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A caution repeated continuously. Don't play with fire, you'll get burned.

Due to an unfortunate issue with feeling like warnings are challenges in disguise,

I have never been one to follow advice.

He glows with sunlight

A fire, burning so brightly I bask in the blaze across oceans

His light dances, mesmerizing flickers enchanting my very soul

How could I not play with fire?

He is tantalizing, brimming with desire

His warmth melts the ice in my heart, blazes burning through every barrier I have delicately constructed

I have felt nothing for so long,

Not until now

That maybe your anger

Was not anger

That maybe

Maybe

When I attempted suicide

You were not mad that I hadn't died

Maybe

Just maybe

You stay, and she helps you heal

She bandages your wounds and imparts her deep and unending wisdom

Adds wood to the fire deep in your heart

Shows you that at your core

Deep inside that cave

Miles below the surface

You are not cursed

You are a thing of beauty and power

And maybe chaos has reigned in your heart for far too long

But she has taught you the power of keeping order

And she has loved you fiercely and protected you while you were most vulnerable

Supported you when you felt you would crumble

Showed you that you are not a curse

You do not bring bad luck

Sometimes, you were foolish

But that doesn't mean you will always be

And maybe you leave

Before she thinks you're quite healed

Before she thinks you're ready

And you promise you'll write

You'll find her little cottage again and you'll visit

She doesn't quite believe you

No one ever writes

No one finds her little cottage in the woods again

No one stays

But you,

You have a family,

And a story,

Waiting at home for your return

And maybe you won't find that little cottage again

And maybe you won't write

But she will move on too

She will find another

Another wounded soul

Lost and desperately trying to keep it all together

And she will heal

Our idea of

A merciful universe

A merciful creator

A merciful god

Is wrong?

What if they do not express

Mercy by the English standard?

What if

Mercy

Is not an exertion of tyrannical power

Giving the gift of granting you the ability to continue your existence

What if

It is by the French definition

Of Merci

Of giving thanks to its creations

For living their lives in spite of everything that is wrong

What if this creator is simply thankful that we, as its children, choose to wake up every day and face the world

With constant reminders of everything that is bad and awful

Wouldn't you like to believe that maybe,

Just maybe,

Something out there is thanking you?

Thanking you simply for your continued existence on this earth.

In lieu of solid knowledge that anything has created us,

Of certainty that the universe is kind and compassionate and caring,

I choose to be these things.

I choose to thank you.

Thank you

For your continued existence

Even and especially when things are so hard you don't know if you can make it even one more day.

Thank you for taking that chance to live,

At every opportunity that has led up until now

Every battle survived deserves appreciation

Even if the victory of life comes with horrible loss

Grim wounds

Grave defeats

Wounds that even time will never quite heal