Martin is my dead wife

THEY WON'T LEAVE MY MIND

Todd Howard was literally a GENIUS when he made Oblivion.

Hell I'd argue [in my own opinion] that Oblivion is one of the most poetic games to exist, solely because of the main storyline.

Like, ik it has a reputation for being the funny haha game because of all the bugs, coding errors and what not- but the story is genuinely like reading a tragic poem about how fate is cruel.

HOKs story kinda reminds me of this one trolley problem pic I had seen.

"There is no lever, you cannot stop it, you are only forced to stand by and watch."

Cause like....

HOK starts off as just a prisoner, bound to a cell for an unknown crime. Then you meet the emperor himself where your cell just so happened to be the one his escape route was in, he claims he's seen you before- that fate had brought you to him. Before he dies he instructs you to find his son, to close shut the jaws of Oblivion & then you watch him die.

Mind you, you don't HAVE to do this. Thinking on it, you could've just delivered the amulet and fucked off- or saved Martin & went back to whatever life you had before.

You aren't anyone special, you don't have any power that would've been needed to save the world [like say the Nerevarine or the Dragonborn.] You are just a normal person who got caught up in this, so you could've just walked away..

But no.

Fate drags you back to the bastard son [whom you don't even really know mind you.] You become his blade, his protector, his friend & in some interpretations [that I enjoy] his lover.

Everything you do in the Oblivion crisis isn't even just for you, it's for HIM. "Oh but Bambi, the Oblivion crisis would affect us to!" Obviously, but as stated above- you could've just left at any given moment. There were many who didn't fight alongside Martin, we don't even know HOKs past. But most likely they weren't any sort of warrior before this, HOK wasn't forced to stay- but they did to not only save all of Tamriel but to save Martin.

Like ik there's not much to say this, but I feel like with HOK staying that they WANTED to protect him. He is the one you talk to the most during the main quest line after all, which makes what I'm about to say even more tragic.

The games timeline is also meant to be somewhat fast paced, I don't remember if we have a canon timeline for Oblivion but I've always imagined the events taking either months to an entire year for everything to unfold [me personally I go with the year.] So, within that timeframe you become his most trusted blade, the person he confides in, the one he worries about the most, the person he reminisces with, his best friend & again in some interpretations the one he ends up loving.

Which if we think on the romantic interpretations that's just so... So sad. HOK and Martin barely knew each other, cause no matter how much time passed HOK was mostly out closing Oblivion gates & running errands. Yet somehow HOK and Martin still find a way to love one another, to ground the other during the crisis.

Hell I almost wonder if that's something that was meant to be implied, that maybe there were some feelings that never were spoken. Cause HOK and Martin found comfort in one another, they ground each other, he ran to HOK whenever they were victorious, they worried about each other. It wouldn't surprise me if they had been yearning for each other that entire time, but never said anything because what lied ahead was uncertain.

It's always made me tear up seeing how Martin treats HOK as if he's known them since his childhood, he reminisces about things involving you that probably happened only a month ago. Like how he reminisces about meeting you, and he talks about it as if it happened years ago.

Gods and the ending, literally the definition of "fate is cruel"

Cause there was hope for just a moment, that Martin would live, the Oblivion gates would be shut & everyone would be okay. And if I remember correctly [correct me if I'm wrong] he assures you of such [once again always finding HOK in every situation to speak to, & again cause you're just a normal person who got caught up in this.]

And then that hope is diminished when Mehrunes Dagon appears earlier than expected, and you end up accompanying him to stop the Deadric prince.

He could've asked for anyone else to accompany him, to order you to do something else- but no. He wanted you to be with him, as he already had a feeling these would be his last moments.. And he was right.

Which that scene will always make me cry.

The way he just accepts his fate, how you're the only person to see his last moments. His goodbye to you

"I do what I must do. I cannot stay to rebuild Tamriel, that task falls to others. Farewell. You've been a good friend, in the short time that I've known you. But now I must go. The Dragon waits."

