, as if those things werenât enough, sukuna also has an infuriatingly loud neighbor. one who seems to spend most of her days cooped up in the little apartment complex.
usually, he wouldnât care. sukuna prefers killing time outside of his new home, meeting up with friends or just sitting in the park, a cigarette sitting between his lips, shooing away the birds that oddly like to surround him.
however, the instances where he is at home, when he simply wants some time to himself, a quiet evening, perhaps, he is perpetually soaked in the noises coming from his next-door-neighbor - you.
fine. the walls are thin. heâll give you that. that might excuse the occasional pop music you play while your friends are over. what that doesnât excuse is the loud, drunken singing you layer on top.
and yes, you might have a pretty voice, but ryomen sukuna values his sleep.
thatâs why heâs standing before apartment number eight with his brows knit in a tight knot, his rough knuckles rattling the door as âgentlyâ as he can manage.
for the fifth time this month!
âoi!â
sukuna is irritated. rightfully. but the rising anger flattens out immediately when you fling the door open, the only thing separating your body and his vision being an oversized tee that has a tv quote obnoxiously plastered all over it.
the flickering hallway light now illuminates both of you, and his eyes travel all over your appearance.
you are, unfortunately, his type to a tâŚ
âŚwhich is why he cannot bring himself to report you.
he likes the sharpness that lingers in your demeanor. your ability to be effortlessly gorgeous, even in the unflattering, yellow hue of the old building. even in the stupid shirt.
he especially likes when you bark back at him.
and maybe, just maybe, he mightâve grown a slight attachment to you during the period heâs been living here. though heâd die and let you spit on his grave before ever admitting it.
âwhat do you want?â you stand shamelessly at the door, tilting your head, very clearly tipsy.
âwhat do i want?â sukuna towers over you in the cramped hall, stunned, feeling the exciting challenge bubbling up in his chest once again. he tries to conjure the anger back into his voice. âare you really fucking asking me that?â
âi canât be bothered to play mind games with you at 2am, sukuna, so duuuh iâm asking.â
âah, you do know how to read a clock.â he narrows his eyes, leaning closer to you. in fact heâs so close, you can smell the remnants of his morning cologne, and he, the alcohol. âitâs 2am, woman, cut out the noise. thought youâd forgotten the concept of time for a second there.â
âugh, youâre the only one who complains.â
âbecause iâm the one who has to put up with it, dumbass!â
âyou suck-una.â you shove a thumbs down in his face, then point back into your apartment, the sound of a girl belting playing through your phone. âanyway, are you coming in to dance or what?â
he scoffs, emphasising it to be outwardly rude, his hands disappearing into his pockets. ânah, your music is ass.â
âyouâre ass.â you squint your eyes and look up at him, trying to see if heâs being serious when dissing your favourite singer. âyou literally listen to phonkâŚbitch.â
but sukuna isnât meeting your eyes. he doesnât even hear the insult. instead, his gaze drops down to your bare thighs, juuust about covered by your pajama top.
âfuck.â sukuna grumbles, grabbing the handle of your door and pulling it shut for you. embarrassment spreads across his whole body, almost immediately.
âHEY!â your offended tone comes out muffled through the door, which you click back open in a hurry. âexcuse you, but why are you shutting my door?â
âi donât know, maybe itâs âcause youâre half fucking nаkĐľd!â his large hand flies to his face to cover his reddened cheeks, pinching the bridge of his nose to regulate himself.
âoooh, are you shy, sukuna?â you bat your lashes, inching closer to him as your hands slide under his shirt, ghosting over the ridges of his abs. ââŚbut you didnât seem very shy when you FUCKED ME LAST Wâ!â you shout for the entire apartment complex to hear, before heâs shutting you up with a kiss, his tongue rolling against yours in a weak attempt to silence you.
you laugh against his lips as you push him away, his shirt bundled in your fists. he canât help but find you endearing, even in your mildly inebriated state. even when heâs pissed. even when heâs likely to get fined by the landlord because of you.
âwait!â squeals of surprise fly out your lips as he picks you up, slamming your door shut behind him.
âthatâs it. iâm throwing out all your beer.â he drops you onto the couch, grumbling as he looks around your livingroom, and then pointedly stares at the singular, half-empty can on your table. âwhat the fuck, you got drunk off of half a drink?â
âtipsy, you mean.â you roll your eyes, smile, then wink as an idea pops into your head.
âsoooâŚare we gonna tango?â
âoh my god.â
dividers by @uzmacchiato !
