Hi, @milkforartist! I think we have slightly different notions of how to treat someone respectfully, in this case. I'm well aware that twitter thinks that constantly asking about boundaries is in an attempt to be respectful, but I think it leads to a couple of things which end up making the fandom worse for both creators and the people in the fandom.
In this case, people were asking about things that really did not need to be said, and I think you could figure out for yourself it it's ethical to depict someone that way. One of them was asking about if it was okay to draw Phil with scars, which is like. Hm. Okay. A) do you normally have people being mad about things like that B) are you really going to draw philza with flawless skin if he says no C) are you gonna go around yelling at people for scars now? I don't think that question needed to be asked. So, as someone who is not a new viewer, that's merely an annoying questions that Phil patiently answered (or ignored, he ignored one of them today).
The thing is, Phil gets asked about these things so often, for such random minutia, and he's not in the habit of laying down specific nuanced answers about what is or is not okay. His answer is pretty much always "do whatever, don't be weird," which you would know if you'd been in the stream before, or if you just looked at the fan art he likes. If he had a habit of being really nitpicky about art, I could see it as a decent thing, but he just has not? He's given no indication that you need to ask about things like that, and he's given no indication that he's particularly interested in weighing in on things like that.
I have anxiety, and I constantly have to fight back the need to ask my friends if I'm annoying them. And I have to fight that impulse because it's annoying to be asked things like that repeatedly when you've given no idication that you are actually annoyed. Asking obvious questions is something that's annoying to do repeadly, which is something that I've had to learn (i'm autistic). Asking Phil questions that can obviously be inferred from his entire history so far falls pretty close to the category of asking questions that are answered in the FAQ. I know that people are doing it innocently, but it is still annoying. Just use your brain about it.
So in this case it was just annoying. But I feel fairly strongly that we should not be asking people about boundaries for actual sensitive subjects, because a) I don't think that we should be bringing these things up, b) we should not be asking these things while someone is At Work and unable to get out of the conversation.
If you are asking about an actual sensitive subject— let's say age regression, so something that someone might have feelings about seeing themself depicted that way— I do not think that the experience of saying "I wrote you age regressed do you like it", "I found this fic of you age regressed are you mad" or "I want to write you age regressed is it okay" is that different. In all cases you're already making it clear that someone has been thinking about them in a way that many people might find odd or have feelings about, and then you're saying "okay make a judgement on this right now, this sensitive thing that I'm asking you about". That is rude to do to a human person, to bring up.
And if you do this on stream? Where someone has to hear it and respond to it? You're giving someone no way to get out of the conversation, and you're doing it in front of an audience. It would be outstandingly inappropriate to go up to the coffee shop barista while she is working and say "Can I write a story of you age regressed", while everyone in the line hears this and stares at her, and I do not think it is that much different to do to a streamer.
If you have an actual sensitive topic, and you want to be respectful, I sincerely think that it is more respectful to think to yourself about if it's ethical to write this, and if it's ethical to write it where the creator can see it, or if it's fine if it never leaves Ao3, or if it should be archive locked, or if you should talk about it on twitter, etc, or if you should actually not do it—just work that out in your own brain— and never bring it up to the creator. Phil is not on twitter, he is not on Ao3, he never has to know about these things, and throwing them in his face is rude, in my view. He never had to know about the age regression fics before you brought them up, you're not making his day better. That's not respectful.
And I heartily disgree with the notion that the fact that people pay for TTS means it's okay to say whatever, as if the notion that if you're being paid for it you as an employee need to put up with whatever shit the person paying you throws at you. If it would not be appropriate to say for free, the fact that money is thrown in does not change that.
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