And you're unable to move, like genuinely. You can't save him this time, you can't pull out your sword and fight Dagon yourself. You're literally forced to stand there and watch

[Bringing back the trolley problem]

"There is no lever, you cannot stop it, you can only stand by and watch."

And in the remake how Martin looks back at you one last time, gives you one last smile as if he's saying one last goodbye- or maybe trying to reassure you one last time.. And then he turns into a fucking statue.

And that's all you're left with, no body to bury, no piece of him to keep with you, no body to hold as you weep. You're just left with a statue of a dragon, not even of Martin.

And how tragic is it [depending on your interpretation] that HOK becomes Sheogorath. Like if I remember correctly it is canonized that default!HOK is the Sheo we meet in Skyrim, but again up to your own interpretation.

Like I still think about that, cause sure it could've just been HOK trying to help with the quest. But no normal person is stepping into a Deadric princes land just to do some quest, hero or not. HOK was probably in such a bad place mentally that they just didn't care anymore, that the Shivering isles was just the best place to go.

And HOK becoming Sheo in the end will always be so tragic to me, cause now HOK has pretty much ensured they will never see Martin again. Given Sheo is immortal until someone else comes along and mantles the title.

It's kinda poetic too in a way, how you and Martin had fought against a Deadric prince, how Martin spoke about his own past with a completely different Deadric prince & now his own best friend has BECOME a Deadric prince.

And also given how Martin [temporarily] was a vessel for Akatosh [an Aedra] while HOK fully mantles Sheogorath [a Deadra] they end up on opposite ends after everything.

Then in Skyrin we see Sheo who is most likely HOK speaking to a Septim, they talk about Martin, about things that happened during the Oblivion crisis. Which is just.. Wow considering how long it's been, and how HOK has now most likely succumbed to madness. Even after 200+ years they still think of Martin, they still talk about Martin & not even going mad could make them forget the friend/lover they couldn't save.

The only person they couldn't save besides themself.

Alright rant over, sorry chat just- thinking about these tragic blorbos again.

Martin and my HOK below, my tragic lovers 💔

Champion of Cyrodiil

realized waaaay too late that jousting isn't even a thing in the ES universe (or at least it isn’t in Cyrodiil) but whatever I wanted to draw Waelin suited up in Imperial themed jousting regalia (and horse). yes this is technically martin lives au copium. see below:

being a poc in this fandom, specifically one who is indigenous, is kind of a nightmare. there’s so many white people here who do not give a singular fuck about how they portray non-white characters. this is their escapism, and they’re trying to have fun. and I get it! we *are* meant to be having fun! but when you don’t understand that your very escapism is a privilege, it becomes an issue. poc in this fandom don’t have that same luxury. these are fictional races, yes, but that doesn’t negate the fact that they are often based off of real people, and there is a LOT of unsavoury (to say the least) things in regards to that. both in the games AND in the fandom. there’s…there’s a lot in the fandom.

you as a white person can’t just turn a blind eye to genuine criticism of how this fandom acts, covering your ears and saying “this is my silly little escape!” because what kind of allyship is that? how do you expect me to believe you’re anti racism when you can’t even handle being told to be mindful when designing an elf?

and for the record: yeah! we really should be mindful when designing elves! we should give them diverse features instead of entirely eurocentric ones! it’s really not that damn hard to tweak your ocs to not look like generic white people, and actually give them features that they would realistically have.

the most frustrating part is how many people just…seemingly don’t want to understand or hear from poc experiences within the fandom. it’s not easy for us. it’s hard to make friends when so many people—even those who claim they’re anti racism—are casually racist in a way that they don’t even realize. and if you try to tell them, they don’t get it and because they disagree, it means you must be wrong. i was friends with someone for a year before the mask dropped and they started to spout white supremacist rhetoric, and acted like i was in the wrong for being upset.

As someone from a hot country that's regularly on fire, here's some tips:

WATER IS YOUR FRIEND! WATER! IS! YOUR! FRIEND! You can transfer SO much heat into this bad boy! You cannot cool down without water!

Wrists under the cold tap. Splash your face and the back of your neck. Fan yourself.