#dada
i miss 2020-2021 when i had no shit to do so iâd pop out a 2k word chapter like every day
đđđđđđđđđđ
âš á Öš â ⎠satoru gojo
ex!gojo needs you back
âš á Öš â ⎠toji fushiguro
toji after your death
you & toji as parents
toji changes for you
âš á Öš â ⎠sukuna ryomen
sukuna & his loud neighbor
kissing sukunaâs back after sex
âš á Öš â ⎠choso kamo
situationship
âš á Öš â ⎠yuji itadori
confessions in the new year
sukunaâs had enough of his loud neighbor
he canât do it anymore. he canât. itâs been three months since heâs moved into the cheap, sketchy apartment, and he hasnât been able to sleep a wink since.
why?
because setting aside the poorly maintained lobby and the piling garbage outside the building due to the lazily late collection, as if those things werenât enough, sukuna also has an infuriatingly loud neighbor. one who seems to spend most of her days cooped up in the little apartment complex.
usually, he wouldnât care. sukuna prefers killing time outside of his new home, meeting up with friends or just sitting in the park, a cigarette sitting between his lips, shooing away the birds that oddly like to surround him.
however, the instances where he is at home, when he simply wants some time to himself, a quiet evening, perhaps, he is perpetually soaked in the noises coming from his next-door-neighbor - you.
fine. the walls are thin. heâll give you that. that might excuse the occasional pop music you play while your friends are over. what that doesnât excuse is the loud, drunken singing you layer on top.
and yes, you might have a pretty voice, but ryomen sukuna values his sleep.
thatâs why heâs standing before apartment number eight with his brows knit in a tight knot, his rough knuckles rattling the door as âgentlyâ as he can manage.
for the fifth time this month!
âoi!â
sukuna is irritated. rightfully. but the rising anger flattens out immediately when you fling the door open, the only thing separating your body and his vision being an oversized tee that has a tv quote obnoxiously plastered all over it.
the flickering hallway light now illuminates both of you, and his eyes travel all over your appearance.
you are, unfortunately, his type to a tâŚ
âŚwhich is why he cannot bring himself to report you.
he likes the sharpness that lingers in your demeanor. your ability to be effortlessly gorgeous, even in the unflattering, yellow hue of the old building. even in the stupid shirt.
he especially likes when you bark back at him.
and maybe, just maybe, he mightâve grown a slight attachment to you during the period heâs been living here. though heâd die and let you spit on his grave before ever admitting it.
âwhat do you want?â you stand shamelessly at the door, tilting your head, very clearly tipsy.
âwhat do i want?â sukuna towers over you in the cramped hall, stunned, feeling the exciting challenge bubbling up in his chest once again. he tries to conjure the anger back into his voice. âare you really fucking asking me that?â
âi canât be bothered to play mind games with you at 2am, sukuna, so duuuh iâm asking.â
âah, you do know how to read a clock.â he narrows his eyes, leaning closer to you. in fact heâs so close, you can smell the remnants of his morning cologne, and he, the alcohol. âitâs 2am, woman, cut out the noise. thought youâd forgotten the concept of time for a second there.â
âugh, youâre the only one who complains.â
âbecause iâm the one who has to put up with it, dumbass!â
âyou suck-una.â you shove a thumbs down in his face, then point back into your apartment, the sound of a girl belting playing through your phone. âanyway, are you coming in to dance or what?â
he scoffs, emphasising it to be outwardly rude, his hands disappearing into his pockets. ânah, your music is ass.â
âyouâre ass.â you squint your eyes and look up at him, trying to see if heâs being serious when dissing your favourite singer. âyou literally listen to phonkâŚbitch.â
but sukuna isnât meeting your eyes. he doesnât even hear the insult. instead, his gaze drops down to your bare thighs, juuust about covered by your pajama top.
âfuck.â sukuna grumbles, grabbing the handle of your door and pulling it shut for you. embarrassment spreads across his whole body, almost immediately.
âHEY!â your offended tone comes out muffled through the door, which you click back open in a hurry. âexcuse you, but why are you shutting my door?â
âi donât know, maybe itâs âcause youâre half fucking nаkĐľd!â his large hand flies to his face to cover his reddened cheeks, pinching the bridge of his nose to regulate himself.
âoooh, are you shy, sukuna?â you bat your lashes, inching closer to him as your hands slide under his shirt, ghosting over the ridges of his abs. ââŚbut you didnât seem very shy when you FUCKED ME LAST Wâ!â you shout for the entire apartment complex to hear, before heâs shutting you up with a kiss, his tongue rolling against yours in a weak attempt to silence you.
you laugh against his lips as you push him away, his shirt bundled in your fists. he canât help but find you endearing, even in your mildly inebriated state. even when heâs pissed. even when heâs likely to get fined by the landlord because of you.
