Obnoxious L.A.

Heard about ‪the Nepal‬ earthquake. My heart goes out to all the people who had their PR opportunities overshadowed by this tragedy.‬

Happy Earth Day! I'm totes planting a tree so I can Instagram how compassionate I am.

My dogs acupuncturist is doing a great job at treating his doggie depression!!

Even if I end up a crazy, naked hobo in Venice, at least I'll still have a chance of being a *famous* crazy, naked hobo in Venice

Just saw the stalker I blocked bc of obscene harassment on TV in a commercial. Should I unblock him now?

My pho tastes like shit because the chef isn't Mexican :(

I'm done with dating stand ups. Tired of sleeping with someone who's a dude sharing a bedroom with another dude

The best part about boarding my connecting flight to LA is that everyone is suddenly beautiful

Sometimes merging isn't about getting over a lane. It's about asserting your dominance.

People keep on thinking I'm making an April Fools joke when I say I'm in my early 20s :

When someone asks you if you feel comfortable getting naked just lie and say yes so that you can work

How do we know all the reports of LA being in danger of "the big one" isn't just marketing and promo for San Andreas?