Asking someone out LIKE A BOSS!
By Jon Cozart
THIS NEEDS TO BE OUT THEREÂ
HEâS SO CUTEÂ

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@obsessivesyndrome
Asking someone out LIKE A BOSS!
By Jon Cozart
THIS NEEDS TO BE OUT THEREÂ
HEâS SO CUTEÂ

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OHMYGOD.Â
Why would there be a bottle of wine on the stove?!
WTF Barbie you canât use a cutting board for a bulletin board
BARBIE! you should know better than to leave a cheese grater on the edge of the fridge! someone could get hurt!
Um, okay, DOES NO ONE REALIZE THAT BARBIE is cleaning her kitchen floor with a garden hose? Get it together, Barbie.
OH MY GOD BARBIE! ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LEAVE THOSE DIRTY DISHES IN YOUR SINK? SERIOUSLY GET IT TOGETHERÂ BARBIE!
âŚSeriously?
People. Wow. Open your EYES.
Is NOBODY going to point out how Barbie is CLEANING HERÂ FLOOR
IN
WHITE
PANTS???
CLOSE THE DAMN REFRIGERATOR! YOUR LETTING ALL THGE COLD OUT!
Barbie, seriously? The blender on top of the fridge? You could get hurt!!1
Guys for the love of god how can you not notice the freaking rat next to the fridge?! WTF Barbie? Clean your house more often, would ya?
Barbie, who the hell puts a calculator on their fridge. COME ON! GET WITH THE TIMES!
I love how everyone pretends not to notice the toaster next to the sink. BARBIE! YOU COULD GETÂ ELECTROCUTEDÂ IF THAT FELL IN! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER GURL!
what the hell is wrong with you people???!?!?!
omfg how can you not notice the fact the fridge has three layers of drawers on the bottom? what the fuck?? barbie fridges dont work that way im sorry
SERIOUSLY?!! YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK! CAN YOU SEE THAT A SERIOUS CRIME HAS BEEN COMMITTED HERE?!!
THAT WALLPAPER! ITâS HIDEOUS! Get a freakinâ sense of style, woman!
theres a dead body
Whoop there goes the joke
Desperately filling the void of a really good book
DAMN DANIEL
daaaaaamnnnnn daniel

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Just a little reminder of whatâs to come this year. ;D
Happy New Year!
flirting with bae likeÂ
THIS IS SO CUTR
This is literally how I flirt lmao
i think seventh grade was a dark time for everyone
Walking around a bookstore with no money:
Me: *stroking the books* I'll come back for you.

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Iâm constantly torn between the âbe kind to everyoneâ and the âfuck everyone you owe them nothingâ mentalitiesÂ
Jumping in video games seems to be a necessary form of movement, yet in real life we rarely, if ever, jump on a daily basis.
Jumping would be more of a ubiquitous thing IRL if some combination of the following were true â Gravity being weaker â Jumping being totally effortless â The average vertical leap of a human being were roughly 4 meters, as tends to be the case in a given video game
1. your middle school best friend, the one you share all your laughs with and canât imagine not being friends with, will only be a familiar face that youâll share a smile with across the room during high school graduation 2. popularity doesnât matter. at all. be nice to everyone, donât be stuck up in who you talk to, stay down to earth. high school isnât just about climbing to the top and building contacts. one day youâre going to look back and wonder who your true friends were and what motives others had in gaining your friendship. take the time to get to know those who you normally wouldnât, and youâll be very surprised 3. the loneliness you feel right now is not permanent. there will be a moment, maybe months or years from now, where you will feel this overwhelming warmness, and you will look around at the people surrounding you and think, hey maybe all that sadness and loneliness was worth getting to this point. and you will smile and everything will be ok 4. donât get sucked into the âIâm too cool to studyâ phase. stop glorifying netflix, going to sleep late, and barely getting your work done. find your motivation and donât let anyone hold you back. there will be kids at school who will love to brag âI didnât study for this testâ and âoh dude I stayed up till 1am last night.â I promise that doesnât make them cool or bad ass. in fact, most people who claim they havenât cracked a book open, have actually studied more than you think. hold your own, be productive. you donât want to look back on a test, a quarter, a semester, a year and think âdamn, I wish I had done more.â give it your all and you will reap the benefits 5. donât lose your spontaneity - donât get sucked into the same rigid routine. regularity is great but you canât lose your spark. it will crush you, years down the line, when you realize youâve forgotten what itâs like to do something without overly planning it, without worrying about homework, without a million other items on your to-do list creeping into the back of your mind 6. when youâre having a shitty night, just go to sleep. seriously turn your phone off, close the computer, and get into bed. I promise that is the only solution. 7. when someone invites you to plans, always say yes. even if youâre exhausted, curled up watching a movie in pajamas. even if you feel like you want some alone time, or if you donât feel 100 percent comfortable in the social situation (not in a dangerous way but a meeting new people way) - say yes. you wonât regret the experiences. 8. make yourself painfully aware of the compartmentalized characteristics and cookie-cutter personas you put on and that others put on. be conscious of the characters the media has ingrained in our society, and remind yourself that being the âcool girlâ doesnât mean drinking beer and eating burgers and letting guys step all over you so you can seem chill. reading and writing doesnât make you ânerdyâ just like playing sports doesnât make you cool. these are associations we have been taught by movie scripts and novels. you donât have to be one thing or the other - you can wake up early one morning, make yourself a smoothie, and be that âyogaâ girl. then the next day you can stay out all night and live recklessly. you donât have to feel like you need to fit into a persona 9. not everyone will like you, and thatâs okay. stop trying to please everyone - itâs impossible. radiate confidence - even if itâs fake confidence, eventually it will become real. once you can do this, you will be untouchable 10. itâs not weird to go places alone - you donât always need to find a friend to enjoy yourself. go for a walk, a bike ride. read at a coffee shop, take yourself out to lunch, drive somewhere interesting. donât spend your whole day in a big ole box - you are alive, you are full of life and energy and so much potential. use it, move around, feel restless and donât settle for staying idle
advice for high schoolers (s-un-rise)
i love this so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(via universul)

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When I was young I thought that quicksand and carnivorous plants would affect my life a lot more than it has
Saw Stephen Fry live last week, and he told us this story: Just after the first Harry Potter book had been released, he was offered the role of narrating it for audiobooks. He hadnât read it, and was simply told it was a childrenâs book, so figured it would be an easy afternoons work. When he met JK Rowling, she mentioned that she was writing a sequel. Stephen replied very condescendingly âgood for youâ.
A few years down the line, the books are selling well, and he is doing the recording for the Prisoner of Azkaban, when he runs into the phrase âHarry pocketed itâ. Stephen could not say this line. It always came out as âHarry pocketeded itâ, unless he said it ridiculously slowly. They tried time and time again to get it right, but to no avail. Eventually, he called up JK and asked if he could say âHarry put it in his pocketâ instead. She thought for a moment, then said ânoâ, and hung up.
The phrase âHarry pocketed itâ appeared in the next four books.
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