In some countries you can buy a little handeld fan with a water sprayer.

Damp tea towel around the neck. Stick an ice pack in there on hotter days.

Half fill a water bottle with water, stick in freezer. If you use a bottle with a straw, make sure it's lying on its side with the straw side up and out of the water. When frozen top up the rest of the way with tap water and off you go.

Desperate to cool off? Wet T-shirt. Sit in front of a fan. This will nuke it, just don't get hypothermia and don't fall asleep like this.

Cold showers are also your friend in summer. Some people get psyched up by these. Personally, I sleep like a baby, so I'm good to have them before bed. Just keep in mind that it takes a bit of time for the cool to circulate, so your body will tell you that you're colder than you actually are. I find that when I have cold showers I need to step out of the spray when I think I'm cold... I'll just wait, and thirty seconds later the temperature has evened out and I actually need to step under again. Rinse and repeat until you maintain coolness even after stepping out for a bit.

If you can't do cold showers, turn the cold shower on anyway and just stick your arms under. When they're cold, lift your arms up above your head. The sensation of cool blood draining into your body is fucking weird and kinda unpleasant but less unpleasant than being hot.

Feet in a tub of water with ice. Blood naturally flows to your extremities when hot, so take advantage of this. If you don't have a tub of ice water, sticking a wet rag on your feet in front of the fan works too, it's the less powerful version of the wet T-shirt.

Drinks lots of water but make sure that water has electrolytes as well. Stay in the shade.

Keep air circulating. Fans don't actually cool rooms down, they just help transfer heat from your body to the moisture on your skin or the air via evaporative cooling.

Block north facing windows early in the morning so the sun doesn't get in. If you're in the northern hemisphere, this is opposite for you. Keep in mind that if your home is brick, the bricks will still heat up and slowly release heat into your home even after the sun goes down so this will only do so much.

If it's hotter inside than outside, close all your windows but two, making sure they're on opposite sides of the house/unit you're in. Point a fan out of one window, making sure that the doors between the rooms with the open windows are all open. This will help create a mini pressure system in your home, pulling cooler air in and pushing the hotter air out via the fan. Bonus points if you can get that fan high up where the hot air rises; even within a single room the top is much hotter than the air by the floor. Adjust the amount of open windows based on how many fans you have, but generally you want more windows with fans open than windows without fans to keep the pressure correct.

Obviously, use your common sense for these. Not everything WILL work for you, just use the stuff that does and adjust what needs to be adjusted. Some of these will be impossible to use in the workplace but others you can still use. Others are best used at home. If humidity impacts your ability to use any of these, get a dehumidifier if that's an option, or use more ice instead of evaporation.

Maybe not in a romantic sense but just by fate, they were always fated to meet, to walk down the same path & to lose each other in horrific ways.

They were destined to become a tragedy no matter what, no matter if HOK becomes Sheo or not- HOK is still in the end destined to live with the guilt of not being able to save someone they probably saw as a friend.

Gods Oblivion is genuinely my favorite just because of how poetic it is, like you're no one special, you were just the person assigned to find Martin- and next thing you know you're a part of the blades, you have the future emperor worrying over you, reminiscing with you & then YOU are the one to watch his sacrifice. You are there in his final moments, YOU are the one he looks back at one last time.

Don't even get me started on how tragic it is if HOK canonically becomes Sheo [which is up to your own interpretation, but as far as I have seen default!HOK is the Sheo we meet in Skyrim]

Like they were probably in so much pain over what happened that the shivering isles was the only place they felt they could go. Only to become the mantle of madness & now can truly never see Martin again.... And then in Skyrim we see them speaking with a member of the Septim family, which makes me almost wonder if they were trying to find Martin.

Oh HOK & Martin, in another life you two met in better circumstances & lived a peaceful life.

[Also kinda poetic how they both somewhat become Gods on opposite ends, Martin becomes Akatosh briefly while using his body as a vessel & HOK ends up mantling Sheo completely]

I couldn't find a gif but TODD HOWARD YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE DOING 💔💔