to a place of no return;

“Hey, buddy, have you been ignoring us?” 

Colin was standing in the doorframe of Bobby’s room. He hadn’t seen Bobby much over the last few days, so when he finally made an appearance, Colin had taken the opportunity to corner him. Literally.

He turned away as Colin spoke, rifling through one of his drawers. He stopped suddenly to throw off his shirt and toss it across the room before he continued his search. But suddenly, he stilled, thinking better of it. Colin liked guy’s chests, didn’t he? What if he started hitting on him? Or maybe he just liked Chase’s chest? Whatever. Bobby had to have a clean shirt in this drawer somewhere. Unless he’d forgotten to do laundry this week. He’d probably forgotten to do laundry this week. Oops.

As Colin’s monologue came to an end, Bobby turned angrily toward him. “The Aquarium? Really? What are you, five? No thanks. Just take your boyfriend. I’m sure he’d love to go. I’ll pay my sister back later.

“And don’t worry, you’ll get the rent this month.” He didn’t know how but he’d get it. He wasn’t some charity case. And if not paying meant spending the day with Colin at the aquarium, he’d find some way to pay it. Even if it meant picking pockets on the Boardwalk. He’d done it before and he could do it again.

He turned back to the drawer and started digging again, wondering how long it would take to get rid of Colin. He couldn’t just leave, could he? “You know, you don’t have to ask me to do things. We both know we have nothing in common. There’s really no need to force the issue.”

ROBERT “BOBBY” LARSSON / max theriot

Relationships: (sister:) Kara Larsson, (friends/housemates:) Colin Adams, Chase Hamels, (ex-girlfriends:) Alexandra “Sasha” Shaw, Valerie Connors, (partner in crime:) Aria Bentley

Age: 24 Occupation: Petty Thief/Unemployed Description: Bobby’s had a problem with stealing since the second grade when he started swiping pencils. He’s pretty confident in his abilities, since no one has ever suspected him. That is, except his girlfriend Sasha, who caught him red-handed and then broke up with him after he promised to stop, but couldn’t. Bobby’s excellent on his feet and could bullshit his way out of any situation. Despite his problem, he really is a nice guy and he tends to only target people who can afford to lose what he’s stealing, or if they hates them and he thinks they deserve to lose out. Bobby lost his job at CVS after they found that he was taking money from the cash register. He’d been doing it for weeks but they only had proof of the last time which (fortunately for him) was only twenty bucks and they fired him without getting the police involved. But now he’s out of work and he knows he needs a legit job (even if he could pay the rent with the money he’s stolen) and he doesn’t really want anyone else finding out about his bad habit.

Kara put down her window and turned the radio on. She loved feeling the warm breeze (even if she’d looked like she’d been through a hurricane by the time they got to the restaurant) and hear the sounds of the street and the smell of the ocean.

“Hey, so what’s been up with you? I mean, other than the whole – looking for a job thing –” They’d touched on that topic and they’d touched on her work, and that was all she wanted to say about either of those things for the next two hours. “How are things? How are the roomies?” She asked.

“And how’s the love life?” She asked, raising her eyebrows, “I hope i’m not gonna scar you for life with my horror stories,” She teased, “Statistically, I think that one of us is bound for a good one, and – let’s be real – it’s probably going to be you. You really should go out sometime,” She said playfully, nudging his arm.

To be honest, she was worried about her brother. She never heard him talk about going out with friends or a girl or anything. She hoped he was okay. She hoped that he would tell her if he wasn’t. Maybe she was overthinking things and maybe he was just busy trying to find a job, but she hoped he wasn’t all work and no play.

In truth, Kara hadn’t paid quite enough attention to her brother as she should have. If she did, she’d realize that he didn’t have any friends and hadn’t had any for a long time.

She suddenly made a face. “Wait. What are you listening to? We gotta find something better than this,” She said, mock horrified, as she scanned through the stations until she found the top forties one. “I’m about to jam out to Justin Bieber,” She said, "And unless you are going to pull over and throw me out, you are just gonna have to deal.”

Although Kara was, arguably, the person Bobby cared about most, he had never confided in her. So while he loved seeing her and spending time with her, he also hated it. Because he could never truly answer her questions. He mostly preferred talking about her. Kara’s life was always endlessly interesting. He loved her stories and loved hearing her tell them.

But now, he had to deflect. And that was the part he always hated.

“Nothing much. Just out looking. And the roomies are the same. We still don’t really get along but not much I can do about that. At least it’s a place to stay.”

He paused, almost willing the drive to the restaurant to pass faster. At least there, he would have other distractions. Like food. And maybe even Val.

