Okay but I just want everyone to understand
the best thing about Ilvermorny being in Massachusetts is that this brings up a bunch of stupid fucking Massachusetts headcanons about wizardry:
-Professors with disgusting Boston accents
-The platform for Ilvermorny HAS to be at North station
-enchanted MBTA commuter rail
-the division between NY and Mass wizards going deeper than house rivalry
-the Red Sox curse being ACTUAL dark magic
-confirmed wand fights over Sox vs Yankees and Patriots vs literally everyone not from new England
-a Dunkin Donuts suspiciously close to the school that is always looking for workers because people are terrified of working the nightshift there.
-Magical Dunkin Donuts
-There’s an underground passage at the school (a la Whomping Willow and One Eyed Witch) that exits at the old Harvard station.
-On the train ride to Ilvermorny, students like to fire off spells. The stray magic wreaks havoc on cars between the station and the school, making them nearly impossible to drive and making the drivers seem exceedingly reckless. MASSHOLES EXPLAINED
-The real reason the Pumpkinfest riots happened at Keane State was because Ilvermorny wizards decided to crash and cast some drunk spells without realizing the consequences, once something caught fire, people rioted. Student wizards are not well liked in New Hampshire
-There’s a reason why Boston is “the hub of the universe”: wizarding folk powerful in astrology and divination gather there for readings more accurate and powerful than anywhere else.
-There was a gang of dark wizard students, who caused an unbelievable amount of mayhem and panic one day. The local magical authorities realized it would be almost impossible to totally wipe the memory from everyone’s minds. One wizard joked, saying that they’re going to come up with some ridiculous excuse like a family of ducks trying to walk through the city.
PLEASE ADD MORE SHITTY NEW ENGLAND HEADCANONS
OK but what about wizarding families from the Berkshires
- “Can we hike up to the school today?? I wanna visit!” “I told you, we can only hike up on breaks. You’ll get your letter next year and then you’ll be there all the time.”
- Personally offended there isn’t official transportation from their family’s houses, and they either apparate with their parents, use floo powder, or just drive the fuck up there because no matter if you’re a wizard or a muggle you still have to learn to drive in western MA.
- Smalltime rivals with the Bostonians and the Bostonians think they’re from another planet but “You don’t even have enough trees to have pukwudgies in your damn city! I hung out with a couple this summer when my family went for a hike!” and “What do you mean you’re an hour away from a broomstick servicing shop? Mine’s 3 minutes away.”
- Can co-exist with the New York wizards but bring up sports and without a mediator things can get out of hand. Also Berkshires wizards will sit around and point out NY wizards. Not in a mean way, just to each other. You can just tell.
- Muggle studies students take jobs at Tanglewood and the Clark during the summer.
- Salem is literally 3 hours away from Mt Greylock so it’s not really feasible as a Hogsmeade but 6th and 7th years all like to make a group trip.
- HIPPIE WIZARDS FROM NORTHAMPTON I rest my case.
- Defense Against the Dark Arts students actually studying the Necronomicon with the supervision of an Auror from MACUSA.



