âwait!â squeals of surprise fly out your lips as he picks you up, slamming your door shut behind him.
âthatâs it. iâm throwing out all your beer.â he drops you onto the couch, grumbling as he looks around your livingroom, and then pointedly stares at the singular, half-empty can on your table. âwhat the fuck, you got drunk off of half a drink?â
âtipsy, you mean.â you roll your eyes, smile, then wink as an idea pops into your head.
âsoooâŚare we gonna tango?â
âoh my god.â
dividers by @uzmacchiato !

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
âš á Öš â ⎠ex!gojo wants needs you back
ex!gojo, who now sits in the silence of his own company. the fire in the teacherâs lounge crackles and beats like it has a life of its own. although a normal person may have been afraid of being hit by the flaring heat, he stands by the hearth, his eyes trained on the unpredictable flames, because it oddly reminds him of you.
ex!gojo, who wonders how youâd react to his words. whether youâd scoff in his face and call him stupid, or whether your face would heat up in that cute way it used to. in that sacred way, just for him.
ex!gojo, whoâs grown to enjoy your teasing, more so than heâd like to admit. who likes it when youâre a little mean.
ex!gojo, who, even after your separation, still lingers around your classroom. of course itâs only because heâs gotten so used to walking with you. so, like muscle memory, his legs involuntarily trace your steps. because, otherwise, there is no way the gojo satoru would ever allow himself to be swayed by your playful demeanor. or your beautiful smile. or the casual flit of your lashes that had his knees buckling, even after a year of dating, and a break-upâŚ
ex!gojo, who yells âfuck!â in the middle of the busy school corridor (risking a warning from HR for inappropriate speech), because he realises he does miss you. enough to make him itch in his seat everytime youâre out of sight, enough to memorise your routine, enough to provoke him to start slipping your belongings away, little by little. because itâs his own, harmless way of taking revenge. because his home feels empty without your things.
ex!gojo, who orbits you like an abandoned puppy, hoping youâll roll your eyes and nudge him out of your way when you notice him. if and when you do, he rejoices in the small interaction, a hand clasping over where your shoulder brushed him, trying to feel your presence, over and over.
ex!gojo, who tells his students to glaze him whenever they attend your classes, droning on about how he looks more handsome by the day, and how he must be attracting all the ladies.
ex!gojo, who expects positive news from his class - some good gossip - only to be given nothing, because apparently everytime the topic of âgojo senseiâ comes up, youâre quick to shut it down, your smile dropping. as if youâre programmed.
ex!gojo, who starts sending flowers to your home anonymously, with cheeky notes like âi know you miss meâ, because heâs sure that youâll know who itâs from immediately.
ex!gojo, who gets frustrated when you donât mention a word about it the next day at work, even when he pesteringly asks about how your night was yesterday, and if anything special happened, perhaps something that made your heart flutter, to which you reply with âthatâs a bit personal, satoru, donât you think?â
ex!gojo, who forgets about the flowers instantly, his stomach flipping at the use of his first name after a long period of you only referring to him as âgojoâ.
ex!gojo, who finally musters up the courage and audacity to confront you after you ignore the countless hints he drops, intentionally or not.
ex!gojo, who finds the opportunity to corner you just outside your classroom, asking to have a chat about mundane teacher things, but really, he finally has a chance to redeem himself, and possibly earn back your affection.
ex!gojo, who re-confesses his love like a highschool boy, suddenly flustered in your presence. because you somehow make him weak, even when youâre simply standing. soon, heâs apologising for the mistake that caused you to break up, asking for another chance because heâs sure he will never fuck up again. youâre too precious, too loved, and not a day goes by without you dancing through his mind.
ex!gojo, who waits anxiously for your reply, his hand brushing his hair back to soothe himself.
ex!gojo, who nearly drops in relief when your lips curve upwards adorably, your eyes lighting up. but youâre not easy - he, of all people, knows this. itâs no surprise when you try to cover up the smile, pouting instead, gaze wandering to the side. even that is enough, he thinks.
âthanksâŚâ you say, rolling on your heels absentmindedly. âfor the flowers, i mean. i enjoyed them.â
âyeah, of- of course. i got your favourites.â he stutters, hopeful eyes watching you. is he feelingâŚshy?