“Oh, it’s the same. I haven’t been seeing anyone lately. It’s hard to date when you’re out of work.” He looked over at her then, giving her the ghost of a smile. She was wrong about their love lives. Neither of them had had much luck. For Kara, it was a string of accidents, none of them her fault. For Bobby, everything was always his fault. He found people he liked and he pushed them away. So eventually he just stopped looking. But those were things he didn’t tell Kara.

She never knew how his relationship with Valerie really ended. Just that it had stopped. And he was grateful that she’d never really asked. He knew he couldn’t tell her. He never wanted to tell her. He wanted Val back but knew he didn’t deserve her; he’d never deserve her. So his love life had become an endless cycle of making mistakes and spending the rest of his life punishing himself for them. He knew it wasn’t any way to live but he couldn’t stop.

At the mention of her own failed love life, Bobby’s right hand found Kara’s left knee and he squeezed it briefly before moving his hand back to the steering wheel. “Hey, I love your stories. But I also love your safety. Maybe you should consider hiring on bodyguard to follow you on dates? At the rate your dates try to kill you, it could be a good investment.”

He laughed a little, actually picturing that. Kara would probably end up dating the bodyguard. Especially if Bobby hired one and didn’t tell her. He could just imagine a call about her newest stalker. The thought made Bobby actually, genuinely smile. Kara did find herself in the most amusing scrapes.

“Are you still going out with that guy? I forget his name. I think he worked in a bar? Or a tattoo parlor? That big guy?” His nose crinkled as he tried to think. Kara went on lots of dates-- far more than Bobby --but Bobby never bothered to really keep track. That guy was a recent date, right?

At the mention of his radio presets, Bobby’s eyes widened. “How can you listen to this guy?!? You know he’s a total asshole, right? And I like my classic rock. You can’t get better than AC/DC. Honestly, who raised you? Who told you listening to that ‘Justice Beaver’ is okay?”

“So what? So, they’re quirky and weird and, yes, they have an unconventional way of doing things, but they’re good people, Bobby. And they are taking a chance on you. Do you know how rare that is?” Everywhere she looked, people were getting screwed over. Most people treated you like shit and wouldn’t even think twice about it. If she drew up a list of all of the people she knew and divided it into the people she could trust and those she couldn’t, she knew which list would outnumber the other.

“And if that’s true, that this is your only option – “ That wasn’t so hard to believe: she knew that he was close with his sister, but maybe even she wouldn’t want to live with him. Shouldn’t she know, better than anyone, how Bobby could be? “ – then would it kill you to be decent for five minutes? You don’t need to go riding around town on a three person bike with them, but can you at least stop talking about them like you’re so much better?”

Not that anyone who knew the three of them would ever think that.

“I don’t know what’s worse: you trying to twist this into sounding like I’m some kind of crazy person or that you really have no idea that the way you acted when we were together wasn’t okay. And, yes, I did care about you. That’s not a secret. But I don’t even know who you are anymore.” He was so far gone from the boy who took her on that first date, she hardly recognized him.

“Wow. Okay, so we’re going to pretend that I’m the one who acts different when my family’s around? I don’t know what sick game you are playing, but I’m done.”

She started to walk away, but then he told her to sit down. “You don’t think I’ll like the alternative?” She asked, raising her eyebrows, “What the fuck does that mean? Are you seriously threatening me right now?”

This was the last straw. Bobby sprang to his feet, leaning across table as his eyes narrowed. “They’re taking a chance on me?! I didn’t realize I was some charity case they’d taken in out of the goodness of their hearts. Looks like I’m the last to know, yet again. Believe me, if I’d known what living with them would be like, I never would’ve answered that ad. If I had anywhere else to go, I’d be gone already.

“But since I don’t, that doesn’t mean I have to like them. No where in the lease does it say we have to get along. So don’t give me that, Val. They escaped from a sideshow and you know it. And I’m one phone call away from calling the circus to pick them back up.”

He finished speaking in a huff, spinning away from her in his anger as his fingers pinched his chin. This wasn’t going the way he’d intended. Bobby missed Valerie, more than he could ever say, but not this. He didn’t miss this. He wanted to see her and talk to her, not drag out his incompete roommates every time he saw her. If there was one regret Bobby Larsson had, it was moving in with those losers. But too late to change things now.

As she spoke again, he turned back, glaring at her. He knew she was right about their relationship. He’d pushed her away. But being right and being angry were two different worlds and he was still immersed fully in the latter.

“Yeah, well, that makes two of us. You’re think you’re still the same person I dated? Because that girl I dated would’ve defended me. She would’ve understood that I will never get along with those freaks because we have nothing in common. She would’ve at least tried to understand. But we’re not those people anymore, are we?

“I guess that means we can’t talk like civilized adults anymore either.” He watched as she began to walked away and, as she turned back, he crossed his arms, smirking as he took a step from behind the table, moving toward her. “So what if I am? It made you stay, didn’t it? C’mon, sweetheart. Sit down.

Tina yes to all of this and more. I have this image of Annie taking her grandma tendencies with Bobby too far. Like sometimes, if she catches him in a grouch, she’ll just snuggle up next to him, put an arm around him AND SHE’S JUST LIKE: it’s ok baby boy, i got you. No need to be mad.

I feel like the only reason she gets away with it is because she always gives his money to cheer him up and Bobby is like suffer through it and get the money. But yes, she deff calls him up randomly and is like: Let’s prank Kara.

SNUGGLE UP NEXT TO HIM. I’M CRYING. as bobby literally doesn’t know what to do. on the one hand he’d be like “geT OFF ME?!?” but on the other hand she gives him money and i could also see him just ~letting her do stuff. esp because she probably does stuff when kara is around and bobby is nicer when kara is there/doesn’t like kara to know that’s angry 90% of the time. so he probably just sits there looking super grumpy, ahahaha. ... and now i’m picturing annie as dory and bobby as marlin. I CAN’T UNSEE IT ANNIE IT SERIOUSLY FITS TOO WELL.

IS THIS ^^ ANNIE AND BOBBY BECAUSE I THINK IT IS

VA BEACH + FACEBOOK 1/?

Come to think of it, that would explain so much about him. No wonder he seemed so angry all the time. 

“Hey, Chase isn’t working today, so this might be the perfect day to get a few classics under your belt. I don’t wanna brag, but we definitely have the movie marathon thing down here. One year Chase and Valerie watched all 501 movies that are in that 501 Movies You Must Watch Before You Die book. Between you and me, that was a little crazy, but I definitely watched some good ones with them.”

He was running through a list of movies he thought were especially amazing (besides Star Wars, they should definitely consider watching Lord of the Rings and Die Hard … maybe throw in Happy Gilmore for a little comic relief) when he turned his attention to the coffee maker. “… it’s not doing anything.” He commented. “It’s trying but – nothing’s coming out.” He shrugged, “Coffee makers never last around here. We make too much of that stuff.” 

And just as suspected, this didn’t start and end with one movie. Now Colin was planning to make him watch 500. Five. Hundred. Bobby could barely stomach sitting through one movie with Colin, let alone five hundred of them. No, he had to get out of here. Fast. Before his housemate had any other bright ideas.

“Look, Colin, I don’t watch movies. It’s not that I’ve been watching the wrong ones or whatever you’re thinking. I just don’t like movies. Period. I don’t like sitting that long. And they don’t interest me. Sorry.”

He wasn’t sorry. And none of that was precisely true. On some of the days while he was ‘out looking for work,’ Bobby would go to the local theatre. It filled the days. A few days ago he saw that dinosaur thing. It had been good. Lots of action and death. Just his style. Colin would probably hate it. No wait. It was fantasy. Colin would probably love it. Drat.

If Bobby had wanted to tell Colin about his movie preferences, which he didn’t, he would’ve told him that he like action movies. And horror. Those were his favorite. He briefly considered agreeing to Colin’s movie marathon but on his own terms. And then renting all of the bloodiest, goriest movies he could find. See how Colin handled that. He probably couldn’t. And it might get Colin off his back. The thought made Bobby smile. Or, well, what he considered a smile. Others probably considered it a grimace.

And then Colin offered him breakfast again. Couldn’t this guy take a hint? Obviously not. “I can’t take a day off. With the way everyone is always on my back about when I’m going to get a job, I need to be out there looking. I can’t do that if I’m here watching movies with you. Unless, of course, you’re planning to pay me.”

He shrugged, “That’s rough. I remember when I went looking for my job everyone wanted experience, but it’s like – where are you supposed to get it?” It was too bad that they were weren’t hiring down at the minigolf. Colin would put in a good word for Bobby. (Yeah he’s not exactly a people person, but he’s a hard worker … or something.) 

“Eh, come on! You can’t go job hunting on an empty stomach. I’ll just whip you up a few. Besides, I think they are gonna expire soon, so someone should eat them. Oh, uh, also the coffeemaker is broken. I don’t know what happened, but I tried to make some last night and it takes forever and then it just tastes like mulch water.” 

And that was another thing they’d have to save up to get. Not that Nick wouldn’t buy them all a new state of the art one that probably also made espresso and played music and took your heart rate, but he’d done enough for them. They could pay for their own coffeemaker even if they were gonna pay for it with change they dug out of the sofa. 

Colin rolled his eyes when Bobby called Chase his boyfriend. He had no idea why he kept saying that. Probably just to get a rise out of them or something. Or maybe it was because he didn’t have any friends and didn’t know how a real friendship worked. It wasn’t like he and Chase did any couple-ly things. 

