Joe Hardison

Name: Joseph “Joe” Hardison Age: 28 Occupation: manager, pocahontas pancake and waffle house Relationships (if any): John Bowers, Chase Hamels (best friends), Sally Bowers (best friend/former interest), Valerie Connors (friend/former employee/former interest), Seth Connors, Victoria “Ria” Kress (friends), Carrie Fincher (ex-girlfriend), Riley Sharpe (employee), Leslie Mann (friend/interest) Portrayal: Nathaniel Buzolic

actually wicked smart but good luck figuring that out from the way he acts tbh

uses all his brains thinking up ridiculous practical jokes

“do it for the lolz” ~joe, probably

joe + drew = actual prank war nightmare

honestly joe’s a sweetheart but he has some commitment issues + an overactive imagination that keeps him from focusing on ~one thing~ too much unfortunately

otherwise he’d probs be ~going places~ but instead he’s here and he really doesn’t mind

honestly loves pocahontas and the weird people it attracts ngl

but also dreams of architecture too

but commitment-phobia makes it tough for him to make the leap

and now he might even have to commit to pocahontas and he doesn’t know what to do

does he take the leap? does he keep building what he’s already got?

~should i stay or should i go now~

in any case, he couldn’t be more grateful for his friends if he tried <3 they are literally the most precious thing in the world to him

even if he occasionally pranks them

he’s honestly super loyal to them, although always a little goofy

actually a great listener if you’re in need though

he’s honestly really kind and generous - not that he has much to give other than kindness though

claims to rule through fear (by pranking everyone at work) but honestly it’s more a loyalty thing

pocahontas can be a hella stressful place to work bc it’s busy, busy, busy but he always finds ways to keep the atmosphere upbeat and playful

also if you mess w one of his employees or friends, you’ve basically declared war

believe it or not, he has a will of iron once he’s actually made up his mind and his temper is frightening to behold, though not easy to arouse

don’t let his laconic attitude fool you, there’s a lot going on in his brain and in his heart

which is part of why he’s so hesitant to give said heart away

he also has a bad habit of falling for friends and never saying a thing

on different occasions, he’s had feelings for both sally bowers and valerie connors

it’s been a mess every time

fortunately, he’s moved on from both ladies

and neither ever knew (as far as he knows anyway hahaha idk how smooth he ~actually is but yknow)

honestly, his love life, like every other part of his life, is *cersei lannister voice* nine parts mess to one one part magic

is def a fan of brian young’s television series btw ;D

sometimes it’s hard to tell if he’s being serious or if he’s joking bc he tends to play off 90% of emotion w jokes

loves living by the beach so much

is def a foodie

if you don’t find him at pocahontas, you’ll probs find him at valerie’s

loves va beach and all its weird craziness like lorelai gilmore loves stars hollow

speaking of love, he’s had a thing on and off for Leslie Mann since forever

but the timing was always off, between her various relationships and the horrible death of her sister

but he’s done everything he can to always, always be there for her notwithstanding

not that he’s exactly just whiled his time away pining either

like i said, his crushes on sally and valerie, not to mention his relationship with carrie fincher

but more on all that when i’ve talked with abby and tina <3

suffice it to say it’s probs a situation where you just shake your head and sigh like you’re claire temple and matt murdock just showed up on your doorstep on your day off and uttered the words ‘i need your help’

but he’s the world’s sweetest human disaster <3