extravagantsixtygirl

And I clutch the little warm tubes of blood and feel this sick person warming my hands and I think about how kind you might be and how I wish I could hold your hand and how badly, how really really badly, I want you to get better and stay warm and hold someone’s hand again.

And anyway sometimes it’s better to not think so vividly about the people I’m doing tests for. I’m a good little cog in a vast machine of people all trying to heal and cure, and my cog feels so fucking small sometimes. But I hope the blood I prepare for you helps you breathe better and laugh and wake up feeling well rested.

Artwork by doodly_sheery

I know there are all sorts of camps in the Panttore/Dottolone ship right now, ranging from "Pantalone only liked the original and disdained the Segments for what they did to Zandik" to "Pantalone was married to all the adult Segments and viewed them as individuals" I am not above Pantalone harem propaganda, but in terms of the comments he made in the game, I've been mulling over my personal interpretation, and I think Pantalone had a very different understanding of the Segments than many fans seem to:

Pantalone insists several times throughout his scenes that the Segments are Zandik. Not copies, not dolls with their own existence like Wanderer. Actually Zandik. While a lot of the fandom currently treats the Segments as basic clones, it seems (to me at least) that Pantalone interprets the Segments as shards of a greater whole (the word in Chinese used for the Segments can be translated to "sliver" as well).

That is: One day Pantalone woke up and had to face the reality that the man he'd worked with and relied on for decades, his only friend, had successfully dissected himself into seven pieces, each with 1/7th of the original human soul. It appears likely to me that, in Pantalone's eyes at least, Dottore never "made clones"--he simply threw the fragile vessel called his existence at the wall and then named the broken slivers an ingenious creation.

Pantalone never had "Zandik" and "six copies of Zandik."

Having seven shards of one broken mirror is not the same thing as buying six copies of the same mirror.

Even if they all stood in right front of him in seven different bodies, there was still only one Zandik in Pantalone's eyes.

From the moment the Segments were created, Pantalone only ever had the scalpel-thin slices of Zandik left, all of which needed special handling to keep from crumbling further. 8 wasn't just a random doll running around--that was literally Zandik's childhood made manifest. 35 wasn't just a useful clone for keeping the "Dottore" role alive--that was the darkest piece of Zandik's soul, the peak of his pride and cruel ambition, given flesh and blood to wreck havoc with.

Even the OG Zandik, despite keeping all his memories, would no longer have had the soul; whole portions of his Self were instead excised like harvested organs put out on public display. (Nahida's comment that the Segments were an "affront to life" won't leave my mind.)

What would it be like to look at the person you love and just see pieces?

And this, to me, is partly why Pantalone was truly unsettled at the original Zandik's death. Pantalone didn't lose his "real" friend and get left with "fake" replacements. He lost part of the whole. Until the moment of OG Zandik's death, all the broken pieces were still present. What was sliced up in parts could still have been made complete one day, like holding on religiously to the shards of a broken teacup that you loved beyond measure. So long as all the pieces are still present, you reassure yourself that it can still put it back together again in the end.

But then a crucial piece was gone. An entire shard missing.

Once even one version of Dottore died, it became harsh and unforgiving reality: The segmented thing Zandik had become would never be a whole person again.

And after that, it was easier and easier to lose the scattered slivers, leaving only a single shard--then Pantalone had to watch that piece break itself even further and willingly leap into death's hold.

I know people say that Pantalone is the exception to Wanderer's comment:

But... are we sure?

Huh... did not expect that

Always identified myself with perseverance out of these (partly bc ourple. but it looks like I'm actually leaning slightly away from it)

These first ones are ones I read, and then there's a couple links to ones I've written!

When I'm Sick Or Suffering (I'll Still Call You) by l_u_c_k_y_c_l_o_v_e_r!

Summary: "Peter comes down with the flu, but a certain superhero makes sure he doesn't have to deal with it on his own.

- or -

Reading/writing sickfics is my guilty pleasure and I couldn't help myself"

Headspace by marvels_blue_phoenix!

Summery: "Peter has a bad day at school which leads to him slipping into his little headspace.Tony is there to take care of him."

Younger by anonymousautist!

Summery: "Peter gets sick and age regresses."

Annnnd not iron dad, but an honourable link to this series, involving ultimate spider man agere!

Okay, now onto the fics I've written!

Summery: "One bad thing lead to another, and Peter regressed the minute he's in the car, desperately needing a nap."

Summery: "Peter wakes up in the middle of the night, generally upset, when Tony comes in and helps him settle down. Enter regression, fluff, and iron dad!

(Rated T for mild language and depression!)"

Summery: "Clearing off a table, he got about half way set up when he heard the voice of FRIDAY.

"Boss, Happy and 'Precious Cargo' have arrived. Would you like me to send them down?"

Tony snorted, even the AI knew Peter would be regressed when he got here—The name was used when her parental codes were activated.

(Peter goes reallyyyyyy little while doing a lab day with Tony, and is realllyyy bad at hiding it —A whole Lotta fluff ensues!)"

Summery: "I-I'm.. uhm..." He sighs in defeat, putting on a strained smile. "Of course—Yeah yeah, sure, Mo..." He reluctantly agreed, not a fan of how fast the idea of a tea party was making him slip. "We can play tea party."

(Or, Peter is a really good big brother—But sometimes he's a little brother. And while he thinks he can't regress now THAT he's a big brother, Tony proves him wrong.)"

Summery: "And at school, he had three tests. One of which he absolutely forgot about, which, since he was overwhelmed with Spider-Maning and the 'internship' and his actual part time job and- everything! Of course he forgot! So now, he has to redo the whole thing!

So in short, he was distracted, like, big time distracted. And he's been... stressed. He hasn't regressed in a month and only a handful of guys knew about it, only available one being his- his boss/mentor/father figure—And, no, he will not ask Tony to look after him! (And sure, the older was definitely technically his caregiver. But after he found out Peter had been lying about not needing to regress after the blip, the older's concern seemed to double. He didn't need the extra stress.)"

><><><><><><><><><><

Eridian scientist: why did they send a baby to space?!

Rocky: Grace is not a baby. He’s a fully grown human and you all need to respect that-

At the same time another Eridian: the human is thirty!! Are you COMPLETELY sure he’s not a child? He’s barely coordinated!

Rocky: Grace is very sick!! Of course he’s not coordinated you fucking idiot-

ALSO at the same time: did you not think to teach him how to understand us properly?? Let alone communicate with us.

Rocky: he doesn’t have the vocal cords for most of our sounds!! And we were WORKING on him being able to understand proper speech but he’s delirious?! The fact he’s conscious is a miracle-

Grace who is visible stressed and half covering his ears but also trying to listen: what’s going on?? I can’t hear you guys it’s too loud- Rocky what’s going on?!

Rocky: apology apology other Eridians ask dumb dumb dumb questions, Rocky tell Grace later. Grace sleep now Rocky handle.

“What was that baby?”

However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.