???

[louder than everyone] MAN I THINK IT DEPENDS!

walking around the dashboard at four in the morning stepping on all the creaking posts loud as fuck

Did I ever talk abt the time i was at a bdsm club and one of the pups was on all fours and barking and being cute and the dom on scene was like “hi puppy! Do you do any tricks?” And he said “I can beatbox!”

I was like. Doubled over incapacitated laughing the entire time. He was really good and a big sweetheart and I felt kinda bad but I couldn’t stop thinking “why the am I getting the beatboxing puppy unskippable cutscene at the bdsm club”

There is no Love on that island

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason

wow babe you’re really good at staying up incredibly late and barely sleeping every night

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes