Leah

Honest to god not promoting anything I vent here because if I have nobody to talk to about this I want to kill myself. NOT ANOREXIC. Actively trying to recover from EDNOS.

I don’t repost spo, I don’t romanticize this shit, I don’t even want to have it, I want so desperately to recover but the shit is difficult okay. I sincerely want to die because of this mental illness, and I just want my silly little online friends to talk to about it, that is all.

Don’t follow if you’re expecting another page for inspo, I won’t give it to you. No tips, no spo, no encouragement, nothing. I am absolutely not pro — at all.

Backup: @bxbypxwderrr

Tags for you to mute if you so please

#bxbypxwderr : just general personal posting

#bxbypxwderr foodposting : pictures and details of what I’ve eaten

#bxbypxwderr rant : self explanatory, just me being mad about random shit

#bxbypxwderr sh : talking about sh or posting photos of it, this is my most recommended muted tag if you’re just here to be friends or to see my ed posts

#bxbypxwderr recovery arc? : shit that I post when I’m trying to recover from my ednos

#bxbypxwderr is an alcoholic : alcoholism posting, this is my #2 most recommended muted tag under the sh tag

Guys I’m sorry for being gone for so long, I was kind of trying to convince myself that I’d recover from my ed, and also trying not to relapse on self harm.

I ended up CRAZY obese bc of my ed ‘recovery’, and I’ve wanted to cut myself the entire time (I will once it gets cooler so I can cover it). I had already gained I think 35lbs from my forced recovery, but my voluntary recovery pushed me up an extra 55lbs, so I need to fix that.

I’m such a disgusting ugly fat fucking chud and I hope y’all learn a lesson from me.

Well, my new apartments have a pool and a gym so I genuinely have no excuse at this point. I’ll just start going to the gym every morning before spending hours in the pool swimming laps. I need to get this back off. I’m so angry with myself. Looking in the mirror genuinely puts a pit in my stomach and if I look too long I want to SH but I’m trying really hard not to relapse on that again.

Crazy how a couple months of a binging relapse completely undid two years of work during restriction. Anyways. New hw unlocked I fucking guess. Not much keeping me from killing myself rn tbh

I sincerely can’t wait to die

This has been the worst fucking year of my life and it just keeps getting worse

But yeah I need to have compassion for YOU because YOU drove your entire family away by being a selfish abusive piece of shit. Yeah, ME, I NEED compassion. Not you, ME.

Fuck off and die prick.