WORMS FOR SALE

*in a fake body cast, interrupting your conversation* i just think its cruel how not one of you has mentioned my… condition.

if she’s your girl then who am i? what year is it? why cant i remember anything…

ugh… my head…

well… no sense in waiting around. ive got to get out of this place. [stands up and you gain control of me] looks dangerous… i should try to find a weapon, just in case.

USE THE WASD KEYS TO MOVE AROUND

im generally not a very jealous person so i am feeling lots of brand new emotions right now

i'm an expert on being jealous you can ask me anything you're confused about

how do i kill everything thats ever lived

i had a dream i worked in an underwater restaurant and people kept ordering ice in their drinks and then getting mad at me when it would float away. and i’d tell them beforehand that the ice would float away & they’d be like lol no that’s not how it works just give me the ice. I’m fighting customer service battles never seen before

miserable that there is no way 2 avoid being treated as either a man or woman

enjoy some aspects of masculinity enjoy some aspects of femininity but i really don't want to be any of this shit

splatoon fans are like “you GOTTA listen to ‘freshwater freekin it’ that one is straight fire” and link you to a song composed of synthesized cat meows, first graders playing recorders, and vine booms. and then by the end you’re absolutely furious because they’re right

splatoon fans in the notes are behaving how you might expect

i cannot BELIEVE

whatever. go my scallops