It was all Bobby could do to keep from snorting in Colin’s face when he said he should be proof enough that comic books weren’t just for nerds and teenagers. As far as Bobby was concerned, that’s exactly what Colin was. Just an overgrown teenager who still acted like the nerd he’d been in high school. Did Colin really not see himself?

He turned his attention away from Colin, muttering a “Yeah, it’s rough,” as he continued to watch the coffee pot. Which it now seemed wasn’t going to brew at all. “How do you know it’s broken?” he asked, choosing to ignore Colin’s offer to, yet again, cook him breakfast.

But just as he was about to list all the reasons it might not have worked for Colin, a stream of murky brown began to fill the pot. The words died on his lips as he watched the stream for a moment before he suddenly reached to rip the cord from the wall. “Great. That’s great. I just wanted a cup of coffee for my job search. Now I’m going to have to hit Starbucks before I even start.”

It really was not that difficult to keep things working around here. At least, for Bobby. But Colin and Chase seemed to break everything they touched. Bobby probably could’ve fixed the coffee pot but why bother?

And of course Colin had brought Chase breakfast in bed. Of. Course. Did he even hear himself? Bobby chose to let this go without comment. For once. He didn’t want to prolong this conversation any more than he had to. He would much rather be out the door and off. Then when he knew Colin and Chase were gone for the day, he’d sneak back in. At least that way they wouldn’t see him and start asking questions.

But to do this, he first had to make it out of the house.

Bobby picked up his paper cup and shoved it back into the drawer with all the others, pushing past Colin as he excited the kitchen. He stopped next to the door, searching for his coat. But it wasn’t there. Where had he left it?

Of course. By the back door. In the kitchen. Where Colin was still standing.

This day just couldn’t get any better. 

He probably puts Sally in the same category as Chase and Colin: which is why are they so weird?!?! He seriously thinks Colin and Chase and from a different planet and Sally probably falls into that as well, haha. I can see Annie, Kara and Sally being like the nice version of the Plastics and, like, trying to tame Bobby anytime all three of them together. Like the three of them sitting around and Bobby just happened to be at Kara’s house and they all just look at him and go “you know, you would look much nicer if x happened. and we could help you look good for interviews if you did x” and Bobby is like “oh no. stay away from me.” *flies out the door and straight into the ocean* hahahaha.

He’d always act polite around his sister and Valerie rolled her eyes at it, but that behavior made sense, at least. But it was just the two of them there now. So why the hell was he acting like this? 

“What’s wrong with them?” She repeated, eyebrows raised. “What’s wrong with you?” 

She shook her head, frustrated. “You don’t have to live there, you know. Colin and Chase are some of the best people you’ll ever meet and you’d know that if you stopped being an ass everytime they tried to get to know you. But if you have to leave the house every time they plan anything, then why do you stay? Why do you insist on hanging around people that you hate? Why do you keep coming back here? Do you get off on driving everyone crazy?”

She almost laughed when he told her to cut the act, “Oh, wow. Funny, i was going to say the exact same thing to you. Just so I can clear this whole thing up though, what act is that, exactly?” 

She scoffed at his invitation, “I’d rather eat alone, thanks.” She wasn’t hungry, but even if she was, she didn’t think anything he could say would make her want to sit down and have dinner with him. 

The last time they’d eaten together had been years ago, when they were still together. It had started out well enough but halfway through he became irritated and then angry and the next thing she knew he was yelling. That had been it and she broke up with him right there in the parking lot. 

“Yeah, well, maybe I don’t have any other choice. Did you think about that, sweetheart?” This time, there was a bitter tone to the endearment. “Maybe if I leave I’d have no other place to go.”

He set his jaw as his eyes bored into hers. “But maybe if they’d told me about their barbecues and their matching aprons and anniversaries, I never would’ve moved in in the first place. Don’t act like they’re the victims here because last time I checked, I was the one who walked blindly into the homo of the month club. They celebrate their anniversary, Val. Who does that?”

Bobby sat back, glaring at her as she took their side again. As always. He honestly didn’t know what she saw in them. They were the biggest freak show he’d ever met. And he saw them on a daily basis. He knew how they behaved behind closed doors. It was like they were married already. Even they acted like they were married. And they still said they were just friends? But Bobby didn’t like to dwell on that. It just made him angrier.

“You know exactly what it is, Val. You act like you hate the ground I walk on and that I’ve personally wronged you every time I so much as walk through the door. But you’re happy to see me. Hate is a strong emotion. And you wouldn’t hate me so much if it didn’t mean, deep down, you didn’t still care. So why don’t you pack away your claws and sit down. There’s no one here to see you, if it’s your reputation you’re worried about. Though you’re always free to tear my head off some other time when your brother is present to play witness.”