Salad Days

Today a student emailed over a draft of his essay on 1984 and had clearly used a thesaurus on every single word, and how I know this is because the the party slogan ‘Big Brother is watching you’ had become ‘Enormous Sibling is viewing you’ and I lauged so hard I cried

lil guy thinks he’s in lush

I’ve never related to something as much as this

why did i try weed omg ima die i feel like a a dvd player

this is genuinely the funniest thing i’ve ever seen i’m losing it

People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?

Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it’s a very efficient system.

i can’t stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone

They know that the bird feeder isn’t meant for them

What’s the mood for Thursday?

these four guardians are all that what stand between our world and utter chaos

Believe it or not that stuff costs the company money to have and they need to ring it out to keep their inventory balanced. The first one is even accounted for, it’s just baked into the price of your meal so you don’t see it. So yeah, any additional sauces will cost extra. 

Reblog to have something good happen at 1:42 tomorrow