âlook, i-â
âi know you-â
you both start, cutting each other off before breaking into quiet, nostalgic laughter. it feels like acknowledgement - like youâve both been missing this much more than you realised.
ex!gojo, who had been beating himself up for wanting to kiss you against the wall even when heâs apologising, but is cut off from his thoughts when you grab his collar, pulling him down to your level shamelessly.
ex!gojo, who is only shocked for a split second before heâs kissing like youâve been kept apart for a millenium, his tongue sliding against your familiar lips, parting them. his hands grabbing at your jaw, your hips, running down your thigh to grab your leg, which, to his delight, curls around him.
ex!gojo, whoâs making out with you in the school corridor without a care, the idea of someone catching you exciting him further.
ex!gojo, whoâs warm mouth slides down to your neck, murmuring a mix of âi love youâs, âsorryâs and âthank youâs in between kisses, worshipping you for allowing him the privilege of entering your life.
ex!gojo, who is finally, finally back where he belongs.
note: YES to easily flustered gojo!!!!
đđ¨đŁđ˘ after your death
the act of forgetting is something toji has never mastered. when he spins his memories to the first ever time he received a slap, a kick, a bruise, he can picture it perfectly. he can push himself back into that moment in time, forcing himself to reimagine everything. bring himself back into that dreadful clan, where five-year-old toji zenin fed himself with uncooked rice and left out tofu. he recognises patterns in the memories, the intricacies in everything.
for example, how everytime he has smiled so far in his life have all been because of your presence. how you were the first person to treat him like he had real, human value.
people assume heâs forgetful and inattentive, that heâs a big oaf whoâs inconsiderate of everything and anything in his way. that he doesnât think of you in every waking moment and every hazy evening, even when heâs blinded by rage, or alcohol - always one or the other. theyâre wrong, of course. toji cannot just wipe you from his mind, however much he wishes to.
he canât help but remember the evenings youâd sit together, his palm outstretched and facing you as youâd track every line on his hand, making up stories you knew he didnât believe. things like how he would be unimaginably wealthy by the age of thirty-five, or how heâd find the true love of his life soon, only for him to shush you with a kiss, grumbling about how heâs already rich enough with you by his side. and of course youâd giggle, only managing a breathless âiâm joking!â as he would tickle you.
his favourite thing about mornings was the act of rolling over to his side and throwing an arm around you, feeling your presence before he even opens his eyes. kissing up your nape, to the bottom of your earlobe, waking you sweetly. something he had learned was okay to find comfort in.
âyou can show your love, toji,â he recalls you saying. âyouâre allowed to.â
8 months after your death, his morning routine is much simpler. he wakes up, his hand immediately reaching for the bottle of whatever alcohol was the cheapest, and then he drowns his throat in the intoxicating liquid. when he places the bottle back on his nightstand, he makes sure to nudge the face-down photoframe to the side, hidden away, out of reach.
the bed is large, empty, and cold. it leaves too much space for thinking, too many opportunities for the warmth of his body to escape. however, as much as heâd like to eliminate the ugly feeling of loneliness swirling inside him, he does not use the right side of his king bed - that is a privilege he wonât allow himself to have.
the dark curtains are never fully open, only slightly pouring the grey brightness of the winter sky in. his home is no longer the sacred place it used to be. it has no softness to it, no tender limbs wandering each corner. it lacks the life you once gave it, just like a body that lacks a soul.
every passing day in this now hellhole is another reminder that he is back to square one, fending for himself.
13 months after your death, he spends his days lazing around on the couch, on the bed, and on the floor, learning something new about his home the more he stares. a crack slithering down the corner of the wallpaper. the broken door knob. he doesnât care enough to fix them. good enough, he thinks. at least staring at them takes his mind off things.
14 months after your death, toji starts making stupid mistakes. his hands fumble with mundane things like cutting vegetables. sometimes he accidentally buys a glass bottle of olive oil, instead of wine.
however, his irrational anger is the worst sin of all. spring arrives, summer follows suit, autumn, then winter. they come and go without you. tojiâs cycle of life, which he swore would end with you continues, and he despises himself for wishing to stay alive in a world that doesnât include you.
he barks at the 9 to 5 worker in the supermarket, pushes past people on the cramped streets with no remorse. he tries to avoid the flower shops displaying your favourite flowers, because heâs afraid heâll look over with the hope of seeing you there, and find nothing.
but his grief shouldnât be misunderstood as fury. toji still wraps his arms around your pillow, still flicks through your stack of journals, notes, records. still keeps your signature scent by his window.
but his hands tremble as he holds your belongingsâŚwhich is weird, because his hands have never trembled before.
even on his worst days, his hands have never trembled.
dividers by @/diviniyae & @/honeyluvsw