Astrid Bergès-Frisbey by Hanna Moon
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Astrid Bergès-Frisbey by Hanna Moon

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When youâre a young actor, thereâs this pressure to rush. But I hope to be doing this into my sixties and seventies, so Iâd prefer to take my time. Thereâs so much of a desire in the entertainment industry for newness, a desire to build somebody up and then treat them as old news within six months. I think youâd be naive if you didnât try to hold on to your own way of doing things.
Sam Claflin for Elle USA | November 2015
Anything she ate wouldnât stay down. It wasnât that the district thirteen food was horrible (which it was, sort of), or that she missed fish and their district four bread (even though she did), or that she was sick over Finnick being gone (because he would come back, over and over people assured her of that). It was because of what Mrs. Everdeen had told her when she was in the infirmary, a place that scared her just as bad as the hospitals at home or in the Capitol. Mrs. Everdeen helped when Finnick wasnât there to keep her calm, though. She was a friendly face, her and little Primrose, a girl Annie got along with very well, and it was almost like she was being treated by family instead of strangers that were judging her. That was another reason she could actually get through an appointment- Mrs. Everdeen never made her feel like she was crazy. She understood her fears and helped try to reassure her as much as she could. Her words and thoughts werenât just dismissed.Â
She couldnât believe it when they told her she was pregnant. But each time she vomited after she ate, and each day she realized her chest was abnormally sensitive, Â it became a little more real. At least she was able to hide it, it was easy with Finnick being away, and she always told Ivory she was just going to pee, or say hello to Haymitch or Prim, or some other excuse that came to the top of her head. It was hard to keep such a secret from her sister, but she wanted Finn to be the first one she told. As soon as he returned and as soon as she was back in his arms, sheâd tell him and the life they always wanted would finally be theirs. They would be free. Panem would be free.
Right now she was lid opposite her sister on Ivoryâs bed, her bare feet up beside Ivoryâs head and vice versa, fingers twisting around her wedding ring. All things considered, since Finnick left, she had been doing pretty well. The nights were the hardest, she hated sleeping alone with all the nightmares and most nights she padded across the hall and crawled in with Ivory, but in the day time she was okay. She whispered to her belly when she was alone and twisted her wedding ring over and over, usually lost in some daze of happiness because she was just that excited over what was to come. âWhat?â She asked, tipping her head to look at her younger half. âWhatâs that look?â
It was very rare that the Cresta girls kept secrets from each other. Ivory could count on one hand the stuff she has kept from her sisterâsecrets that pretty much always eventually came out and only just made them stronger. It was why when Ivory realised Annie was hiding something from her, she didnât immediately force her to spill even though she really wanted to. She hated the thought of her sister keeping something from her. Â
Thatâs why when they were laying in bed together, she was trying to work out what it was. She was running away quickly, claiming to be going to see one of their closest friends but she knew she wasnât. She had heard a few times after these claims in the toilet throwing up. It happened multiple times after she has eaten as well. She knew she'd been seeing Mrs Everdeen more as well. There was a few possibilities that Ivory could come up with but she was never going to know for real unless she came out and asked Annie and she was never going to do that. Annie would tell her when she was ready and she was okay with that.
Annie took her by surprise when she spoke up and she blushed a little. She hadn't meant to be staring at her sister so hard or even with a look when she was deep in thought but apparently she did. She let out a small chuckle before meeting her sisters eyes. "It's nothing." She said, giving her a small smile. She had accepted that Annie was going to tell her when she was ready and she was going to stick to that.

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For whatever we lose (a you or a me) itâs always ourselves we find in the sea. Â - E.E. Cummings
I still remember those crashing waves and pink sunsets like they were yesterdayâs landscapes. November 2011.

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