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a light thud echoed through the silence of the room, a bowl of steaming rice was set on the corner of the table where you were currently residing alongside scattered papers.

without a glance at either the culprit of the sound or the rice bowl, you continued alternating between skimming through the papers and typing notes on your laptop — the light contrasting the darkness of the room, your eyes don't flinch from the harsh glares of the screen.

"eat." he says as his fingers nudge the bowl closer towards you. "you're always scolding me for not taking care of myself."

his eyes glanced towards the eyebags underneath your eyes, evidence of your exhaustion. then glancing back to the steaming rice bowl.

you finally looked at the bowl of rice that seemed more appetizing than usual, it was probably just because your stomach hasn't been fed in a while.

"you cooked, for me?" peering up to meet his gaze that was already set on yours long before you opened your mouth to utter any words to him.

"your husband ought to know how to feed you when you forget to." he bashfully looks away at the admittance, a light blush dusting his ears.

he packs up the table gingerly, smoothing out any creases on the papers caused by your distress as much as he could and placing it on the floor next to the table. this action prompted your mini outburst as you were already stressed enough from all the work not being up to your standard — and your professor grading standards — “jun!” 

sitting up straight from your prior, prawn-like posture, you looked up at him posing like a disappointed mother with his hands on his hips and jutting one side out more. “you’re finally looking at me,” he raises an eyebrow at you and proceeds to push the pot closer to you, gesturing for you to start eating. “i don’t have time for this, jun.” 

upon your lack of endearment, his shoulders slumped forward and he let out a silent sigh. you would normally call him cute names, your tone further adding to the disappointment in his chest. but he pulls his shoulder back again, determined to get you to rest.

he picks up the fork from the table and sets it in your hand, “eat.”

you were gobbling down your ramen in anger, your hands were trembling and it hurt his heart to see you act this way. “what’s wrong, baobei?”

“nothing is going my way, the grades from the preliminary tests are not good, and i’m not good.” you swallowed down the last few strands of ramen and reached out for your papers. jun immediately stopped your fingers from touching the papers and holding your fingers gently as if you’d break if he held any tighter.

your dull eyes when you smile and laugh with others, your lack of input when you usually love to give feedback, your sluggish movements when you insist you’re just feeling a little tired, your slumped back when you think no one is around. and your sad, glossy eyes paired with a red nose that screams that you’ve been crying, but you still smile and pretend like everything is fine.

behind closed doors, you merely ate one meal or less a day, multiple instant cup noodles piled up in the trash — the amount of instant noodles you eat worries him. you sleep most of the day away, and you find no more joy in doing the usual hobbies you used to love.

“baobei,” minghao pulls the remote out of your hands, you were mindlessly pressing on the next channel button without realising that you looped multiple times — there wasn’t any shows that intrigued you even though you were once such a show connoisseur (your words, not his) — “don’t you think that’s enough remote clicking for today?”

he unceremoniously plops down beside you and pulls you closer to him with an arm wrapped around you. tilting his chin down to look at you, “how are you feeling?”

cradling your cheek in his palm, he looked into your dull eyes. a painful reminder of how you were struggling by yourself, the one thing you can’t hide. “i’m fine, why?”

tightening his grip on your shoulder ever so slightly you might not have noticed if you didn’t focus hard enough, minghao pulls you into his chest, and into the safety cocoon of his arms. he wraps both arms around your body and rubs your back.

“i know what i tell you might not be what you want to hear, i know i can't understand what you're going through, i know i can't force you to stop acting like you're fine. but i also know that i'm willing to take care of you, and listen to you. you don't have to keep up a front with me, you don't have to pretend when you're with me, you don't have to smile when you're upset, smile when you're happy, cry when you're sad, you can come to me, let your mask fall off and have even a moment of comfort by my side. it must've been lonely trying to hide it all by yourself and pretend to be fine on the outside, i'm here for you.

pulling you away just a little bit so he could plant a feather light kiss on your cheeks, leaving his lips there a tad bit longer than he usually does. he pulls away and wipes off the tears at the corner of your eyes you tried so hard to contain. “getting through today is hard enough, tomorrow will be hard too but you did so well and i’m proud of you. don’t be so hard on yourself.”