I was visiting my dad's adopted brother, Uncle Mike, for the weekend as my parents were out of town, and this was a big problem for me. See, I'm 19, but they'd rather not leave me home alone after an accident last year. Now, the reason it was bad for me? Well...
I've always had this... Fantasy, you could call it? Of going up and just rubbing on his glorious gut... God, it's so big and hairy, but smooth at the same time. I just want to shove my face into it every time i see it and listen for hours.
Que me arriving there and my parents leaving. Everything was fine at first, i sat down watching the current baseball game with him, but the only "ball" i could really think about was the round sphere of a gut on Mike...
Then, the worst possible thing happened. Mike got up with a grunt and began to take his shirt off- "Whew son, it's hot as hell in here. That AC don't make a damn difference. Hope ya dont mind"
As you could imagine, I wanted to die on the spot.
"Hey, kid, come to think of it, mind grabbin me a cold one?"
I gladly went to the kitchen, happy to have any excuse to get him out of my line of sight, but when i returned and gave him the beer, he said
"Hey, before ya sit down... I dunno uh, how to put this but... I've noticed for a couple years now how ya been lookin at me. Specifically my gut. Of course, i can't blame ya, look at this thing! Ya dont get a gut like this off of nothin but beer and good mama's style food, huh?"
I could only sheepishly nod and stare back, terrified that I had been read so quickly and easily.
"Anyways, I wanted to ask, if you'll keep this between you and me, if ya wanna come get all those temptations outta yer system? I'm down for a good rubbin if you're good to give it"
I couldnt believe my ears, this was like a dream come true for me! Of course I (a bit too eagerly) agreed, and knealt down to get face to face with the gut i'd been admiring for years, running my fingers along the hairy surface, stretched taught with years of beer and mounds of food...
"Hey... Y'know I aint got a whole lot of cash... It's a bit hard to afford too much food, especially for two people, so i have a... proposition of sorts. You eat dinner tonight, and I put you in my tank for the night to hold me over. I'll let ya out in the morning, promise."
I could only look at him, bewildered with what he was asking... It had to be a joke, right? He didnt really think he could swallow me whole, did he? But something in his eyes was telling me he was dead serious.
"Well, if that's a yes, you can help yourself to whatever ya want in the kitchen, just dont eat me out of house and home..."
20 minutes later, i returned to the living room, haven eaten a pack of ramen noodles. I looked at Mike with a questioning glance as he motioned for me to get closer
"Ya done then? Great. Cmere, " he said, as he grabbed me by the underarms and opened his mouth wide... I could smell the beer on his breath as he brought me closer, his mouth stretching impossibly wide, or was i getting smaller? At this point who knows...
He grabbed my shirt and quickly pulled it off as he then grabbed me and shoved me headfirst into the gaping maw. It was like nothing i'd ever felt before... then came the panic, I started to flail, fully realizing just what was happening only then, but it was too late. He slipped off my pants and socks, savoring the flavor until I fell entirely past his lips and into his stomach. In there, I could hear the gurgling of everything going on inside of him and his muffled voice from outside:
"Ohhh yeah kid... you really hit the spot. Well, I guess i'll see you in the morning, huh?"
I was about to reply as i felt his gut tighten and squeeze as he sat upright again, watching the game once more.
"Oh- Hell yeah, home run!"
